Please please please everyone read my journal to find out my i havnt been updating my story. Its IMPORTANT!!! Oh and if you add me as a friend please message me and i will add you back :)
Latest Journal Entry
July 28, 2008
Hi everyone who chose to read this. I feel so alone and this is why..... I was 15 when i met this boy and had a relationshiop with him. Ofcourse i didnt think it would last but its always nice to have someone there. Months went by when my feelings grew stronger. he was the best boyfriend i had ever had. he changed me completely as a person and i changed him to for the better. things grew more serious and so did my feelings. Soon i realsied that i actually loved this person, no not puppy love. I had been going out with this guy for just over 2 years, we shared everything together because relationship dont really have secrets. The other day i went to see him because i had been working alot and never really got the break he deserved. When i finally got there he took me for a walk and thats when i told me. He told me that he wanted a break from a relationship. he said he didnt know how he felt about me anymore. he said he stills loves me to pieces but its jsut not the same as it used to be. I was so unprepared that all i wanted to do so run away, wake up from this nightmare. He tried to calm me dwon but nothing worked. I just couldnt believe my ears. I took off for about 2 hours trying to calm myself but nothing worked. I was feeling physically sick and my mind just wouldnt stop thinking about things. I cried my eyes out for ages. I finally went back to see him but nothing had changed. I just wanted him to tell me he didnt mean and things could go back to the way they were but it didnt. I still wants to be friends because he still wants me in his life but he doesnt understand how i cant do that. How can i be friends with someone that i still trully love with all my heart and soul. I told him i needed space apart. He wants me to move on, not to anothet guy but to forget how i feel. He said it could work againone day but not to get my hopes up about it. How can i just forget about him, he was my first love and i trully thought he would be my last. Im so depressed its unreal. Iv never felt this type of pain before and although my family and friends are there for me i dont think none of them really understand what im going through because my friends have never been in a serious reltionship before so they dont know what im going throughor the pain and torture im feeling. I just want to know if anyone else has felt like this before and know what im talking about and maybe tell me how you pulled through this or some advise on how to pass the time by. I just dont know what to do with myself anymore, time drags by knwoing im not seeing him anymore. My mind knows its over and i have to accept that but he still holds my heart and its split in 2. maybe some of you could tell me your experience and tell me how you felt and what you done to pass the time and maybe how you are doing now. I know im not alone on this and thats why i want to hear from people because i dont want to feel like im the only one this has happened to. I think it would help me if i knew these things and i shared this expereince with so many people. Please reply to this either in the journal post or simply message me with thoughts, advice etc. Thanks soooo much for reading. I really appreicate people who take there time to listen to my problems and to know im not alone in this. Thanks and look forward to hearing from you all :)
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