i.am.the.sunshine's Journal

No limits. No boundaries. I see increase. All around me. Stretch forth. Break forth. Release me. Enlarge my territory. Just came back from my church Youth in Action. And I feel so pumped. Also had a little girl in my pantomine class that became obsessed with me.... In other news I'm finally getting my nappy head done today, praise the Lord....and.....um..thats..oh yeah! I recently posted my 100th poem. Woohoo! So overall I'm doing pretty much excelente.

Memories break through. Like entering a room. I try to catch my breath again. Lol. I just woke up yesterday morning and was enveloped in the warmest memory from way back in my childhood. In the house before we moved there was a big huge back porch with lots of open air and space. Me and my cousins used to go back there and "cook". Meaning we'd take a little bit of everything out of the refridgerator, some grass, some sand and mix it all together in a bowl. Being the little daredevil that I was they sometimes dared me to taste those concoctions. Funny how I can't remember if I was ever that crazy or not. LOL. Now on to the real subject matter which is as you guessed from the title Naruto one-shots! Take the poll plz for better information. But anywayz most people, well the few people that voted would like a Kakashi one-shot the most and secondly a kakasaku one shot. Well, guess what, guys? I already made a Kakashi one shot! Because he's my favorite character so thats already done. Meaning if you're interested in it please feel free to go and check it out. The one shot is rated M for brief references to drugs/alcohol...and I don't know why else. The thing wouldn't let me rate it otherwise. *huge shrug of defeat* So go. Read. If you don't I won't know. So I won't hunt you down in the dark of night with super ninja skills and no mercy or anything like that.....Lol. Anywayz...KakaSaku. As much as I hate that couple its really popular......um...its just disgusting guys. He's pushing thirty she's not even a teenager yet. Come on who thinks of this kind of stuff. But as much as I hate to admit it, the customers are always right. SO if you want a KakaSaku *throws up in mouth a little bit* You can have it. I'm working on it so be patient. I also have an Anko one shot. Another one of my fav characters from the series. So...um...yeah

Happy new year to everybody! The new year is finally on its way. Tomorrow we'll be living in 08. Wow. I graduate in one more year. 07 has been really tough on my family, but in 08 we're gonna do much better. Live in prosperity. My only new year's resolution is to get closer to GOD. Try to live my life so that its Holy and acceptable. It's going to be hard for someone like me. But now that I've made up my mind....I have to work at it. But hopefully I'll get there. I just don't want to die and let it be too late. You never know.....for all of you out there with your new year's resolutions hope you make them. Hope you have a great one. Spend the last few hours of 07 well. Happy new year!

I feel really accomplished. I just posted up my kakashi one shot,and I am so happy with the way that it came out! I don't really post up most fan fiction, but I really like that one. Enough to try my hand at more one shots. I'm doing a sasuke one next. Anyone with requests feel free, but only if you read my kakashi one first. Mwahahaha*evil laugh and maniacal gleam in eye*. I hope my kakashi one shot gets as much publicity as my naruto i-pods quiz did!

Ugh...the day I've been dreading. I have day surgery tomorrow! I'm so freaking worried. It wouldn't be that bad, but I had a HUGE phobia of needles, and they're going to put me to sleep with an IV. I already know I'm going to freak out. When I go to the doctor to get shots they have to hold me down. Thats how scared I am. It seems really silly for a girl my age to be scared like that I know. But I can't help it. The doctor is going to give me laughing gas before hand, though so I'll be really loopy when they're giving me the IV. Supposedly......

So I just feel all....blah blah bubbly. Lol. If you are chilly here take my sweater. Cuz I love the way you call me baby. Aww...I don't know. I feel like....*huge exhale*. So I'm just going to babble on about random stuff. First off, after some careful self examination I've come to this discovery about myself. I have five favorite scents. In no particular order here, but 1) Coffee-it smells so...warm and calming, like Christmas day in front of the fireplace. 2) New car- it's so clean and new and ahhh. 3) Bookstore- I know weird right? But whenever I walk into a good bookstore like Barnes and Nobles I find myself taking very deep air sucking in breaths. 3)Lavender- It smells so sexy and feminine. Someone got me a lavender scented bodywash set for my birthday and I can't stop wearing it. 5) Citrus-oranges and tangerines smell so delicious. I don't know, may'be I'm weird like that. Does anybody else make lists about themselves? Anyway in other news.....oh yeah the response that I've been getting to the Naruto i-pod's quiz is amazing. It started off as a spontaneous idea that I wasn't even going to go through with and ended up being a cult favorite. Okay may'be thats a little extreme, but I'm really excited about all the feedback that I've been getting. Most if not all of it is positive. It really makes me feel like I'm not just sitting in front of the computer wasting my time. And also really humbling, I never thought one of MY quizzes would hit the top spot on the Most Popular. LOL I'm so giddy. Um...I'm thinking of making an update, so if anybody would like to request songs to add or characters to add just let me know and I'll see what I can do. Huh. *big exhale*

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Finally its my big birthday. My SWEET SIXTEENTH! I have no idea what presents I'm going to get, but I sincerely hope I like them. We're going out to eat at RED LOBSTER! I don't even know what kind of cake I'm getting. But I'm so excited! I'm finally finally finally SIXTEEN! YIPPEEEEE! Man I'm getting old.

