AnimeBaby123's Journal

At the beach on Easter! It was very pretty there and I'm so happy to have been there with my mom and my older brother. I think that was the best time I had ever had since I moved out here in Santa Cruz.

I have a question about it. Can you still get your character to grow up to be one of the characters in the original V4, or can they only grow up to be one of the characters in V4.5? I'm just curious. But if you know the answer, please tell me! :3 Arigatou!

Why do I feel like I've been becoming more cold and distant lately? It seems like I'm losing myself more and more and that I'm not the same cheerful person I used to be. I don't understand it, and I don't like it. It's almost as if I've changed into a completely different person. I find myself getting depressed very often and just not caring about anything anymore. I have never been like that before.... It's been that way ever since I moved away from my friends. I've been torn up about it ever since. Could that be the cause of this change? Is it possible that my lonliness has done this to me? It's strange how something like this could change me so much... I hate it.

It's amazing how you can feel happy one day, and feel like breaking down into tears the next. Emotions are a mystery and seem to get in the way a lot of the time. In some ways, I wish I never had them. I wonder what if life would be better that way. If I never had them, then nothing can hurt me. Things like love wouldn't even matter and neither would things like jealousy or anger or even hatred. If someone were to ever call me terrible names like "slut" or anything like that, I wouldn't care. So many times I've been hurt by peoples' cruelity, but then again, who hasn't? But, I've been distancing myself further and further away from others out of fear. People are such cold, selfish, shallow and spiteful beings.... I'm sorry.... I'm just really depressed right now....

And went to heaven!!! I had the best Baklava EVER! It was so sweet and flaky! You could see the golden honey dripping from it and it practically melted in my mouth. It was absolute perfection! I know it's a little weird writing about Baklava, but yeah. I tried making it before, and it turned out pretty good, but the Baklava that I just ate blew mine right out of the water! I'm a little envious about that,but oh well. That stuff is awesome!!!! xD Who knew that Trader Joes would have such delicious and heavenly Baklava.

Okay, so are people just considered freaks if they never had a boyfriend before?! Because pretty much everyone asks me "Do you have a boyfriend?" and when I say that I never had one, they act all surprised and go "REALLY?!" It's so annoying. They don't have to make such a big deal about it. My gosh. So what if I'm 16 and I don't have a boyfriend? It's not like the end of the world. I mean, sure I want one, but yeah. And not only do people have to make such a big deal out of it, but afterwards they have to go and say "But you're sooo pretty!" I don't know if that's supposed to be true or if they're just saying it because they feel bad. But I suppose that if I actually were pretty, I'd have a boyfriend already, huh?

I feel like complete and total crap. I've been spiraling into depression ever since I moved. My tarot cards said everything was going to be okay when I did my reading (yes, I have my own deck of tarot cards) but, it doesn't seem like it now at this point in time. I don't think I'll ever be happy until I move back to where I came from. THIS SUCKS LIKE HECK!!!!!!!! UGH! I want to diiiiiieeeeeeeeee!

Living in Santa Cruz. I miss all of my friends in Concord sooo much. I miss just being with them and I was so comfortable to be myself around them and now I just feel isolated and alone. I never was the confident type, so it's pretty hard for me to actually make new friends, and I don't speak up until I actually get to know people, which for me can take a year or even longer. And I also hate the fact that in the area I live now is so far away from everything. In Concord, everything was so close by. I can't wait until I move back there during senior year. Junior year is already sucky so far. Ugh... And I also had so many things planned with my friends too.... I hate this!

*DO NOT OPEN IN FRONT OF PARENTS...5 PPL ACTUALLY GOT KILLED BY NOT SENDING THIS PIECE OF MAIL.THE CREATOR OF THIS MAIL HAS A PROGRAM THAT WILL TRACK DOWN UR ADDRESS. WHAT DO U HAVE TO LOSE? UR LIFE. PLZ REPOST! THANK YOU AND HAVE A MEANINGFUL REST OF YOUR DAY &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Sorry, but because u opened this you will die in 3 days. sorry. the only way you can reverse this is by reposting it within 5 minutes. good luck By opening this chainmail u have been given bad luck for 2 months. If u repost this message then the bad luck will turn good. Here are the rules: 1)Give the bulletin a name that has nothing to do with a chain letter because this letter is a trap. The more people that you trick, the better luck you will have. *Oooooooooookay then...

So yeah, I'll be moving to NY from California before school starts again. I'm going to miss my friends ALOT and I can't imagine not having them around. They're all such wonderful people and they are great, but I'm also pretty excited too, you know? I'm also going to miss my cousins and my school. I mean, so much has happened in the 2 years that I spent there. So many memories had been made there, and I can't believe I'm going to be leaving that all behind. But New York sounds really nice, from what I've heard. I'm confused on whether or not I should be happy or sad.

Has anyone liked someone so much, that they can't stop thinking about them and wonder if they're thinking of you too? Or that everytime you see them, it feels like your heart is about to burst? Or everytime they smile, you feel like smiling too even if that smile wasn't directed towards you? Or when they smile, you hope that their smile will last forever? Or when they're near you, you can't even say hi to them, even if you really want to? Or that everyday you have class with them, you try to look your best in hopes that they'll notice and maybe even glance in your direction? The only reason I'm asking this, is because this is how I truly feel about someone. It may sound a little corny, but this is how I seriously feel...

