FishAndDicks's Journal

Am I ever proud of the men in my life! Just last Sunday night my brother Bilal (the one who likes like Al Pacino) was arrested after he and his co-workers decided to have a "chalk night" outside of the restaurant. They drew some pretty naughty things and before anyone knew it 8 pig cars drove up. Everyone ran except for Bilal and while he was being handcuffed and stuffed into a police car several people started to chant, "Attica! Attica!" (My uncle later called him, whispered "Attica!" into the phone, and then hung up. I love my family.) According to him jail is very depressing and some scnook guilty of domestic violence tried to befriend him. Anyways, click away on the link I attached. My opinion on this is rather biased, seeing as he is my brother after all, but arresting people for SIDE WALK CHALK ART is extremely excessive. And come on, it was pretty funny. Now, today after school Mason, Daniel, and I were congregating in front of the boys' room when the vice principal showed up, yelling at my two of my favorite males to WAIT OUTSIDE FOR DRAMA TO BEGIN. (They're both in drama.) So we hauled ass outside and while Daniel had his muscley arm around my waist he turned around and flipped off Mr.Davies, who didn't see it. (I'm fairly certain this act was taken to impress me.) But the school pig did and now Daniel has two days of in-school suspension. I am extremely proud of Bilal and Daniel. Apparently they showed Bilal's mug shot on local news and most of my friends happened to see it.

Hello everyone! How was your weekend? That gorgeous chick happens to be me, dancing on a wall at the party where I met Daniel's ex-girlfriend. The word "whore" was created after her, but let's talk about something that doesn't make my blood boil. Ah, I really do love parties. People in general and the masks we wear fascinate me....Take Raeann, for example. She pretends to be such a rebel (this act consists mainly of piercing her own nose and crossing the street without waiting for the lights to change) but truth be told she follows Daniel and I around, agreeing with everything we say and doing whatever we do. Sometimes I lightly pick on my friends to see how they'll react and 99.9% of the time they give into me without resistance. I love my friends but sometimes they seem as if they have no willpower, which is infuriating. How can someone live like that? I really respect most people who stick it to me. Not to sound conceited, but I am a bitch. Daniel takes some of my crap but he doesn't let me rule over everything. For instance, on Earth Day I dragged him to a construction site and started to screw up as much work as I could because the property they were building on used to be beautiful desert land. Peeps, you should have seen the look on his face! With all that I put him through I can hardly believe that he hasn't gone into cardiac arrest yet. He had to drag me away before the neighbors called the cops and bribed me with gummy worms, which worked. The next day Raeann told me that I have no reason to switch schools and pursue my dreams of becoming an artist because Daniel is going to a different school! I was fucking furious. Comments like that show how spineless chicks are today. Am I supposed to give up on my "career" (not really much of one, I'm probably going to die of some disease ;) and make the guy I'm dating the center of my life?! NO! There's only one center of my life and her name sure as hell ain't Daniel, although I can say that I genuinely love him. Laugh at a silly teenager if you must. I was in a terrible mood today so I went to see my hippie man who's name happens to be Carl or Karl. He's like a therapist, I swear. I also got "Lust For Life" which is about Vincent Van Gogh and a book of poems by Dr. Zhivago. Anyways, thank you for reading this.

