Updates From The Quizilla Team
Looking for this user's homepage?
User homepages are currently unavailable, but they will be coming back in the next few weeks.
xWONDERINGWHERELOVEWENTx's profile
- Member since
- Aug 2nd, 2006
- Profile Viewed
- 12 Times
- Last login:
- Aug 13th, 2007
Newest Creations
| Type | Title & Info | Average Rating |
|---|---|---|
Friends
Latest Journal Entry
January 15, 2007
The thoughts and feeling i couldn't hold in any longer..
Chances are nobody is going to read this so i can just say it.WON'T SOMEBODY SAVE ME?????
From what exactly, i don't know, but this is what i do know. All the time i read stories off of quizilla and i love them, but the only problem is they are on love. Of course i wouldn't read anything else, let's face it, love stories tend to always be the best, but i need to stop. The feeling in my chest is killing me, maybe hopefully its just some disease and not from emotions. All i know is that i can't take it anymore. Tears never help it go away, instead it just makes the pain stronger; feeding it. I contimplate weather i should just take advil or tylenol, maybe its just a pain, but what scares me even more is that a part of me wants the pain to be there, for me to use it as an excuse as to why i'm so miserable. I don't really know if this pain is from the lack of love i have in my life but yet this one question always tends to eat me inside: Can you want something that you don't believe in? I want love, i want the love of my life more than anything, but reading all of these perfect love stories it makes me realize more and more that love couldn't possible exist. My whole life i still have yet to see a couple fully in love. A couple that when they look at each other you can see their eyes glistening. Then watching all those love movies saying only love happens once in a life time or to find your other half is very rare, only shortes my beliefs more and i don't think i can take it. Everything that i want to be i'm not, and i can't be. If i tried everything that has every been stable for me will shake and i can loose everything, and i'm not willing to do that. Now that i think of it that's exactly what i should be doing, risking everything for what i want, but i want something that i don't have; something that isn't even in my grasp. I see the others all around, being happy together always with one another, thier luck seems to never end, almost as if they had a lifetime supply. I wish i could just go up to them and ask them if i could borrow just a sprinkle of luck. I don't know what to do. I'm halfway through my educational life and i have yet to have anything close to a relationship or anything close to a connection with someone that could make me whole and mend my wounds. I'm scared. I don't think i can last much longer if this feeling is going to stay there taunting me and hurting me and ripping me inside out. But i can only say one thing. This feeling it's won. I've given up. I don't believe that love can happen, for i have never seen it. All i have seen are examples and reasons why it doesn't and how it can't exist. Sometimes i guess we can't get what we want, no matter how badly we want them. Love is ment to be a fairly tale only found with prince charmings and happily ever after that stay in our imagination; in the back of our minds, far away from reality.
