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December 29, 2007

i had another vision last night.

She left to go to work the day before, and she had never come home. She had gone to her boyfriend’s house in Wallingford right after work and mom and I were worried. It wasn’t the ‘I hope she’s ok’ type of worried, it was the ‘I have to get her before he kills her’ worried. She was at his house with the baby and her son, and I had this pressure in my chest that I couldn’t shake. Mom and I hopped in the car and began driving down the busy, main road that took us straight to his house. I knew where he lived, not because she’d told me but because instinct drove me further. I felt my sister and I felt the danger surrounding her while in this monster’s arms.. and I wanted nothing more than to see him gone. Out of the picture. I wanted him as far away from my sister as possible. That monster was going to kill her. When we got there, she refused to leave. I called her on her phone and she said something about not being able to leave. That she would lose him, that she couldn’t lose him.. and I wanted to strangle my sister with every fiber of my being, and with the same intensity, hold her tight and shield her from his clutches. She was so stubborn when it came to men… never trusted my intuition when I warned her of the others that had come and gone in her life, not even when every single one of them had proven my visions and my gut feeling to be 100% true. Somehow, I don’t remember the detail because that night was such a blur. We were home. My mom and I were home and she was with us although she was busy packing a bag to stay at his place. I reminded her that she had work the next day even though there was a high chance that she didn’t. Monday was New Year’s Eve, and I hoped desperately that as the words ‘you have work tomorrow’ slipped off my tongue that she would forget that discrepancy. Fortunately she did… unfortunately, she didn’t care. My mom held the crying baby and I stared incredulously at my sister while she threw her life away and the life of my niece and nephew out on a whim. How could she?! I had to do something to stop her. I looked outside the window and saw him outside standing around waiting for her. He would glance at his wristwatch every so often and get an angry scowl on his face, and that scared me. It scared me for her.. my only sibling, my other half… so I did what instinct drove me to do, I ran outside to give him a piece of my mind and let him know that I was on to him. He tried talking over me as if to tell me to shut up and mind my business, but I always was a loudmouth and I quickly silenced him. “Listen to me you bastard, my sister has a life. She has a great job to go to, she has children that need her, a mother that adores her…. She is also my twin. She may be ten years older than me but half of her is half of me. Don’t you dare think that she is alone and she will go unnoticed. Don’t fuck with me, asshole! I will drench you in gasoline and burn you alive, do you hear me?! I’m fucking crazy and I’ll do everything to protect her, don’t you dare believe for one moment that I don’t know what you’re doing!” I stared deep and hard into his coal colored eyes, eyes that held not one ounce of compassion, love or understanding, while I continued. “Oh, but don’t worry. She’ll get tired of you eventually.” “I’m not going to do anything while we’re here. Not at her mother’s house. Just wait until I get her home.” I felt hell freeze over and heaven begin to weep uncontrollably as he muttered curses against my sister in preparation for her beating. No way in hell was I letting this happen. No fucking way. “That’s domestic violence, you ass.” Almost as if on cue, a police trooper was driving by. I shouted and waved him down. I glanced out the corner of my eye, hoping to see even a shadow of remorse or fear in this man’s eyes. All I found there was determination. I couldn’t let this happen, I couldn’t let her go. “Officer….” I explained the situation and my conversation with the monster to the officer.. minus me threatening to drench him in gasoline, of course. I asked him if that man’s words qualified as domestic violence. I knew what shady category it fell into, and I understood his hesitance to answer me. I stared into his blue/green eyes penetratingly and it took all that I had in me not to reach out and stroke his blond curls. My God, was this man an angel? I was snapped out of my two second daze when she came out carrying her bags, my mom crying and holding her chest tight in an attempt to be modest. She was always wearing freakin pjs. Not even now, as her daughter was ruining her life, could she wear anything other than pjs. She was so helpless. I was nothing like my mother. I turned my attention to the bastard and pointed a finger in his face. “If you so much as lay a finger on my sister or my wards, so help me God Himself I will see you in hell PERSONALLY!” He just smirked at me, amused in my quick shifts in mood, and mocked my earlier tactic at getting him in trouble with the law. “Officer, I want to press charges. She just threatened me and you heard her!” Fuck! How the hell was I going to protect my wards from jail?! I mentally paced while I thought of an excuse, but oh, that beautiful angel that came to my rescue.. I was shocked when he responded calmly with “I heard no such thing. Good day, sir.” I wanted to hug him and strike him. Good day?! Was he just going to let her go?! Dammit!! I watched my sister and the kids pile into his car and drive off. This could very well be the last time I saw them alive, but I had to play it cool. I didn’t want the lunatic to think I would make good on my threats.. even though I meant every single word and more. I turned to the officer, now fully enraged, and screamed at him. “What the FUCK was that about?! He’s going to kill her!!” I hadn’t realized I was shaking, hadn’t noticed the tears, nor had I spared a passing thought at