Because I'm too poor to afford the Pink Floyd coasters I wanted to get him (although I made ten easy bucks today for no apparent reason) I made Daniel this play list for his birthday: 1)Wave of Mutilation - Pixies 2)God Only Knows - the Beach Boys 3)Yellow Submarine - the Beatles 4)Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan 5)Shake It Up - the Cars 6)I Fought the Law - the Clash 7)Killing and Arab - the Cure 8)Almost Cut my Hair - Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young 9)Star - David Bowie 10)To Susan in the West Coast Waiting - Donovan 11)Roadhouse - the Doors 12)(You're The) Devil in Disguise - Elvis Presley 13)Personal Jesus - Johnny Cash 14)Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division 15)D'yer Mak'er - Led Zeppelin 16)Ohio - Neil Young 17)All Apologies - Nirvana 18)Junkie's Promise - Sonic Youth 19)Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison 20)Sexbomb - Tom Jones 21)It's a Boy - the Who Speaking of good music, Daniel and I (and Raeann and Hannah,though they aren't as dazzling or creative as Dan the Man and I) have befriended the owner of a small bookstore in our neighborhood. He's kind of a hippie, with long gray hair and a superb taste in music. He was in the music business for a couple of years and knew several Black Panthers members (does anyone find them as hot as I do?)AND saw Nirvana live back in the 90s. Yesterday after school the whole crew - Daniel, Hannah, Gabe, Raeann, and I - headed over there after school to talk music and browse. Fuc.k, even Raeann and Gabe read which is really a big deal seeing as the average amount of reading they get done a day is off of MySpace. Pathetic, yes, I know. Anyways, Daniel and I cuddling behind a stack of books when our hippie man comes out from behind the counter and hands us a great big, blue and yellow book entitled THE SIXTIES or something like that, I don't remember because Daniel has it right now. It was too beat up for him to sell so right on the spot he gave it to us. And peeps, it is FUC.KING BEAUTIFUL. There are pictures of famous bands, not so famous bands, rare articles and interviews, and even a photo of Andy and Edie in the process of making a movie. I almost DIED right there in the book store. The owner of the bookstore is our Pigman (if you get that I LOVE YOU) only he has kids and a wife and I don't think he's lonely. But I can tell he likes us a lot. How often do you find a group of friends like mine? I have to brag about them because they're awesome (even Raeann, who spends most of her time in the worst way possible - on some electronic device). After that Gabe went home (thank lack of God, I can't stand him!) so Rae, Daniel, and I headed over to the grass field at school and hung there for a while. Raeann left after a little because she had a killer case of cramps while Daniel and I just stayed there and talked for hours and hours. I've said it once and I'll say it again, HE HAS A GREAT BODY AND AN EVEN BETTER PERSONALITY. There, that's about he cheesiest I'm going to get, I promise.

Awwww, how cute....Now that I have your attention I have some smashing good news. 1) I am now in possession of a PIXIES RECORD. Yes, that's right, everyone's favorite surf//punk rock band ON FUC.KING VINYL FOR $15. I'm in just as much shock as you are and it's my favorite album, Doolittle. It's such a fuc.king great album that it's almost a best of. Speaking of which, have I ever told you how much I despise best of albums? You don't get to see what the artist was aiming for, it's not a REAL album, and music industries probably make more off of them than the artists. Those pigs systematically rape musicians. On with the show. 2) I am "going steady" (nifty fifties terminology!) with Daniel--and not the Danny I've been blathering away about for the past few months. Before Daniel came along Danny was just something to do. Hnn, that came out wrong. Anyways, he looks a teeny bit like Jimmy Page only hotter and with wild, mermaid hair. He has A GREAT BODY AND *SUPERB* TASTE IN MUSIC. (His favorite band is NIRVANA.) It's positively crazy. A wonderful, dedicated handful of you know that his ex-step-dad used to whip him with one of those awful Prick Topic belts and that he lived with his grandmother for nine months after it had been discovered that his mother was a coke head. It's saved him from being a whiny, overly self pitying teenager who sits around on MySpace all night. Speaking of the world wide internet, click on the link I attached. Don't think I'm racist against Muslims in any way possible-I'm not-because my parents both happen to be practicing Muslims. I guarantee you will laugh your ass off. And now I'm going to try and overcome my insomnia and sleep. If I'm lucky the bags under my eyes will go away.

