thecupcakedealer's profile

Latest Journal Entry

April 30, 2008

I am- me

i am who i want to be-
it drives me crazy, when other people think it is their responisblity to say who i am. whether or not i am, preppy, gothic, hippie, scene, emo, skater, or jocky. why does it matter to you? my life is not your life. in that case you shouldnt even care. the only judgement you should be able to make or see, is that i am a female human being. also you might be lucky enough to see; i am strong, smart, wise, thoughtful, kind, and fun. other than that, you have no control. your opinion is just a thought, it has nothing to control- me.

now, in my opinion im an, okay person. i make mistakes, i say things i regret, i do things that may be wrong, but hey i am human. but aside of those flaws (that everyone else in the world has. unless you're a perfect robot) i can find some really strong features of myself.

for example. i love people. i except all people in the world. whether your tall, short, fat, skinny, white, black, famous, poor, 'smart', 'dumb', or even disabled. my dream is to be an art teacher for the disabled, or an art teacher for the deaf. i think all people are amazing. like myself, everyone has a wonderful feature.

also, im kind to the earth. im a vegitarian and dedicate every friday after school to my enviromental concil. i put a lot of hard work into saving the world. just yesterday i did a huge clean up on a street, that was extremely poluted. its horrible to see what people can do to the earth. im a tree hugger too. :) everything in the universe has feelings.

im a very kind person. im always there to listen when someone needs to talk. even when im in the worst possible mood, everrrr, i will still sit and listen. i tend to put others before myself. the way i look at it is, why bother crying my heart out? when there are others that need my help. im pretty good at telling advice, at least i've been told.

now, for a little back up information. i grew up with hippies. meaning, i was around drugs, tattoo parties, drinkers, bands (which my father was in. they would play music by the fire, concerts, at parties. i went to every performance. it was amazing) people wearing tyedye, sitting at the beach, bikers, everything! i would never in my life ask for different. i listen to oldies like, the beatles, eric clapton, jethro tull, jefferson airplane, led zepplin (and zepplica), and so much more. it is from the people i grew up with. they influenced me into doing a lot of things.

but thanks to them, i am a hippie kind of girl. 1) i love the earth. 2) i want world peace. 3) i listen to oldies/hippie music. 4) i wear hippie clothes. but one big thing, that i dont do, like everyone that are my idols do...

is drugs. i have never in my life did drugs, smoked a cig, or gotten drunk. (i've drank alcohol before. lol) im proud of my descision. considering both my mother and father almost died (several times) because of alcohol and drugs. they were both addicted to each drug. they would overdose and i would watch my mom and dad get taken away in an abulance. it was horrible. i love my mother and father more then life itself.

every decision i make, i know is the right one. im happy with the person i am. i am everything i've ever wanted to be. i never will allow anyone to change me or tell me different. i love who i am, who i'll always be. granted i live a fucked up life, i can make right decisions for myself. i know when im older, i'll be able to afford food, afford a car, afford to conquer my dreams. its ok if you come from a house like i do (we cant afford food and sometimes no heat) you can still be happy and live the life you were put on earth to do so.  

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