I just finished putting up my Shinobi of Naruto quiz. I'm mentally exhausted meaning I'm going to go pig out on useless junk food and burn brain cells gawking at TV for endless hours in a few seconds, but I finally got it finished. I mean finished to my satisfaction I'm actually pretty happy with the way it turned out. I hope it gets as popular as my Naruto Couples and Themesongs quiz did. That was a surprise hit.And the Kunoichi of Naruto quiz is floating along too. Ugh. *superbig sigh/yawn thingy*. Umm..in the world outside my offices I am starting on my 11th grade science fair project which involves me working out three days a week at the Y (we're trying to determine which method dieting, working out, or walking miles helps you lose weight the fastest, don't steal my idea!) I have no problem with that I actually love working out except for the fact that I was trotting up the stairs to the track in the gym on Friday I guess thinking I was some sort of prize race horse or something and fell up the stairs though. I did a sneaky fall though. I fell and got my butt up so quickly that if you would've blinked you would've never known I fell. Lol. I don't think anyone saw me. Keyword is Think. Um...oh yeah my birthday is Thursday! And not just any birthday but my SWEET SIXTEEN WHOOPPEEEE! I'm throwing a partay in a reserved room at Planet Xtreme with a talent show in my honor(I'll be the queen Talent Judge with a dollar store Tiara on my head) and its gonna be a whole bunch of fun. In the meantime I also have to study for my part in the local Christmas play production at the church. I have one of the major roles. That thang goes down December 16th...Ugh all this work is about to make my explode combustibly. Sunshine signing off.

Ever laugh so hard you cry and can't stop. Yesterday was just like that. All day! I don't know.I guess it was something about all that scrumptious food(long live sweet potato pie). Everybody was just in a good mood! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving like I did. There's so much to be thankful for. For all of us it could always be a little bit worse. There is always something you have that someone doesn't have. And we always take those things for granted. We should all be a little more thankful everyday.

From the title you can probably guess that life has been muy buena to me. And yeah and I pretty much think I deserve a little bit of sunshine. After all the storm clouds were hanging over my head for quite a long time. I was starting to get scared and frustrated and all the other things you get when life doesn't exactly go the way you planned it. But the good vibes are really starting to roll in. Especially considering I made honor roll on my report. To some that doesn't seem really big, but to me it is. Good grades translates into good money in my family which translates into good time. Don't get the notion that we're rich or anything, because we're actually far from it. But my mom does the best to make sure I get everything I need report card money included. There's never been a time when rewards for my report card haven't come eventually. No matter how long it takes. I know we're destined for poverty if that ever changes. On top of that I have pretty much nothing else to say. Well plenty to say, but no way of getting it all out here. So just to leave on a positive note =)

Yeah so today was finally a good day in an I can't wait til I get home so I can blog this on quizilla kind of way. Yeah basically its become an addiction right now. And I'm feeling very verbose so here goes. There was plenty of little mishaps today, but over all I'm feeling buzzed with goodness so we're going to weed out the bad parts. And there is plenty of juiciness to talk about. An illustrious love triangle brewing in my distant future. But before I get to all of that, just some basic stuff I thought I'd add. Um...I've already said I'm a sagittarius(finally spelled it right) and yeah we Sags are bright and happy and adventurous, but there are some negative points to our allure. Like for one I'm pretty lazy and also the most unorganized person I know. When I was little someone calling me lazy to my face was the biggest insult ever, but I've actually come to terms with the fact that I am in quite lazy. Thats just a part of who I am. *shrug* But anyway I'm way more unorganized than I am lazy so I totally surprised myself when I got the impulse to sit down make a to do list. I had all this stuff bubbling around in my head and actually felt like organizing it into one solid bubble. Just in case you care: To Do 1. Quizilla.com-check messages&ratings on quizzes, journal(like I said I can't get enough of quizilla now. The whole idea of everything you can do here is really amazing) 2. Look up hedonistic(I saw it somewhere...can't quite recall, but I looked it up already and it means seeking a life of pleasure) 3.Type "Angelboy"(the new book I'm working on. I have a series of four books"Butterfly" "Veins" "Caged" "Ashes" already completed that I'm going to be publishing sometime in the 2008-2009 era so watch out for those. And yes I seriously am going to be publishing them) 4. Jostens.com, ring. (I'm going to be ordering my class ring. Yes I'm a junior in highschool at 15. I skipped second grade no big deal. I'm not super excited about the ring thing, its basically a big fat waste of money for the most part. But tradition is tradition. And everyone else is doing it. *hehehe* That excuse always works) 5.America's Next Top Model(thats my tv addiction I cannot miss tonight's episode) So with all of that said and done, and now that you pretty much know what I'm going to be up to, there's this little thing about the love triangle that I had to get out. My very first ex (lets call him A) just got switched into my 1st period class. We do not get along. We had a rocky one sided relationship. He was just in it for the physical stuff and now we fight all the time. He gives me the evil eye in the hallways and sometimes even checks me out and still asks for hugs now and then, but there is no way on Earth, Air or Sea that I am even giving him the time of day. How am I supposed to ignore him all first period though? Me and my forbidden lover sort of (the one with the girlfriend we'll call him M) are getting closer. I forgot my book in lit class and we sat side by side and shared his in between having silent tickle and poke fights, while my other ex (the one I still kind of like who still kind of likes me I think we'll say he's N) just totally withdrew away from me like I was doing something wrong. ??? Now I'm totally stuck in the middle. Three different problems three different guys A M and N. *heavy sigh* Isn't it exciting? Tiring but still exciting. Would be even more so if it was someone else's problem.

