Latest Journal Entry
December 5, 2007
Guide Against Self-Injuring:
Self-Injuring (SI for short) can be done in a lot of ways, which makes creating a guide to prevent it more difficult. In this guide I shall try to give different ways and options a person can take in order to prevent themselves from SI. I have not only study the matter, but have been a part of it. After a period of SI, I manage to stay 10 months without it, and then I did it again. After that relapse I’ve been 4 months without SI. I know the addiction first hand, and will try to give you tools to fight it.
I. Safer Substitute Methods
SI methods like cutting and burning are of great risks to you health. The wounds do not only have the possibility of getting infected, but are also an excellent way for dangerous diseases, like AIDS, to enter your body. You MUST NOT share your SI tools with others, and you must do your best to keep the wounds and cuts as shallow as possible.
SI is a very strong addiction that you just can’t abandon overnight. Step by step one can slowly manage to get out of it, but it requires great effort. The best thing to do when trying to stop is to start getting control over the SI. However, I know that many of you can’t control it, because of this I’ll give you some safer ways to SI.
1. Use a Rubber Band. Put the band as you would a bracelet, then stretch it and let go. The sting is close to the initial pain of a cut or burn. You can strike the rubber band as many times as you want until you feel satisfied. No open wound.
2. A belt; very similar to a rubber band. Must be a plain belt and the strike must NOT be with the buckle.
3. Ice. Ice is a great alternate tool for SI. Get ice and squeeze it hard in your hand, or press it against a specific spot in your body. The pain and feeling of the intense cold matches that of fire, plus it leaves a red mark that fades after a while.. Also, the ice lasts for a while so if you want a long numbing pain or something like that, it is perfect.
4. Red Marker. The red marker use is physiological. People that cut should get the red maker and draw a red line repeatedly over the spot they would have cut. This method doesn’t work on anyone, only on some types of people. Still worth a try, especially since it is painless. Excellent way to start getting out of cutting. You can try different versions of this method, like using food colorant.
In other words, if you are unable to stop SI then do it with out creating an open wound. The risk f that wound is serious and there is no need in taking the chance when there are other ways.
II. Stopping
I will now focus on actually preventing you from SI.
This is the #1 rule of stopping: In order to be able to stop, you must really want to. If you want to stop, but aren’t able too then it is ok because it takes time and effort. If you don’t want to stop then there is no point in trying. Finding multiple reasons to stop helps a lot. In my case I wanted to stop because I was afraid of my family noticing and because of the scars I was creating.
SI is an impulse, when you feel the need, when you want it, that is the moment you do it. It is triggered by something at any moment. You don’t have a calendar that says “Mon, Tue, Frid; 4:00pm-4:30pm Cut Wrist”. Given how it is an impulse there are some methods you can try to ride out the impulse until you don’t feel the need to SI. I must warn you, at first the need to SI is going to be constantly there. That means that even if you get over your impulse you‘ll still feel the need to do it. The impulses are when your need and want are at their peak. However, as time goes by, you stop constantly feeling the need to SI and only your impulses are the ones that are really dangerous.
Impulses are momentary. Some last longer, others are shorter, but in the end they all pass. You must let them pass without giving into your desire to SI. Here are a couple of ways to accomplish this.
1. Stay away from all material you can use to SI. If you don’t have the material at hand you won’t be able to SI. This way you can fight the urge with out having a weapon near you, which takes away pressure. Razors, daggers, pocket knifes, pins, cigarette lighters, matches, throw them all away.
2. Notice and act. Be aware of your impulses, this way you can act against them faster. If you feel the need to cut then quickly try to do something else, anything else. Even simple things can help. When you notice the need to SI, before you can do it, change your clothes, get a big glass of water, make a sandwich, got to the bathroom, take a shower, do any of those things, or others. They will help you keep your mind off the impulse to SH and in the time it takes you to do those things the impulse will pass.
3. Get into many activities. Getting into other activities will help you get your life back, it will help you in keeping your mind away from problems, and it will also keep your mind off SI and give you other ways to express you emotions. Join sports teams, start doing art (write, paint, draw, wood, etc.), hang out a lot with friends. Try to keep yourself busy and active. This takes us to the following part….
III. What To Do Instead
You SI for a reason, and even if you stop SI that reason won’t go away. So what do you do instead? Here I will give you some ways to express your feelings and emotions. Different methods work for different emotions. Here are some things you can do:
1. Hit, punch, and kick a pillow. Release your anger against it and not yourself. You can also use the pillow to hit a wall or your bed. Cushions, stuffed animals, etc all those can be used too.
2. If your frustration and anger is against yourself then make a drawing or take a picture of yourself and damage it. Rip it into pieces or draw in red ink the things you’ll like to do to yourself.
3. Get something breakable like ice and throw it hard against a wall or against the floor. Throw it hard enough for it to shatter.
4. Run fast. Imagine you are running away from all you dislike; stop when you can’t go on anymore.
5. Exercise. Go to a gym and work out. Imagine that all the sweat is all your emotions and all your problems that you are getting out of your body.
6. Music is my personal favorite. Start getting into music, let the music take you in, enjoy it, live it. Find music that expresses emotion, music that you can relate too. Don’t be afraid to listen to music you have never listened too before.
7. This one is extremely important. Trust your friends. Friends will help you as much as they can. They don’t want to see you hurt yourself and the second you ask them for help they will do their best. I know that most of you take lots of measures to keep everyone from knowing that you SI, and I understand that. However, I’m not talking about you showing off your scars to the world; I’m talking about you going to them in this way, “I have a problem and need your help”. Explain to them what you do and why you do it; it is important that they understand.
IV. Professional Help
Like I already said, I know that for most of you the mere idea of others knowing about your SI problem is terrifying. To be perfectly honest, I never looked for any outside help, not from professionals and not from my friends. I know that I just said that trusting your friend is extremely important, but at the moment I just didn’t know what to do and I didn’t want my friends to think I was a suicidal freak (this is why it is important to explain it to them). Time later I did let one of my friends know what I went through and explain it to her.
Anyways, professional help is something that I strongly recommend doing when everything else has failed. There are always people that are willing to help and that know what they are doing. If you really want to get over SI, you must be willing to try everything, including asking for help. Talk to a teacher you trust, to a counselor, to a doctor, to a cool aunt… whoever you think can help.
Some of you might be wondering why I haven’t mention parents; this is why. The last person in the world we want knowing that we SI is our parents. We don’t think they’ll understand, we don’t want them to worry, we fear punishment, we fear being dragged to a shrink, in conclusion I know you rather not have them know and that is why I haven’t advice you telling them. However, if you are close with your parents, if you feel that telling them will help you, then I strongly advice you to do so. Normally, parents look for the well-being of their child, they do what they think is best for you. If you decide to tell them, you must make sure that you explain EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of what and why (especially why) you do what you do. Try and work out solutions between both parties, do not allow your parents to do something that you totally refuse doing. In the end remember that SI is your problem, and you are the only one that can stop it. Others can help, but you must be the one to finish it.
By JMB
If you wish to contact me: cyberjulio4@hotmail.com
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