chibichick01's Journal

It's no longer of any use to try and fall out of love. I'm so deep, there's no use trying to stop it. It's like, everytime he touches me, my entire body feels like its on fire. He's the next best thing to Heaven. And I feel as if I can't live without him. Being away is like someone dropped meinto a well, and I can't get out. I just want him to hold me, like he always does. Every fiber of my being wants-- no NEEDS be with him, and I might die if I'm not. All of my thoughts are choking on him.

I just need him to hold my hand, to hold me, and make everything alright. I swear to Jashin, he's everything I've ever wanted. He's perfect. And now I see why he says he can't be with me.

If we were, it would be a fairy tale relationship. Until one of us dumped the other. And one of us would be entirely devastated. He's literally thinking of me, which no other guy has done for me. He doesn't want to hurt me, even if saying that we'd never be together is hurting me like lying on a bed of a thousand needles. Once our relationship ended, I'd die a million deaths. I'd feel as if someone laid my heart out on a table andbeat it with a sledgehammer.My heart would become dead. I would be barely alive. I wouldn't have any motivation to live.

But for now, we remain friends. Maybe a step above that, but not dating. My heart still longs for him, every part of him.

Okay people, for those who read my other journal about that guy I'm on love with...he doesn't love me back. My heart hurts and I have no ideahow to get over him. So how do you fall back out of love? I know it's not easy, but I really need to get over him. The thing is, he still likes his ex-girlfriend. He hasn't admitted it, but everyone can tell he does. And now everytime I think about him, I think of the quote, I'm better off without you, but I can't let go. And I don't want to let go. To me, it's like I've fallen for an angel. An angel on earth in human form. That's how perfect he is to me. I feel as if he knows everything about me, and he can see it all with his wonderful brown eyes. I can tell I'm okay, and he knows it's a lie, and he'll hug me. Right when I needed it most. He'll make me laugh, when I don't even want to smile and just want to die. He's perfect, just for me. He just can't see it, and I don't think he cares to. Everyone talks about how "bad" he is, but I can't see it. I'll never love anyone like I've loved him. Ever.

And now I don't want to write anymore, but be on the lookout for updates on this.

I'M STARTING A NEW STORY!!!!! YAY!!!! IT'S GONNA BE KANKURO, SO WAIT FOR IT TO COME OUT SOON!!! YAH!!!!

Yay!!!! I gotted mah internet back!! But just you guys wait, it'll be theived from meh again...T-T

I guess now Chibi Neko gives updates:

Dumped mah boyfriend. He didn't care. So in turn, I don't care.

How do you know when you're in love? And if you are, how do you tell the person? Ya see, I'm in love (at least I think I am) with mah best guy friend, Will. I think he knows, it's kinda obvious, from all the flirting we've been exchanging...>.> Mah bud Kaela asked him if he'd ever go out with me. He said no. Because he doesn't want to ruin our friendship. But it still hurts.

I'm being extremely inconsiderate. I've been forcing mah emotions on Will, but how is he supposed to take it? I think it's totally selfish for him to just accept that I like him...

I bit mah friend Zachary. He had it coming. This is why you don't wave your fingers in front of a neko's face, knowing very well she'll snap at it. He told me that he was going to buy a water gun and shoot me in the face whenever I start to act like a "bad neko." Hmmm....

I think that's all for now...arigatou!!!

P.S.
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!!!! ^-^

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHIBI NEKO-CHAN IS FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! QUIZILLA HAS CHANGED, AND I AM CONFUSED TO THE UTTER MAXIMUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T FIGURE ANYTHING OUT!!!!!!!! T~T

Help? *chibi eyes*

I'll eventually figure everything out...eventually...but as of right now....confused...and.Freaking.Out.

That is all!

Arigatou for putting up with meh!!!!!

Gomen to anyone who thought I may have been in a dire situation or something...

*looks at title* Only I would do that....only I...

Okies, people. As a lot of mah friends already know, mah parents took the internet off mah computer, and as a result, I have to use the library's computers or sneak and get on mah parents laptops....>.> Don't tell them I said that. I guess now I'll just say what's been going on in life....