Today started off as a good day. In fact things were going great. Until sixth period hit and my most infamous teacher for reasons we will not discuss dropped a bombshell of a shocker. She passed back out graded Scrapbooks(a medical article thing we had to put together with 50 articles and summaries) and mine had a 70 written on it in big fat red numbers. A 70 which will go down as two test grades. A 70 on a project that I stayed up til two o clock in the morning working on. I even typed my summaries and someone who handwrote theirs got a 90 while I got an extra five points off for Neatness. Hello?! Hand written versus typed which one sounds neater to you?! To make matters worse she told my mom that I was slipping after school and I had them both jumping down my throat, which gave me a massive headache(I get those sometimes when I'm really stressed) To make it worse as soon as we got home a conversation about our new car between my mom and dad escalated into WORLD WAR III( which escalated my massive headache into a migraine!) Then we had to go to church for choir rehearsal and my mom was all smiles and hugs like nothing was happening at home. I just hope tomorrow is going to be a whole lot better than today and I'm praying to GOD that my report card comes out smelling like roses. I'd really love to sit down and be able to type something that sounds even remotely happy for you to read. I hate to come across as such a negative person who has nothing but negative things to talk about. But this journal is about the here and now and there's just a whole bunch of negativity in my here and now. Of course I could just make up some happy happy stuff. But that wouldn't be fair to anybody. Most especially myself.

Pretty much just worn out. Tired. Exhausted. And all around yucky. Like i just want to take a year round nap or just curl with twelve thousand bags of chips five cartons of ice cream and twenty five kajillion snicker bars in front of a America's Next Top Model marathon. Ever get that feeling? I think its school. I go to ARJohnson which is a magnet school and all the pressure can really start to weigh on you.I feel totally relieved when one grading period ends. I can stop stressing about getting grades together and just be satisfied with whats done is done. Which is also the motto of my love life right now. Torn in between two guys one my ex the other not who seem to be sending me signals for the most part. The dating game is alot like the mating huh? (ha, corny or what) One guy is my ex whom I still happen to have feelings for. And another guy is someone who has a crush on me (and the feeling is mutual) but already has a girlfriend. To preserve the reputation of these anonymous folk in your mind I won't go into any of the dirty details but things get complicated. It seemed like in middle school when I had braces and no shape I was always the odd one out. Now guys tell me to my face that I'm pretty and I'm getting all this attention. I don't know how to handle it, nor am I sure that I even like it. I mean its unsettling a little bit to think about. I look in the mirror and don't see at all what they're talking about. I could use more than a little help. But off of that subject. Another reason why I'm so tired is because I went jogging around the block with my baby girl. She's four years old like I said. A lab and chow mix. Beautiful black fur and hazel eyes like her mommie. I love her like she's my child thats why I call her my baby. Her name's Diamond. She had a twin sister, my other baby but our family has been under attack lately. On the fourth of October Diamond's twin sister Jasmine died of liver cancer and on the eighth my grandfather died of the same thing. I can't believe I'm crying now, but I still can't get over it. Even when you see someone going down hill and you have to take of them like they're children. Even when they stop responding and they start hallucinating. Even when you wake up and the ambulance is coming down the hill and your parents are rushing you out of the house so you won't have to see it its hard to...get used to the idea that someone who has lived with you, been with you and guided you for the past 16 yrs of your life is gone forever. My grandfather was in so much pain that he was crying out, both him and my baby were when they died. I just wish I could've done something......MORE