vampirehurt's Journal

wow the other day was x-mas. it was so much fun
i mean after mom and dad fighting, we had a lonely dinner with the dog trying to eat it dad getting drunk and my mom yelling at the dog.

it was so much fun.

but no morea bout that, today i went to town with my friend walked around nothing was open so we didnt do much.

but i had to got the number from the guy i like yay go me.
so we might meet up tomorrow which makes me more than happy.
but i am going now byes<33


Hitler

okat so maybe most of my posts are kinda sad or just like a teenage girl. but this time i am happy. which is a good thing right?
well lately I have been have this guy jonathan come over and yes I have a crush on him. well we will go to my room watch a movie and i will fall asleep in his arms.
but for the past week he has been saying stuff like that if anyone ever hurts you Iwill kick their ass (which he has done)
but today he asked me if I liked anyone and I couldnt tell him that it is him.
so all day at school he was asking me for hints. and he soon found out it was him but wouldnt tell me that he thought it was him. till I walked him to the train.
but i had hurt my ribs just the other day and he had lifted me off the chair I was standing on to get flour. I had screamed and my dog humped him but he hugged me better.
we went back to my room where i fell asleep in his arms while he played with my hair kinda.
but know we are going out even though I have to hide it from my dad till my b-day which sucks coz its not till summer.


now that was the good things about today.
at school however I had a break down in singing class coz I was in there for 2 hours it was hot and I couldnt get water. I had to sing
I hear the laughter I taste the tears but I cant get near you now. but my mouth was dry so I sounded like shit. and I passed outin that class too.
and in maths I could understand what to do plus for a min I forgot what 2 plus 2 was löl.

but now I am happy and waiting for him to call me like he always does at this time ^^

spin the bottle, a girls best friend or is it not?
well sometimes it can be the best thing but when you are your friends play it in Kamppi and its truth or dare one its not the best.

Sure it was fun till my frend Bige thought it would be nice for me to have the dare of kissing wait no make out with our friend that is a really really hot emo the the wholeskool thinks I am going out with all because we are really really really realy close.
well lets just say he was an okat kisser but I was red the rest of the day.
But it doesnt help when even she thought I was going out with him in secert just because I am like always with him alone in the a corner really close to and hugging him.
I cant help it he gives  really nice hugs when I need one, its like he knows every time I need one too.
But still it was a fun day we went to the zoo instead of skool that was nice, but Arttu's friends kinda ditched him and mine did me so that Arttu and I could have some "alone" time.
So we went to go watch the otters. But the it started to snow on us but its a good thing that i like the snow well kinda. but my friend amal found us walking next to the ilamas so us three went to find a place to sit.

So yeah...
spin the bottle is a good and bad thing right?

is it so wrong to like someone when you are with someone?
even though you may seem happy?
and that person that you like when ever you see them and they wave at you and when you get that odd feeling you know you shouldnt get? is it wrong?
And when you are with the person you are with and you see the person you like and you blush without meaning to is it bad to say that you are cold? or walk off without looking behind when you know the other personwas waving at you?

If so why am I so fucking dumb? Why did I start to datte my friend when I  knew my feeling for him was just friends?
And the other person why do I have to like him. why? because he is the most best person I know. coz we have alot in commen.
But me not wanting to be alone messed things up.
Fuck this I just want to fucking kill myself maybe then I could be happy

grrr I fucking got sick, I am in a new place that dad likes to call home, All I really want to do is sleep.but no  cant not yet.
Yeah I have been in mississippi for the past week,my dads family lives here the family I dont even know not till last saturday anyway.
I mean sure I had a fun time and all but the first 2 nights here were hell. the first night I had to sleep somewhere I really would of liked not to, I mean the room was nice but really really girly. Then on on the second night I got really sick.

But atleast today I got to go shopping.
That was fun I got to go to HOTTOPIC for the first time in a year.
Garf I just want to go home.
well I am getting on the plane tomorrow, YAY!!!!!!!!

                                                                                      hitler

woowoo
7 more days till FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND yay!!!!
but I have a test coming up which sucks ass coz I suck in math.
so I might not pass that test (damn it)

Oh when I go back to america my sister might be coming to see me, I hope she does coz its been a year of not seeing her. And I really miss her 
Oh and on friday my mom is taking me to go look for a dress or a nice skirt for the dance but it has to be one I can bring with me to mississippi ( I hate spelling that)
so I can wear it if we go somewhere "fancy". most likly we will go to some place that only serves meat grrr MEAT IS MURDER!!!!!!
sorry lost myself there for a sec.

but grrr I need to go study some more talk to ya later byesss


                                                                                           Pixi or now
                                                                                           called Hitler ( damn you amal)

OKat I have good news well for me anyway.
In 25 days I get to see FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND with my friends. lol
then in 30 or 40 some odd days I will be going to a dance.
Can you beleave that this would be my real first dance I get to go to? and I am 16 its like dude come on wtf?
Then in the month after that I get to go back to america woowoo!!!
Hehehe I am so fucking happy right now. even though I am sick.

But ohwell
love ya


                                                                    Pixie

Damnit you remeber when I said that I was liklng my one friend well it tuns out he is a Queen. Damnit, but hey we are close now at least but it kinda  sucks when I forget that he is one, till he goes and looks at some guys ass in our class.

