Wear me like a locket around your throaght I'll weigh you down I'll watch you choke.
Latest Journal Entry
February 3, 2008
Its so stupid, all I want is someone who will alwayse be there for me. Someone who I can alwayse talk to no matter what.
I don't have anyone... and I'm afraid I never will. No one "likes" me. And, so I'll be alone this valentines day, just like all the others. I wont get a card or candy... not even those little chewy heart things that say stuff like "Love" and " Hug me" ... I used to love those...
But nope. And... I don't care about having a boyfriend as much as I just want a friend I can count on. I'm sick of feeling like this. I think I have depression, I'm sad and depressed and lonely all the time. And it hurts, not just emotionally but I accually feel it. I'm constaltly wanting to cry... well not constantly... I have moments when I'm accually happy but its only about 30% of my time. The rest I'm... like this...
And I'm sitting here and I'm wondering, whats wrong with me?What about me is so horrible that guys don't like me? Sure I'm friends with guys but thats all they see me as. And sometimes, I wish I was something more to someone. Ya know?
I wasnt alwayse depressed. But I've been single for 10 months now and its starting to get to me. My last relationship was a wreck. The guy was abusive and I don't know why I stayed with him so long. And it took me a long time to get over it. And while I was getting over it alot of guys liked me. And now that I accually am ready for someone to like me no one does.
I don't want to sound like one of those girls whoes obsessed with guys. I don't want to sound like I'm dependant on them. Cause I'm not. I just feel like if I had someone I'd be happy again... I dunno... maybe I'm wrong but, I wanna try...
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