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April 13, 2008

4.7.08 My Grandpa finally passed away

We were suppossed to go see my grandpa last night one more time before he died but I was mad and said that I didn't wanna see him like that even though he can't see or hear me. Then it got to late and we couldn't go see him. I hate myself for this, I feel like the most spoiled, selfish, little bitch! and If my grandpa knew the reason I didn't go see him he'd think I was a little bitch too! But he wont know and he never will, because he past away this morning at six o clock. I pray for him and hope that he is looking down on this beautiful world and he see's the people that love him and are praying for him and crying for him because he is in all our hearts and souls and prayers. His funeral will be this coming weekend and then he'll be gone in the ground. I'm so sorry that I didn't go see him, and care more, but I really do love him, But I went to see him today and I kissed his forehead and his body was still warm, there was a smile on his face, he really honestly finally looked at complete peace, when I looked down at him I didn't believe that he was dead because he looked so happy and light. Then I held his hand for a little while and I felt him going cold, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and throw a fit and cry until my luns gave out and my eyes hurt to bad but I couldn't all I could do was sit down smile and hold his lifeless hand. When I went to say my last good bye to him I smiled and gave him one last kiss this time his body was no longer warm it was ice cold to the tuch and lifeless. That's the last time i'll ever see him, touch him, or kiss him. He was my grandpa the man who raised my dad and aunts and uncles, He's looked up to, cherished, and loved.


Rest.In.Paradise


_Sela


X[]X[]

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