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Latest Journal Entry

April 9, 2007

Im Sorry

  Im Sorry,

I failed. Completly and Miserably. I failed as a Guardien, as a caretaker, and as a pet owner. I failed.
 Today I relised that I commited one of the most horrdendous crimes I as a person could commit, I neglected my pet.
 I Failed to keep there cage clean, I failed to feed them enough, to give them fresh water, too play with them enough. I failed at being a there owner, I failed them.
 These pets I'm speaking of? I own, soon to be previously owned, two sugar gliders. Sugar gliders are a possums, and look similar to the flying squirrel. There cute creatures. Sweet and adorible, exotic creatures. There names are Pierre( the male) and Tillie( The Female). When I started out with them, every thing went fine, I had done everything right, I had researched them, everything about them, I had saved up for them,  I consulted experts about them, but after five years of ownership, I realised that im not whats best for them. With in five yaers, I' let there health slack, Pierre, poor pierre, his tail theip end has died and bcome infected, most likely because I havn't cleaned the cage enough, and his scent gland on the top of his head, is crusty, this all couldn't have happend over night, and I dont know how I could have missed it, but I did, and I'm to blame.
 I'm thoughrally ashamed, never in my lifetime would I expect me to do something this horrible. Never have I done this sort of thing before, never will this happen again.
 I decided that I'm unfit to be there owner. So I'm going to call a young woman who has sugar gliders as pets, and see if she wants them, yes I'm giving them up for free, I couldnt imagine trying to make a profit of of them after what I've done to them. She's aslo a vet, so Pierre should recieve top medical treatment for his condition, and Im going to offer to pay for it myself.
 Im pretty sure that his medical bill will be in the hundreds, as they will most likley need to amputate the tip of his tail. But I will use the money I have saved up to get myslef a dog, to pay the bills.
 Yes I know what your probally thinking, how could someone this reched, something this vile be thinking about getting another animal? Yeah I know, but instead of getting myself the dog I saved up for for almost two yaers, the dog I've dreamed of for three. I'm going to use that money to pay for the medical bills of the animal I've done wrong too, how can I even think of getting another animal after what I've done. Im unfit to get that dog, no matter how much it pains my haert to know that information. Im hardly fit enough to be considerd the owner of my cat. My cat I cherish and love so dearly, and after what has happend I must ask  myself have I failed her too?
 She only awsners me with purring and love. She gets attention everyday. She gets fed everyday. Her litterbox gets done. I feel relieved that I havn't at least, failed completly. But I still failed.
 Many people who know me know that when I get older, I want to be a zooligost/ marine biologist. How can I even consider those careers? Im horrible. Hate me.
I deserve to be sent to hell. Worse I deserve never to be the caretaker of an animal again. All I can say for myself is I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Im sorry to Pierre, to Tillie, to my cat, to anybody who reads this, and selfishly enough to myself. Im completly and udderly sorry. Im ashamed, and feel as if I'm the most horrible thing alive. Im sorry. 
 Can any of you find it in your hearts to forgive me?
God, I'm horrible, I'm even asking like the selfish brat I am, for forgiveness....
I dont deaserve your forgivness....
I dont deserve to be called a pet owner.....
I dont deserve pets.....
I dont deserve my job at the Horse Stables....
I dont deserve the dog I so carlessly wished for, while neglecting the animals I already had....
I dont deserve alot of things....
 
   This is the first and last time something like this will ever happen.

  I swear this on my blood.

  Im sorry.

                                                    Fido out.

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