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July 15, 2006

I feel really bad

I cant believe it. My bf wanted to go to the fillipines next year to see if he could find his fathers side of the family. I got really upset bcoz he was going 2 b gone 4 2 months n i dont think i could stand being away from him for that long. i could go along with him next year but im only going to be 17 and mum wont sign my passport so i have to wait until im 18 if i want to leave Australia. So i told Markus (my bf) all this and told him that he couldnt possibly leave without me n he started joking around saying well technically he could but i was really upset because my mum has no reason for not letting me go n here he was just joking abt it. So he sed that he would go the year afta wen i turned 18. But i feel really selfish because he is trying 2 find a part of his life and im sitting here saying that he cant go because i cant. so i sed sorry and that i shouldnt tell him what 2 do and that he can go weneva he wants but he sed (this is all on msn by the way) "yea i kno but i been thinkin about it and yea i want you 2 come along so yea IF i find any family on my dads syd i want you to be there with me" and i sed "but its got nuthin 2 do with me" and he sed "baby ur my gf so its got at least sumthin to do with you ur part of my lyf and i want u there wen another part of my lyf starts" so i asked him wat he would do if i couldnt go because i have skool and everything because i decided 2 do year 13 to make it easier on me and he sed "yea well if u can i would be glad to take u along with me if u cant i will miss you dearly or i wont go until u can" Im so glad i found him i dont think ill ever be abl 2 live without him if it wasnt for him i would b lost definitely. thnx 4 listening or reading wateva. ttys i hope. ingatz.

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