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July 8, 2007

What I've decided to give up...

Hey...

To day I decided to give up talking, so maybe that way I won't fight with my parents as much. It started out to do about my parents but it soon became a challenge for my body to overcome, now it's a test of my will power. I'm going to see how long it takes me 'till I talk, so far I haven't spoken a word to anyone(not even myself) in eight hours. I've noticed it's taken a huge effect on how I think, I've noticed a lot of details in the world that I had never noticed before. It's amazing how I thought I knew the world but now I see that I've missed a lot. In my mind it's like a huge story book of everything I see, it's weird but amazing. At fist I was getting an odd feeling in my stomach like I ate something overly rotten... I was staying the night with a friend, Samantha, I call her Sami or Shmami most of the time. And it was very easy since no one there expected me to talk, they didn't really care, but it feels like Sami's mom loves me more than my own mother loves me but that's not very hard to believe.. But something that never left my mind was how would my parents take this sudden silents from the child that they yell with all the time. Well, I finally got to witness it. My mom laughed and told me to get in the car, she waited for my "smart-ass" come back as I usually give her but she was surprised to hear nothing coming out of my mouth. I decided to write down a request for my mom to drive to the wal-mart so I can buy a note-book. Mine was running out of paper. She instantly said "No" and drove on. I looked at her funny and she began to tell me why... I simply looked out the window and completely ignored every word she said. After I came home my dad didn't seem to notice but as soon as we sat at the dinner table and I wasn't making "Smart-ass" comments about his "old" age, he began to talk. He asked me why I wasn't talking to anyone, I didn't say a word and continued eating the food on my plate. Something my mom actually cooked, the meat was overly salty but I decided not to tell her, I didn't want to make her angry and start yelling at me, I knew it was going to lead me to my room with no dinner or a big fat "Deal with it". My mom explained how I wasn't talking, but she got the details all wrong even though I wrote all about it and gave the paper to her. I'm guessing she didn't even read it.. >.> That's just like her. So, like he always does, my father made a "smart-ass" comment about how me not talking was the best thing that ever happened to this family. I glanced up at him but just as quickly looked back at my plate, picking at the (so called) food that was set in front of me. I knew he was surprised that I hadn't jumped out of my seat and began yelling at him or a least make another "smart-ass" comment. But I quickly (not willingly) ate the food and put my dirty plate in the sink. I felt kinda empty without yelling at my parents, but I'm sure this is for the best. I guess we'll find out when I crack later...

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