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July 30, 2007

Scared to Death

I'm so scared. I have a lump on my arm that won't go away. It's really small, about the size of a pea, but it still really concerns me. It's right under the skin. I don't know what it is. It feels exactly what my cat's cancerous tumor felt like when it started, and we had to put her down last November. I noticed it about a week ago and my mom (she's a nurse at Crouse Hospital) says that it probably isn't what I think it is and it'll be gone in a couple of days. It's not gone yet. It bothers me, not being able to know what it is and not having my mom care very much about it. I haven't really thought about it the last two days, but I was listening to the radio and flipping through stations and I got to a country station and it was playing "Skin" by Rascal Flatts. They're one of my favorite bands, but I haven't heard that song in about a year. I don't know if anyone has heard it before, but it's really sad. I was bawling my eyes out because it could possibly be me someday. Here are the lyrics if you want to read them: Sarah Beth is scared to death To hear what the doctor will say She hasn't been well Since the day that she fell And the bruises just won't go away So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad Flips through an old magazine Till a the nurse with a smile Stands at the door And says will you please come with me Sarah Beth is scared to death Cause the doctor just told her the news Between the red cells and white Something's not right But we're gonna take care of you Six chances in ten it won't come back again With the therapy were gonna try It's just been approved It's the strongest there is I think we caught it in time Sarah Beth closes her eyes She dreams she's dancing Around and around without any cares And her very first love is holding her close And the soft wind in blowing her hair Sarah Beth is scared to death As she sits holding her mom Says it would be a mistake For someone to take A girl with no hair to the prom Oh, just this morning right there on her pillow Was the coolest of any surprise And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands The proof that she couldn't deny Sarah Beth closes her eyes She dreams she's dancing Around and around without any cares And her very first love is holding her close And the soft wind is blowing her hair It's a quarter to 7 That boy's at the door Her daddy ushers him in And when he takes off his cap They all start to cry Cuz this morning where his hair had been Softly she touches just skin They go dancing Around and around without any cares And her very first true love is holding her close And for a moment she isn't scared

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