dontbetojealous's Journal

My life sucks. I'm that kid who keeps the family together. I do as I am asked, I have two jobs, I rarely ever get in trouble, I babysit my younger brother for free and put up with his Oh and the best part ismy 16th birthday is only three days away and just wait till you hear what my mom said.Coming home from school today shesaid that shecan't buy me anything at all for my birthday since she doesn't have enough money yet 6 months ago she was able to buy herself (with my fathers money) a brand new $25,000 car. She doesn't even work but a mere 5 months of the year where as I work 12 months of the year. As it is I buy everything for my self anyways what do I need to start buying my ownbirthday presents.Allmy momdoes is complain to, her life is so hard all she does is sit home all day clean a little bit, garden some and then go to work 4-10 and come home. I can't stand it anymore. I step out of line and she flips out. My friends aren't very good at consoling me about things at all, I have just stopped talking to them about things that go on in my life hell I am inferior to them so let them talk away and I'll just listen and console them while inside my head I am thinking up ways to kill myself, and it feels like bombs going off in my head. And no one start in on how suicide is selfish because a)not whenpeoplearound have been selfish all your life and b)I don't think anyone would care maybe for a month but then it'd be like I hadnever existed in the first place. Hell my mom would probably deny i was ever her kid.My mom and my friends are the reasons I began cutting, I haven't cut for over 6 months and I am going to try and keep it that way but I don't know how much stronger I can be. I can't wait till I am 18 and away from this place since I probably won't be moving though my mom still thinks we will be, but she has to actually try to make the house look nice to sell. I wish I had someone who I could fully depend on and tell everything to, but I don't my dad I can tell most things to but theres just alot of stuff that gets left unsaid. I just need a break from life but you can't do that, there is only one break you can take and that is said to be an eternal vacation. I don't think I am just ready for that though I need to be 18 I need to be able to be free. I need to be able to do what I want to do and not me goverened by a stupid 2 more years and I am gone. I will go and I will attempt to be free. I wish I could leave right now, that is what I need to leave right now just get out of this place.

Why can't the old quizilla be back. That one was so much better and had been around since before I came on here in 2003. This new one is totally and utterly confusing.

My life has gone extremely down hill. I still like the same guy (pathetic that I do),  I hang out with the same asssholes, I help fix my 'friends' hearts (as I always have) but when it comes to my 'friends' helping me..... Yeah that doesn't happen. I had severe anxiety issues lately that were the result of a kind of stalkerish guy wanting to fucck me and he was 19 which is a little old for me. He was sketchy and shiit and thats why I had the resurrfaceing anxiety problems. Well I try to talk to my 'best friend' about it but she doesn't even let me say anything about me cause it is all about her (always has been) and how she 'can never get a good guy'. Its not that she can't get a good guy its the fuccking thing that she won't go for the good guys. Shes a fuccking shallow, tight wad, assshole, concieted, biitch who can't think of anything except herself. And now shes all over this like 30 year old. It's disgusting. And she is probably going to fucck the guy that I have been head over heels for, for 2 almost 3 years.
I never have anyone to vent to and all my 'friends' do is vent to me. I am so freaking happy that I am going to be moving soon get away from my 300 person school (only 80 people in my class) and go to a new school where maybe people won't be so biitchy and judge so harsh.
I hate when people complain, but I had to tonight, I had to about atleast one thing cause theres to much bottled up. I could probably complain for 3 hours a new thing each minute but that would be utterly pathetic.
Who else hates life?

Ughhhhhh
I hate being sick, Sickness should die and go to hell. Seriously I just got through having some serious ass problems with anxiety and shiit. Docs put me on some medicenes then like a week later my throat and ears start hurting, my nose gets stuffed up and my eyes get all fuccked up. So now I am sick, well on my spring break. How fuccking fortunate am I? Seriously this fuccking sucks. And the worst part is I get reallly biitchy when my nose gets so stuffed up I can't breath, because that means I have to breath out of my mouth which I rarely ever do. And since I have to breath out of my mouth I won't be getting to sleep for a super long time UGHHHH GRRRR. And this week was supposed to be full of fun and partying.

I am sick, and i have a sprained ankle. I am babysitting my brother well my sister is off to a college viewing thing with my mom and dad. dammnit

Well I was skipping down the stairs to the lunchroom and I missed a step and sprained my ankle. Which sucks so now I am stuck on the couch. They think I might have cracked the growth plate and if that is so then it means surgery.

Just send me the link to your stories, or post it in a comment or something and i will read it. Preferably stories about
~Brendon Urie
~Sonny Moore
~Pete Wentz
~Ryan Ross
~Mikey Way
~Shaant Hacikyan
~William Beckett
~Adam Siska
or stories about these bands
~Kill Hannah
~Cute Is What We Aim For
~Fall Out Boy
~Panic! At The Disco
~ From first To Last
~ The Academy Is...
~Boys Like Girls
~Escape The Fate
But I will read most stories unnless they are about Harry Potter or Anime ( i love actual anime just i dont like the anime stories on here)