‘I believed in you!’ Sandra bellowed ‘and this is how you repay me, getting yourself expelled from school! - Very clever thinking Tess’
She ran her fingers through her hair; her face was tired and drawn from a hard day’s work at the diner. She held the letter in her hand reading it over and over again in her head. Not another one she thought.
She sloped over to the couch and slumped herself into it. Her legs suddenly weary and unsteady ‘Tess what are we going to do? I can’t look after you anymore, it’s just too much. When your dad died I thought it would be okay, that you were just going through a tough time but now, well now I’m not so sure.’ Sandra gazed over at her daughter afraid of what would happen after what she was about to say next, there was bound to be a blazing row she just knew it, any second now her daughter would scream and shout cursing her and abusing her with her foul tongue. Then she would march out of the house and not come back until the early hours of the morning.
’ I’m sorry Tess but I can’t take much more of this and neither can Bill, we decided that if you failed again this time, then you’d have to go and stay with your aunt and uncle in Ireland. It’s the only option, I’m so sorry’ Sandra hung her head; she loved her daughter but yet knew this was the only way of helping Tess. Her eyes filled with tears, she had dreaded this day.
But the outburst didn’t happen nor did the cursing or the downpour of abuse, just Tess’ voice, which was shaking and tiny.
‘What are you saying mum? - Are you going to send me away? You can’t- please it’s me. It’s always been me and you mum we’ve always stayed together no matter what, remember what you said schools and friends come and go but families stick together’. She went over to her mother her hands trembling and her eyes misting over with tears.
‘No Tess I’m sorry, you just can’t keep getting away with this sort of behaviour’ she took Tess’ hands in hers and kissed them.
‘But I don’t even know Aunt Caroline and Uncle Richard, and they don’t know Me.’ wept Tess, her voice quivering now uncontrollably. ‘Tess please don’t make this any harder than it already is. I’ve told Caroline and Richard all about you and they agree it’s the right thing to do, Bill will help me with the rest of the arrangements.’ She tried to implore her daughter, wanting her to understand how difficult this decision was to make but knew that there wasn’t any words to explain the way she felt.
‘Oh I see,’ Tess snapped, whipping her hands away sharply and snarling at her mother, ‘You’ve been planning this right from the start haven’t you? - Your just trying to get me out of the way so that you and your precious Bill can be together!’ she stood up trying to get as far away as she could from her mum. She looked around the room picking up a family photo, one which had her father in it, Tom. Her mother and herself- one where everyone was smiling, each one with an ice cream in their hand, that day they had travelled down to the coast. Not long before her father had died. Those were happier times, when her father was alive.
Her body began shaking furiously with rage her head ticked over and over what had happened on that day, the way that everyone was enjoying themselves, the way that everyone was happy- The way that she was happy and the way that she’d never be that happy again. She threw the photo, not caring where it went just as long as she didn’t have to look at it ever again.
Why did he have to die and leave her behind? It was her that had to pick up the pieces and try to carry on, trying to help herself and her mother to carry on with their lives. The photo smashed behind Sandra, the glass shattered onto the couch, she ripped into Sandra again. ‘I’m not surprised either; it’s just like you, when the going gets tough the tough get going! It wasn’t exactly long after dad had died that you jumped into bed with that dickhead , men were queuing around the block to have a go at the widowed Mrs Hampshire and you weren’t one to say no, were you!?- But then what am I to expect. I mean I’m the daughter of the local slut!' She laughed at her mother, who was now crying and pleading for her daughter to stop.
‘Stop, Tess, please stop, I can’t take it anymore’ Sandra fell to her knees picking up the photo that had now fallen onto the floor. The glass cut her hands, blood trickled out onto the carpet but Sandra didn’t seem to notice she began cleaning the image but her blood stained it, covering Tom’s face.
‘No, stop it-help, why?’ She looked up at her daughter her eyes pleading for help, ‘help me Tess please. I can’t do this....’ Tess knew that this picture was her mother’s favourite, she had even bought an expensive frame to put it in, not a cheap one she would usually buy- but Tess was hurt and she wanted her mother to feel pain the way she did. She crouched in front of her mother taking the picture into her own hands, she smiled a fake smile. She began ripping the photo in half then again until it was finally left into tiny pieces scattered on the ground. Her mother cried out, her whole body shuddering violently with every tear ‘NO! Stop it Tess!’ her mother screeched lunging towards Tess and grabbing the remainder of the image and clutching it tightly in to her chest ‘I hate you!’ She screamed her lungs bursting and her belly filling with anger. ‘You’ve ruined my life!’
Tess stared at her mother blankly, her eyes made of a stone wall, finally she understood what her mother had just said, her face twisted into a painful shape, one of utter anguish but also of fury.
‘Finally some truth- but don’t worry mother’ she whispered ‘I won’t be here for long so you can hold that close to your heart as well’ She ran from the room smacking the door shut behind her. Her face streamed with tears.
