Flashcat911's profile

Latest Journal Entry

October 4, 2008

Life is Unfair

As you all might not know, I am in my first year of high school. However, being a freshmeat- I mean freshman, hasn't been the greatest thing people have told me. In fact, it's been terrible, sad, and rather cruel.

As I walked the halls on the first day of school, (Actually a while ago) I am nervous. I am shaking inside because not only am I surrounded by unknown things, but my sisters unfairly pushed me through orientation day swiftly and I didn't get to see all my classes. I finally find first period because my old friend has the same class and we look together. I am relieved. Then, a friend of hers enters the room, and leavs the table to sit with her. I am all alone.

Where did my friends go?

What happened to the friends I made in 8th grade? This was just like when I moved down here after 7th grade! Awful! Wearing a hoody, I sadly pull a manga from my backpack. My slice of heaven? No, but a dang good comfort to escape. I don't understand. I made so many friends in 8th grade with hard work and even felt like moving here wasn't so bad...! Then.... Four of those new friends go to a different school. The other two, while at my school, are in standard while I work intensely in honors and AP. The saddest is really that... One of the friends that went to another school was really close to me... He became a good friend, and always was there to include me in conversations when I was out...

Math Class, waiting for bell:

"Yeah Yeah! That game was terrible! We lost SO BAD!" A shorter boy complains.

"Ha, our teams sucks!" My close friend laughs. "It was insane, but I didn't go... Niether did you, right Cassi?"

"...?" I look up from my book and smile slightly. "I only like football when I can play!"

"Oh RELLY? You're so on after school!" He grins.

......

On the last day of school, when we're leaving seventh period, I hug all my friends because I probably won't see them voer the summer, I hate leaving the house at times.... When I hug him, it's loose, but then he squeezes tighter before quickly releasinh and rushing off to his bus, waving with a big grin. Later, as I talk to my friend on the bus, I find out he liked me... a lot. And... I liked him.... a lot... Suddenly, I'm remembering all the times that I had been so blind...

When we were in seventh period one day, watching an extremely boring movie, I complained how everyone kept saying my hands were so small for an eighth graders!... Taking my hand, he compared it to his. I thought that was normal. Then, his fingers slipped between mine and he gently, but firmly, squeezed my hand. I never second guessed he was just measuring.....

I recall when I was walking to fifth period, after math (A class I shared with him), he'd always come up to me and start talking friendly. Then, when we arrive at his class, he'd always say "I'll get a drink of water."... Which resulted in him walking me all the way to class. I did enjoy this. I enjoyed his company.

I remember his perverted jokes that always made me die of laughter.

I remember his goofy smile and funny joke-telling voice.

I remember his random "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" jokes.

I remember him. I wish he was still with me.

I'm sorry _____. I'm sorry I couldn't realize.......

Now, I'm in high school. I lost him. I lost my other good friend "S." I lost so many laughs. Yet, I still cling to the old memories that make me laugh. The times when I could make people burst laughing with my random jokes. The times when I was surrounded by my five amigos... My dear friends. I took you for granted. I thought I would have you all forever. Now, I'm in High School. Sure, I am just starting to make a friend or two, but they'll never replace you. Always, somewhere in my mind, I'll hold the funny boy, the blonde runner, the red head party girl, and the sarcastic shorty in my mind.... I'm sorry I took you for granted seventh grade buddies....

I'm sorry, I'm rambling... but I just had to write this down. Thank-you for listening so long.... Gomen~

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