But off of that for now.
Skool has been going fine but that having to get up at 5:30 every friday so I can get the 6:30 buss so I can get to skool by 8:10 sucks ass so  so so so so so much.
I know I wanted to go to this skool but come on they could make my time talbe a bit nicer for me but nooo they make the kid who lives really far away get up really early.

But I must be happy that I am going to that skool coz if I wasnt I would be so fucking lost right now, I mean I have learnd more finnish in a week then I did all of last year which is like so fucked up if you ask me.

 

OKat on to the good stuff, I am on the computer for like the first time in a week.
I had my B-day on the 21 my friend got to come over.
my sister made me this nice pach with Franks head onit, and now I am waiting for the belly ring she order me with MCR writing on it.
my Friend Aly got my me this cute necklace the boner got me this perfume that I love but I saw the price of it and it was like 76 bucks.
well that is all for now Boner is coming over talk to ya later MOI MOI.

 

                                                                      
                                                                                     Emily aka Pixie

I for once liked my first day of school.
I mean sure this moning I was freeking out, I mean I missed my bus and stuff but I still got there earlyer then I should of.
But once I got in my home room. coco said hi to me it freeked me out too but she is really nice. But then thats how I met Cookie who is alittle more like me not as hyper as coco.
But it is Connor who is more like me, sure it took me till the lil tour him and me had for me to talk to him but once we did it was really nice.
I was still shy around him till we were walking to the tub but I was so happy that he was even talking to me.
But he didnt help my blushing y finding out that I am very tickleish (damn you coco)
and then it didnt help he sat next to me for the last 15 mins of class just talking to me, or when he hit my butt with a stick thingy.
Og I already like him.
When will I learn not to like my friends?
well its not going to help that we have most of our classes together either.
og I suck at this way to much, someone shoot me now.


                                                                                     Emiy aka pixie

damnit, I havent really talked to someone face to face in a long time. sure I did when my family but its not the same I miss my freind. And on I still dont know what school I am going to this year. and if I do get to go to the American school I am will taking all my classes in eng so my mom hates that. but come on I need to learn stuff in a lang I know. But at the same time I kinda want to go to the one I went to where all my friends are, sure we really never talk to each other but I still call them friends.
I am confused.

Oh my 16th birthday is coming up on the 21, but we really dont have money so I am most likely only going to get a new bag fpr school so not what i wanted nopt even close.
But I might get something like a teddie from Henri if I keep talking about one to him when I do talk to him.
My cousin might get me something from the Jpop and rock stre if I am lucky it will be Nightmare Before Christmas.
but hey I can hope that we will get money and it will nice for once not just another shitty one where I get a card from my sister and a cheep already falling apart school bag from my mom.

whatever I just need to forget its coming and then it might be better.

                                                                                                  Emily.

Ha at long last I got the guy Toni that I have liked from the first day of school to give me his e-mail. Okat my friends got his number for me so I texed him today at break and he gave it to me. A girl that he does not know or what girl in the school I am but still. I am so happy right now I cant stop smiling.

Grr I hate teast as of today, All day test here test there no time to take a break. I missed both a and b lunch then I had to come home to my puppy eating me and homeworck. I hav been feling bad all day so every time I get up from sitting I feel all dizzy and light headed. My mo says its from working hard yeah right. What ever I still need sleep and food.

Grrr I still have not had much sleep this week and my teacher did not help by popping a test on me today at all. i forgot how to do the math so now not only on mondayam I going to be doing testing so I can get into the school I want to go to next year but I have to take that test again. The teachers are really out to get me I just know it,Good stuff about today is that I talked to my friend for more then 10 minutes. YAY!!!! Now that I am home I can get some sleep after I take my puppy for a walk.

Today sucked ass, I got sick at school noone beleaved me though. even my friend the one who held my hair out of my face tryed to tell them but I have been missing to much schol for being so damn sick. Its not my fault the stuff the call "food" makes me sick. They are all just nazis thats what they are they can go fuck each other wait they already do that. They are just out to get me thats it.

Nothing is really hanning of late but hey what was I going to think its our spring break here. But I wish something would happen or that I could do something, but no I am here doing nothing just like right now. Sure I have friends but they never really talk to me outside of school only sometime they want to be seen with the schools emo girl. Whatever at least I get to play with my puppy and read my books right. Well maybe I might read I'm not to sure yet but I will be playing with Ramzy no duoght. God I need people to talk to the little vioce in my head is talking to me again.

I havent been getting much sleep,I keep waking up in the middle of the night for nothing. Then there is my puppy that will wake me up right after I fall back to sleep. I need more sleep if I fall asleep in class one more time I'll never get to have that interview for the American school.(I live in Finland if you did not know) I really need to get into that school but at the same time I really need some fucking sleep. AHHHHH!!!! what can I do?

Is it odd when you dream about someone in your class that you never given much thought about? And when you wake up you can feel where ever that person have touched you even if it was just something like a a hand shake? But if it is something more then a hand shake something likea kiss it leaves you gasping for air as you shoot up in bed. I'm confused as hell about it now.