the sobs that racked my body as I completely broke down in front of that angel. I didn’t notice them, but he did. He wrapped his arms around my body and held me close. I swear now, thinking back, that he was the single source of my newfound strength, resolve, and warmth.. because when my sister drove off in the car with that monster, for the five seconds that ensued… I swear my heart had stopped beating. I cried into his shoulder and gripped the front of his shirt in a death grip. I had no idea where my mother was, probably somewhere in the house praying. Praying, on her knees, in her pajamas the way I had seen her do countless times. All those other times I had called her a hypocrite, screamed that she only sought God when she needed of Him. Those shouts had only driven a spiritual wedge between my mother and I and did so for quite some years, but feeling this stranger’s empathy surround me, it was almost as if that wedge had just completely dissipated. Hold on… empathy… I snapped my head up and looked directly into his eyes. I only know of very few who are empaths, true empaths, strong enough to heal a heart with a loving embrace.. this man shared my gift, and he had honed his to perfection. It was not like mine, I’d heal the heart and then take the burden and keep it as my own because I wasn’t exactly sure how to release it… was he really an angel? I almost fainted at the thought and its absurdity. Thankfully he caught me. “You had to let her go. If you ever want her to believe you, she has to see some for herself.” My eyebrows wrinkled up as new tears formed new burning paths down my cheeks. “How do you know?” I choked out. He only smiled, wiped my new tears with his thumb and stared into my stormy orbs. “You have the eyes of a seer, the heart of an empath and the strength of a guardian. Only a fool wouldn’t know.” He squeezed my hands for good measure, and I was up those stairs quicker than a lightning bolt. I grabbed my mom’s car keys and demanded she get up from her praying. “Pero hija, pongamonos a orar,” she insisted. “No mama. I’m going to save my sister. Get in the fucking car.” We took a 45 minute drive in less than ten, bobbing and weaving through traffic as if this was a boxing match. How I wish I had that idiot in the ring! I’d snap his neck in three! We got to the house and my eyes widened at the sight. My mom couldn’t see it, I knew that, but I could. It was almost as if the entire house was ablaze and I could see the thick black smog that surrounded it. What an idiot my sister was.. she’d walked right into her own hell, and that bastard was her personal satan. I kicked through the door and ran upstairs with my mother. Mom grabbed the kids and I ran in on him, fist upraised, and my sister crying. Her eyes held such pain, but once they rested upon me, they held realization. Finally, they held realization. I crouched down and sprung on him like a lion, knocking him off his feet and thoroughly pissing him off. My sister took that cue to move but she was frozen in fear as he came up behind me. I knew this moment would come, I had been prepared for it all my life. This was my time to fight, to prove myself to everyone, to let them see the truth of who and what I was. He struck me once, across my shoulder, and I know he meant to dislocate it. I would have been a wreck without the use of my right arm… good thing I had moved at the last possible second, and he ended up hitting me just under the blade and across my ribs. I winced at the pain of his blow but continued staring my sister down. I dared not say a word, lest I drag him out of his daze and he realize that my sister was escaping. Mom was already outside in the car with the kids, and the only one missing was my sister. I mouthed the words ‘go’ at her, and pointed with my eyes to the cell phone that he had left on top of his television set. She grabbed it, and bless that woman, she ran. I took the beating for her that night, I lost count of the stabs and blows he directed at me. I couldn’t tell between his kicks and his punches, but with every new strike I thanked God that she had finally listened and gotten out. She wouldn’t have been able to withstand a blow. She was so frail, so delicate… meanwhile I had been blessed and cursed with brute strength. I blacked out just as I heard the sirens of the patrol cars and ambulances. I knew that once they got here, my family would be safe… it would be okay for weakness to set in, and the moment to give in to the darkness that consumed me. I was dead, I was sure of it. BEEP….BEEP….BEEP….BEEP…. what the fuck? Where on earth was I? Does it beep in hell? I opened my eyes and focused them on a heavenly combination of blue and green.. blue and green? I blinked, and almost cried. My angel was here! “Hey you,” he smiled at me. I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat was amazingly dry. Almost as if my eyes had betrayed it, he held a straw up to my mouth and I greedily took my fill of ice cold water. By now I had drifted into consciousness enough to know that I was in no heaven nor hell, rather in a hospital bed laying on my stomach with my head turned to face my angel. “What are you doing here?” I asked him. I was so ashamed that anyone see me in so weak a form, I was always so strong and brave. I feared nothing, nothing could ever hurt me…. Except for an overwhelming love for my family, that is… “I was on duty that night, remember? When your sister called 911 from the car outside, I heard it in my patrol car and I raced right over. I knew it was you, I saw it in your eyes.” He caressed my cheek, then my hair, and finally rested his fingertips on my trembling lips as if to still them. I gazed at him with a feeling that shocked me right down to my core.. I was looking at him with love. My eyes hardened with bitterness as I remembered something. “Where is he?” “Paying, for having laid a finger on you. I shot him. He’s dead.”

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