Have a boyfriend. Buts I iz dumpin' him cuz I don't be likin' him no more. 'Cept I can't do it, it hurts me too much to hurt someone else's feelings...how do I always get into these bad situations...?^-^'

Mother of Jashin, school is a drag. Mah ma constantly checks mah grades online, so she found out that I had a D+ in World Civ.....boy was I in some deep doo-doo...and even though I'm not a senior, I'm suffering from major senior-itis. For those of us not in high school, "senior-itis" is a disease you get usually after spring break and you really don't feel like doing anything in school....and your grades may drop. (Not really a disease, but it sounds more fun when you put it like that, ne?)

Mah pa hid all the lighters from meh!!!!! T-T I was caught burning things....again....-_-; He called me a pyromaniac and hid them somewhere......now I have to settle for throwing knives again...yes, I iz demented, I know. And, yes, I suffer from pyromania. But is it really suffering if I enjoy it?????? O.o

My ADD is out of control. For those who haven't heard, I'm an undiagnosed ADD kid!!! My friend told me I was messed up....cuz I have allergies, asthma, ADD, OCD (both undiagnosed, mah parents say I don't need anymore medicine than I already have >.>), and now I'm pyromaniacal....

Today was National Day of Silence!!!!! Well, I don't really know if it went national, but we do it every year at mah school....my friends all said I couldn't do it....BUT I DID!!!!!!! Now I proud of mahselfz!!!! ^-^

Still trying to learn Japanese....mah stoopid school doesn't offer it...only Spanish, French, and German....German is an angry language. My friend at school who takes it said something to meh like "What's your name? Nice to meet you!" and I was like: "I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT, IT'S NOT MAH FAULT, DO YOU NEED TO SEE A COUNSELOR, WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY AT MEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" They just gave meh the "WTF???" look....I get it a lot, so don't worreh!!!

And lastly (I wonder if people are still reading this....probably not. I mean, I would have stopped waaaaay back!! But that's just meh. who knows, people iz---okay, lemme stop ramblin')

I'm gonna make another Quizilla account!!! Yah!!! No worrehz, I'll probably use this one more anyway...the username will be somethin' like: Chibi-Neko-Chan or somethin' of the sort. So be lookin' fer meh!!!! I'll probably get around to it in a couple of weeks...'cause I don't feel like it now. Yah, I said it. Don't feel like it!!

Okies, now I iz done, arigatou gozaimasu!!!!!!!!! ^-^

Well...SPRING BREAK IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!! YAYZ!!! Now I can actually work on my Gaara story (as if there's anyone who acutally reads it...) and on my new Deidara story. W00t! ^-^ Anyway, I now am extremely bored and have nothing to do. So I think I'll go and work on the next part to the Deidara story, un. >< *Sighs*

If there is anyone who actually reads the Gaara story, tell me and I'll start working on it again!!! But if not (which means it's really bad), I'll just work on other things. And Deidara's story will probably be another failure...;_;

Anyway...

SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A WEEK OF NO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! YAYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!



~Taylor Aka:  Chibi-chan~

YAYZ!!!!! The first part to my story is finally done!!!!! It took such a long time to finish...T-T But I want everyone to go check it out!!!! I was inspired by mah bud, XxX-BelievexInxMe-XxX!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE INSPIRATION, HIMAWARI!!!!!!!!! XD

so i have 2 pairs of glasses. got that? 2. and both pair are broken. my sister stepped on one pair and i rolled over the other pair while i was sleeping (how they got onto my bed, i dont know). but it really kinda sucks, because if they dont get fixed before winter break is over, i'll either be walking around school with broken glasses, or i'll be walking around half-blind. and i dont know what to do, and it's mind-boggling how both pairs of my glasses broke in 2 days!!!!!!

merry/happy chrismahannakwanzaakah everyone!!! even though i celebrate christmas, i know other people dont, so i'm wishing everyone a "happy-whatever-you-celebrate!!!!!"