hippiecolor's Journal

no more dilemma...broke up with the bf...so now i can do whatever and whom ever i please...YAY!!! although from time to time i do think about him and am sad...specially when hes not online to talk to...

so ive decided that the only way i can write this is somewhere where neither my ex or my current bf can read it...my ex and i are really good friend...we dont get to hang out much, so when i get the chance i take it...most of the time my bf doesnt know im hanging out with the ex till after the fact and when my bf is around when my ex it, i dont get to talk to the ex much...it gets really frustrating...i dont want to ignore my bf but sometimes it happens...plus when my bf is around me and my friends, i tend to act not like myself, or so my friends say...i dont know why but it just happens and i dont like it...i want to be able to act like me all the time, not just some of the time...so the dilemma is whether or not i want to keep dating my bf or dump him...in the past few months he has been making it somewhat easier to dump him...he keeps treating me like a child and he lectures me...we fight about the littles things and he just frustrates me...my sister doesnt like him because of the age difference and says i should dump him...most of my friends say dump him and some of the people i work with say dump him...one of the guys at work would be happy if i did cause then he could ask me out...not that i would say yes to him because hes really not my type and i kinda have a thing for my ex...imagine that...my ex is spontaneous and random...im never bored when im around him and i have a lot of fun, unlike with my bf...the only reason why he broke up with me was because i was going away for the summer to work at a camp and he couldnt handle not getting any for 13 weeks, so he dumped me...he got a crush on this girl over the summer and we didnt get back together when the semester started again...the funny thing about it is that now that hes not dating the chick, he hates her and sees everything that me and his friends had been trying to tell him for the 8 months he dated her...so yeah where was i...oh yeah my dilemma...im going on vacation with my family next week and the bf is coming too...ive decided that it nothing changes during that week, then im gunna dump him...i think hes the only one that doesnt know im on the brink of dumping him