xprettyxdollxeyesx's profile

Latest Journal Entry

July 15, 2008

Who I am isn't who I've been

So, reading how opinionated and 'badass' I though I was four years ago; I couldn't help it. I needed to update.

I'm not unique, and neither are you. We'll never live a fairytale without a creative reality check and there's no easy way out of the holes we dig for ourselves.

I love dreamers, but I'm not a blind believer of optimism; nor am I pessimistic. Our lives are going to continue no matter how we intervene - whether by fate or our own karma - why waste the time you have worrying about the future? Worrying about discrimination, worrying about what others think.

This life is meant for your pursuit of happiness and yours alone, don't let anyone stand in your way of achieving it - I know I'm not.

Peace Love Unity Respect Responsibility. This is a code I live by and I offer to everyone I meet.

It is a personal choice you make in an attempt to continue to develop new morals and values as you continue on through life.

That personal choice affects others and they react to my choice in a way which they personally choose also, this will not make me change my values for them, but it will cause me to react to their reactions of my actions.

Thus, you will be forever changing your ideas based on the actions of others based on your initial actions.

I dye my hair because it makes me happy, I tend to have a stubborn and childish complex, so what? Since when did social values become a mandatory requirement for everyday life?

If you don't live to make yourself happy, I pity you. Because relying on anyone else to do it for you will cause you more pain then comfort; and trying to live life selflessly will leave you alone.

Take care of yourself first - you'll be of no use to anyone else if you can't be of use to yourself.

Death Note, Bottle Fairy, Chobits and Ouran High School Host Club are part of a growing manga collection and cosplay obsession, and I hope to get a team together to at the very least do a Whammy boys group for next year's Kumoricon.

Yes, I cosplay. No, I'm not immediately friendly or outgoing because of it. And, yes, I crossplay. ...Honestly? I make a aesthetically pleasing male when I'm up to it, and I have crossplayed outside of cosplay. You'd be surprised how much easier it is to meet girls when you're playing the role of a male, haha.

Speaking of males; recently, I've gotten this odd nervous phobia about them. I'm not even sure why - but even being in the same room as a man, the thought of it - scares the living hell out of me. That isn't normal, even for me, and it's perplexing. So I'm asking nicely; behave if you want to talk to me. This is really hard for me to go through, and I want as little conflict as possible.

Since I started college my interests grew more social-friendly, and so did I, so if you cosplay or know any of my favorite manga I'm pretty sure I'd love you.

I don't care if I'm in your friend's list, your 'likes' section, whatever. You'll never be on mine. When I look for friends I look for real people - not a pretty profile and some well angled photographs.

Respect yourself, and I'll respect you, it's a simple game of give and take. Disrespect me, and expect some backlash - I'm not going to lie back and let someone walk all over me anymore, I'm worth more then that.

Our emotional state of choice is ecstasy. Our nourishment of choice is love. Our addiction of choice is technology. Our religion of choice is music. Our currency of choice is knowledge. Our politics of choice is none.

I am a kandikidd, I am a raver, I am straight-edge, I am naive, I am opinionated. I am bisexual, I am Hawaiian, I am gender-conscious, I am sarcastic, I am human.

Believe it or not, I really am quite friendly. It's easier to befriend me then I make it out to be - I'm just sick of friendships turning out to be based on a web of lies and hormones.

I do live by plurr, I love meeting new people, and I am that girl that's going around hugging everyone she's tall enough to reach. But you're not going to play me, you're never going to date me, or see me in a scandalous position. Stop asking.

If you read this, and you're not illiterate, feel free to contact me. Just for the hell of it, say 1337 to prove you read this far when contacting me.

However, I reserve judgment to talk to who I want to and discriminate by typing and usernames, and trust me; I do so to the fullest extent of my being. Chatspeak irks the living Hell out of me, and, being a patient person that's quite a feat.

Sexual imagery, sexual usernames, it's not cute; popular, or even respectable. Have some fucking decency and respect for yourself people! I know, 'I'm not your mother,' and I really don't care for your well being.

When you end up raped in a ditch because someone coaxed you out on a date from the internet; I just want to have the upper hand in saying 'I told you so', because that's what's going to happen if you're exposing yourself to the whole wide world.

Not even that, but in this day and age, employers won't hesitate to look up potential employee's online. Who cares if you have a perfect school record and never got in trouble with the police? If your spread eagle on your profile, your bosses will find it, and you'll be denied work.

I am racist, I do hold grudges, I'm not a perfect person. I don't expect you to be, either; but we are human. We're expected to make mistakes and given a second chance - and I'll always give that second chance out. But after that; you're dead to me.

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