I really love my friends. I can't think of anyone else who would go along with my schemes and put up with my sense of humor the way they do. This includes sneaking out of the house at two in the morning and covering the entire front of our school with caution tape. It was truly beautiful, and not to mention the talk of the school--before Moe the monitor walked in on Morgan and Rudie barney-mugging on top of the sink. We've all agreed Moe went into cardiac arrest after that. Ah, public school! Anyways, Daniel planned a safe, pig-free route for us and I came up with the idea. I also found out a lot about Daniel, including the fact that in elementary school he lived with grandmother because his mother was on coke and other hard d.rugs. He was also beat by his ex-step-dad with one of those awful studded belts. And you know what? He has kicked his past in the a.ss and doesn't give a s.hit. And that is one of the many reasons why we call him Dan the Man. Speaking of cool guys I have an awesome story about my brother Bilal. A couple of nights ago at the diner where he works (best diner in the world, I'm not f.ucking kidding) he was out in the front of the building a smoke with a few colleges. Now, this car pulls up and a 14-year-old chick (who looks, as Bilal said, like she'll be ugly for the rest of her life if puberty doesn't kick in soon) sticks her head out the window shouts, "You don't wear side burns well!" There are three things you should know about Bilal: 1) He is the ultimate bad-a.ss, 2) he looks like Al Pacino in Serpico, and 3) he doesn't give a f.uck about what anyone says. But why not have a little fun? So he takes a nice long drag from his cigarette and slowly exhales. Then he walks over to where the little g.irl's car has stopped at a red light. All the windows are rolled down so Bilal kind of bends down so he's facing her and just STARES at this g.irl--who's crouched down low by now, worrying about what he's going to do next--all the while smoking his fag. He does this for a good while before the fugly teeny bopper's redneck mother asks, "Can I help you with something?" And Bilal replies coolly, "No." As soon as the light turned green the car zipped off. Heh, that will each her not to shout insults at random strangers. And by the way, he really does looks fabulous in side burns.

Well, my friends, this is it. Although I'm not breaking on through to the other side in any means, tonight marks the beginning of something I've been waiting for for a very long time. Tonight Daniel (not Danny-Boy) and I are going to sneak out and caution tape as much our school as we can. A humble plan, I know, but at least it's SOMETHING. And it's a product of my ingenious nature. Yes, I know. Gorgeous AND creative. Oh, how in Heavens' name do I contain the wonderful being that is me?

Drop dead sexy gorgeous, I know. This was over spring break shortly after we found out about my uncle. We went to Cali to shop for my brother's wedding which takes place in May. He and his woman are "sleeping" (yeah, right) in the room next to mine. I truly do not want to hear them so I'm listening to the Doors and finding my happy place. I just realized how very much I fucking LOVE the Doors. Dan the Other Man (not Danny-Boy, or Dan the Man) has promised that if I get him Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here on vinyl ($1) that I saw at a garage sale he'll give me some Doors merchandise his mom grew out of. Anything for good clothes....

And what did I see that Wednesday before spring break but a line of black clad conformists with identical wrist bands and zebra stripped hair, all waiting for My Chemical Romance tickets. Yes, fellow Quizillians, they're coming to town which means my city's music scene is possibly going down the drain, among other things. Such as down town. You see, developers from Washington D.C. are now after "the heart of the city" as we know it. They plan to "renovate" and "improve" downtown Tucson to help bring "new attractions" and "commercial development." This program, Rio Nuevo, is aimed at the "younger crowd," as Talal was told by some big-wig of the Rio Nuevo gang, and "people like you!" But my bro stuck it to the man and told her that he really liked downtown THE WAY IT IS, and that his brother lives and works there and if RV is launched living in that area will become very expensive, fuck you very much. Good boy. What about you guys? Is there anything going on in your area you really hate?

This made me laugh so hard. I think it's actually a scam to get personal information but the questions are amusing nonetheless. I was a bit shocked to see Joy Division mentioned. Did you know they're named after concentration camp sex slaves? Rock N Roll forever.

Watch this video and comment telling me what you think the song is "about." I'll tell you what I think after a few people comment because I want you to think about it for yourself. FUCK COCK SHIT JESUS, I sounded like a teacher....

Friday night we found out that my uncle, after a lot of pain, passed on from Hepatitis B. My siblings and I are fine, mostly just stumped, seeing as we never met him-and never will-because he lived in Pakistan. It is the worst thing in the world to see your parents cry. They took it as best as they can and are keeping a good grip on themselves. The house has been dead quiet because no one really feels like watching TV or playing music. I keep on wondering what if it were one of my brothers? My sister? One of my friends? One of my parents? I have to meet everyone (especially my relatives) and love them all before we vanish completely....

