xXxsasukexXxloverxXx's Journal

I hope you all choke and die. We have enough problems without having to worry about yours. So get over it; we're here, until we kill ourselves... then you can celebrate.

I've got a bright idea for all of you. If you don't look right in the costume... DONT FREAKING BUY IT. There is no reason that someone fat as hell should play sakura, gaara, sasuke or NEJI.. stop.

Thankyou, so much for your poem. It made me realize a couple things.. like it's inevitable-- I love him, and he will be tattooed permanently on my heart for a while. But thanks for helping me somewhat get over it. **hugs**

Thanks..

and for those of you who read this but havent read the poem.. here it is

I hate, by ShadowHider

I hate how I gave everything for you.

I hate how I thought you loved me like I loved you.

I hate how I waited for you and you never came.

I hate how I called, and your ex-girlfriend picked up.

I hate how you told me that you were seeing your ex all along.

I hate how you broke my heart.

I hate how my heart shattered.

I hate how I cried for you so much.

I hate how you brought me so much pain.

I hate how you lied to me,

And most of all I hate how deep down inside of me
I still love you.






and yes, that really did happen. To me.

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff... and when I say a lot... i mean A LOT...

Like, why do people always reject what they don't understand? I mean, I know it's human nature, but... come on! If you don't give someone achance, you'll never be able to fully grow and mature yourself. The next time you think someone is freaky because of how they dress or style their hair or if they do/do not wear make up.... stop yourself and think,"What if I looked like that? What if I was the one choosing to make my hair stand up on end? Would I really want someone looking down on me?"
I hate for people to feel sorry for me and treat me differently because I wear different clothes. Its retarded.

So what if I dont like name brands? I'm not in to Abercrombie or Aeropostale or American Eagle anyway. Why should I care?

For the same shallow reason everyone else does. You worry about labels because you want to FIT IN. Not because you think they're cool looking, or because you have your OWN MIND... no, because you don't want to feel like a loser the next time you see one of your friends.

Next time you walk into one of those stores, which, admit it, you will.... Ask yourself what YOU wanna wear. Why should your friends matter? It's your body.

I know you have one of these and im jus sayin that you owe me a poem.

To all emo guys,

without you, my life is a moonless night, forever to be darkened by all the preppies and their happiness. (^.^)

no, seriously now...

This is a tribute to all of those emo guys who have loved and lost, or have given their heart so beautifully only to have it crushed.. I'm pretty sure all chicks/guys (whatever ur into ^.^ I'm not biased) say that YOU ROCK! You guys effing rule and even though I don't know ya, I luh ya all!... lol

I'm not some freaky stalker chick. I promise.

To:

Derek: Without you, I would have ended my life a loooong time ago.

Matt: You can be a player, but you will be forever known as Murse (male-nurse) Matt to me ^.^!

Trent: I love you because you're the only guy that actually cries while watching flicka with me. You're sweet and loving and I hop e I never have to lose you.

Jason: May your soul rest in heaven, I loved you. You were like the brother I never had and I thank you for kicking my abusive father's so many times, and then putting up with all the rest of my drama. It takes a true friend, and brother, to do that.

Dave: MAJOR THANK YOU.. I OWE YOU THAT MUCH.. You are the one that has truly brightened my life up. BTW.. thank you so much for kicking brandon's ass.. I knew it was you, even though you lied and said it was Kris. That was very noble of you **AIR HUGS FOR TEH EMO ^.^**

Kristopher: I don't know what all to say to you. I love you, so much... you are like, hmmm... the sensei I never had... lol you ARE truly my brotha from anotha motha.

Damien: You are the sexiest man alive, lol.. i luh ya so much! Hopefully Kirsten knows how lucky she is! and don't worry, if she breaks ur heart, you always have me. lol ^.^ but.. seriously...

TO ALL THE EMO GUYS: YOU ARE THE CHEESE TO THE PROVERBIAL MACARONI.. WITHOUT YA'LL, LIFE WOULD BE SUPA BORING. THANKS.... ^.^ **EMO KISSES TO ALL MY B***HES**

AND **EMO HUGS TO ALL THOSE AMAZING EMO GUYS. MY MOM MAY HATE YOU (WELL, AND ME TOO), BUT i LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ^.^

If he has one of these, which I'm sure he doesn't... I'll be rly embarassed.