Okay, so you know the guy who kept stalking me? Well, my friend had a talk with him and told him to stop, and thankfully, he did. Buuuut, when I saw him in art class today, he went up to me and said "Hey, you know what's disgusting?" and I was all like "Hmmm...? What?" and then he was all like, "Your face!" Ugh! I couldn't believe he said that. I mean, I know I'm ugly, but he doesn't have to rub it in. He has some serious issues!

This one kid keeps following me everywhere I go! xP He's such an idiot and a jerk too, and he's far off from cute. He always tries to act cool around me and tries to act all buddy-buddy with MY friends and always tries to hang out with me. It's quite irritating. And yesterday, when I was walking out from my English class andgoing to hangout with my friend at this one cafe nearby our school, I found him waiting for me outside of the classroom for me! I don't even know how he knew what class I had. I didn't even tell him! And when I told him I had plans to hangout with my friends, he followed me all the way to the cafe and stayed there! He's so lame and he's getting on my nerves. And one of my friend's friends said that if I want him to, he'll beat him, but that's a bit much. But yes, I want to get that guy to STOP! Any ideas on what I can do to make him stop following me everywhere?

So, school started again, and I can't stop thinking about the anime club president and the way he always stared and smiled at me whenever he'd pass me by through the halls.... I've been trying to look for him, but so far, I've had no luck. I don't know why I'm so set on looking for him, but I am. Everyday I wake up thinking "Maybe today is the day that I'll see him!" It's silly, I know, but I can't help it. I want to join the club so badly and I want to get to know more about him too! I really don't know what I'd do if I don't find him... It's strange, really. I never thought of anyone so much like this before... What's the matter with me?

If you read my Journal about the anime club, then you'll know what I'm talking about in this Journal post. But anyways, here I go! Okay, during finals *a week before summer break started* I ran into the anime club president again in A Hall! He passed by me, and he kept looking back at me and staring and smiling at me too! He pretty much does this everytime we happen to run into eachother. At first, I thought that I wouldn't be able to like him, but now, I think I am falling for him. *BLUSH* I can't stop thinking about him. Please tell me your opinions. Do you think he likes me?

Okay, yesterday I found out that one of my friend's friends has a crush on me, and today I met up with him. He seems to be really sweet and interested in me, but I didn't really feel much of a connection. He asked me if I wanted to go out with him, and I said yes, but I kind of regret saying that.... You see, I have trouble saying "no" to people and I also have a crush on someone else. My crush seems to keep staring at me, but he never made an attempt to approach me so I gave up and just said yes to the guy who has a crush on me... *Sigh* It looks like I got myself into big trouble this time..... -_-;

The problem with my dad has gotten worse... And my brother is taking his side.... I thought I could come to him for anything, I love him. I feel like everyone is leaving me. Why? Why does it have to be this way? My heart feels like it's slowly being torn... It hurts so badly.... The one thing I feared the most is coming: the people that I love are slowly turning on me, at least that's how I feel...

Konnichiwa everyone! Okay, so I am addicted to this one online game called Conquer (and no, it's not the game about the squirrel!!!) So anyways, it's kind of like an RPG thingy, and it's just awesome!!!! XDDD You can choose to be an archer (I am an archer ^_^), fire or water taoist, or trojan, and you get to choose the face you want to have (The faces are anime-style!!! DEFINITE PLUS!!!XDD), change your hairstyle and color, and get MARRIED! You can also join guilds and team up with and message other players! It's really cool! I'M OBSESSED! I LOVE IT!!!

Konnichiwa everyone..... Animebaby123's pretty depressed at the moment..... Here's why: My dad is almost 50 years old, and he's dating a 22 year old girl! XP It's really quite disturbing.... Well anyways, they've been going out for a while and he proposed to her about a couple of months ago, and he never told me. I had to find that out through my cousin. Well now I just found out that his fiancee is pregnant with HIS child, and they never told me! So, I decided that I would need some space to think things over, after all, I was the youngest child for 14 whole years! It's waaaayyy too sudden for me, so instead of spending a whole week with my dad like I was supposed to (BTW, I live with my mom and only visit my dad every other weekend) I didn't. So then my dad got all upset and said "If you don't want to accept my fiancee, then I don't want to see you ever again!". He was serious about this too. He and my mom are going to court over it. This all happened 2 days ago, and I couldn't stop crying. He chose his new fiancee over me... Is this all my fault?

Okay, I finally found out how I will be able to get into the anime club! You see, I found out recently that there will be a meeting thingy going on at the end of Feb. during lunch! Here's how I found out: A couple of days ago, My friend and I were eating lunch in the hallway, since it was cold out. Then, a boy walked by and my friend noticed that he kept on looking at me and smiling at me, so I turned around, and saw that she was right!!! Then he walked back and stopped in front of me and told me about the anime club! (By the way,I was wearing my Anime Junkie shirt) He told me that I should go to the meeting thingy and join, so I was all like "Sure! I'll be there!" and he was like "Yes! I love being President!" and then I was all like "WOW! He's the president of the anime club!? What a coincidence!" and then my friend Suzzie kept on telling me that he likes me, but I don't believe her, and this really has nothing to do with anything! And that's how I found out about the anime club!