OK, maybe not. But I'm only b.itchy and angsty because it's that time of month again. But I have my guy friends, new records, chocolate, and upcoming yoga and pottery classes to help me survive. I also have to make some stencils for the graffiti crew to seek my artistic destruction on the s.hit school that I'm in right now. For those of you who don't know I cussed out my P.E. coach because this town just ain't big enough for the both of us. In my defense I've gone to some really horrible schools. In kindergarten I was told that Satan lived in the bathroom and for years after I was terrified to go in there alone.:) After that I was home schooled for two and a half years by my momma which didn't really work out too well seeing as we are two very insubordinate people.At least I made a lot of imaginary friends. After that was the hippie school. Yoga, meditation, soccer, reading, writing, gardening, psychopathic and abusive teachers, and enough perverts for us to not need a sex ed class. Next came charter school where I was out numbered by administration ,over achievers who acted as though their only purpose in life was to achieve high honor roll and receive a gold balloon in exchange. In short, I was surrounded by right wing pricks. I befriended quite a few of them. At least I know how to make friends. And now it's the GaNg$tA, emo, prep, scenester ridden piece of tripe I'm at now. The kids here have no imagination what so ever. What about you guys?What are your past schools like?

You will never get this one because is just too AMAZING. Among records from Johnny Cash, the Beatles, Queen, and Eric Clapton I also so got my paws on a NEW ORDERrecord.Hate me if you must. I found my precious piece of vinyl at the yard sale of an old man with impeccable music taste--minus all the Lynard Skynard. I really hate redneck music. But fuck that shit, I'm going to groove to 80s dance music.

Question:What do you think is the biggest problem of modern society, and why? Ho hum...the problem with modern society is the idea of society itself.Everybody is unique,individual and should be treated as such but society does not meet that need.We're all different but we don't allow ourselves to be treated as such.Instead we are herded through life like cattle-first to get an education,then to get a respectable job,next to get married,after that we breed,breed some more,and so on and so forth until you DIE. Maybe we aren't as strict as we were back in say,the fifteenth century,but we still do bear some resemblance to a Puritan colony,though they can't have been nearly as materialistic as we are today. And another big problems are apathy,ignorance,and intolerance.

...I am "a troubled individual." I don't think I've ever been so offended by something a teacher has said before, not because she was wrong, but because she was right. I really am "a troubled individual" as she put it and probably even borderline psycho. I wonder who's fault that is--mine for being born this way, or my parents' for raising me, and in the process f.ucking me up. It's another Nature vs. Nurture case. But that's fine by me, love. I can roll with that. I am a troubled individual, a f.ucked up doll face, a creepy crawly hippie nut case and I'm fine,no f.uck that, I am DANDY, I am ROCKIN' THE NIGHT AND DAY AWAY with it!!!! :)

Did you just have a heart attack?Because I did and I swear I do not know what I will do without my precious Polaroid film. Resort to a digital camera? Hell no!I only take PHOTOGRAPHS by my POLAROID,I don't want of that "too many buttons" .Our very own Andy Warhol used them back in the Factory days to photograph celebrities and take self-portraits.We've got to save instant film as we know it!

Question:If you could omit three to four words or sentences from this generation's vocabulary what would they be? My Answer:Gay,random,and retarded.

Hola niños!I was at the library today when I picked up a copy of Pattie Boyd's new book,"Wonderful Tonight."It made me think of all the sublime fashion icons of the 60s and I've narrowed it down to five of my favorites.

Because today is Kurt Cobain's birthday I thought I would share what I think has to be the best interview ever.He would be 41 today,had he lived. I agree with what he said about the sick,materialistic society that we lived in then (and still do today.)And the bit about slacking off.Give thanks for bands like NIRVANA because they are basically the anti-band.

Is a little love too much to ask of people?