I'm really, really happy right now... cause the guy I've been admiring from afar actually came up to me and talked to me.

but I'm just conflicted on other things. Brandon flirts with me a lot now.. though hes like, ancient history.

Welp, I feel better today and hopefully my mood will stay this way. Brandon's with some new chick named Ally, and it hurts me to know that while he was going out with me, he was hooking up with her. But enough of him... of them. IDC.

My mood is really good today, even though I saw my long time crush, Daryl in the hallway today. God, he's sooo cute.. and not even in a SMEXII HEARTTHROB kinda way... but in the nerdy "gamer-freak" kinda way...

yeah, i like nerds... i dunno why.

Well, everything is going haywire, and I'm tired of Brandon. I still can't get him outta my head though, and its hard to forget someone I have been with for so long. god, this sucks.. like, really sucks. I called his house, and some chick picked up. can you guess who this chick was? HIS EX GIRLFRIEND. Yeah, her name's Britt, and she effing hates my ass. She sends me emails telling me that she's planning on stealing Brandon, and the next thing I know it ACTUALLY HAPPENS. Omg, how much more messed up can it be? very. It turns out he was there but instead of letting him on the phone, she says,"No, he's not here." even though i can hear him talking to her in the background, telling her to COME BACK TO BED. Do you know how much my heart is hurting? What should I do?

Well, everything is going haywire, and I'm tired of Brandon. I still can't get him outta my head though, and its hard to forget someone I have been with for so long. god, this sucks.. like, really sucks. I called his house, and some chick picked up. can you guess who this chick was? HIS EX GIRLFRIEND. Yeah, her name's Britt, and she effing hates my ass. She sends me emails telling me that she's planning on stealing Brandon, and the next thing I know it ACTUALLY HAPPENS. Omg, how much more messed up can it be? very. It turns out he was there but instead of letting him on the phone, she says,"No, he's not here." even though i can hear him talking to her in the background, telling her to COME BACK TO BED. Do you know how much my heart is hurting? What should I do?

Well, everything is going haywire, and I'm tired of Brandon. I still can't get him outta my head though, and its hard to forget someone I have been with for so long. god, this sucks.. like, really sucks. I called his house, and some chick picked up. can you guess who this chick was? HIS EX GIRLFRIEND. Yeah, her name's Britt, and she effing hates my ass. She sends me emails telling me that she's planning on stealing Brandon, and the next thing I know it ACTUALLY HAPPENS. Omg, how much more messed up can it be? very. It turns out he was there but instead of letting him on the phone, she says,"No, he's not here." even though i can hear him talking to her in the background, telling her to COME BACK TO BED. Do you know how much my heart is hurting? What should I do?

I hate this class, and I hate people so much. They're so stereotypical. Like, since I wear black i HAVE to be a cutter, right? yeah.... sure.. and yes i do cut, but thats my way of handling stress... It's better than an eating disorder, so why make fun of me? shut the hell up and leave me and my damn problems alone. I'm better off alone as it is.

I hate seeing them walk together Their happiness sickens me and makes me remember a happier time, when I was there beside him, to comfort him, to make him happy but it seems as if that all just faded away he found "fresh meat" and now i'm left forgotten sitting on the curb, waiting for something, but not knowing what that something is ill wait patiently, a little while longer and then maybe he'll realize that i'm the only one for him hah, that makes me laugh for I know it will never be true. ------------------------------------------------------------ okay, so this is my first journal entry, and i'm writing it in my fourth period iba class. ill probably get in trouble but i don't give a rat's ass. they'll be okay... it seems as if I'm always depressed now. Just seeing Jordan with that fake wanna-be makes me sad. We had been going out for like, how many years? 2? and he decides to end it because I'm a worthless emo bitch, and it doesn't matter what i feel, i should just go sit in a corner, cry and cut myself again. I promised Derek I would try to stop, though, so that is no longer an option. Yeah, this is my real life.. and it sucks.. this is THE TRUE LIFE OF THE SUICIDAL... as told by me, steffie.