I Wanted It So Desperately To Be Real [William Beckett] 9

Knowing that I had secured the date I wanted for the dance made me feel slightly victorious over the next few days. Sheridan was clearly oblivious to this as she paid me no extra attention than she had on Monday, instead opting to continue her bragging about her weekend with the boys whenever I was within earshot. I didn't care though. His visit to my house on Monday afternoon surpassed anything she brought up. Not to mention the fact that I didn't need to lie to William in order to get her out of his life.

Although I was more than ecstatic about the fact that I now had a date for the dance, the lack of outfit, or even any idea of what I was going to wear was hovering over me like a dark cloud. I knew that most of the girls would take advantage of the theme and dress up as something completely scandalous but I wanted to be classy about it. Kirstie suggested that if worst came to worst, we could always just trade clothes and go as each other, but I wanted something a tad more inventive than that. It's not like I owned anything Kirstie or Jess would want to wear to a dance anyway.

The three of us had turned the mall inside out looking for something to wear, but nothing seemed to be what we wanted. We tried costume stores, boutiques, chain stores and even a few children's clothing stores on the off chance that they would have something that could fit us. Every time we would enter a store we would leave it with our heads hanging a little lower than before. It was starting to become awfully nerve-racking.

"Why don't you try a thrift store? They can have some amazing finds and they're always cheap." My mom suggested one night when I had Kirstie and Jess over, obviously sensing that the stress was climbing as the date approached.

"We've tried them too. Nothing." Jess groaned while lazily resting her head in her hands.

"Maybe I have a few things you girls could borrow. I used to love buying dresses. I ended up buying too many and they never get worn." My mom suggested, her eyes drifting to the ceiling as she thought.

Kirstie and Jess both looked at me sceptically. My mom never exactly went out to places that needed the type of attire we were hoping to wear to the dance. However, I knew that back in the day she was the girl everyone went to for fashion advice.

"It's worth a try." Kirstie shrugged, after we took too long to come to a silent conclusion.

Joy radiated off my mother as she practically skipped over to her room. I felt glad that she was so happy about this as she pulled out several dresses from her closet, scattering them over the bed until the blankets were no longer visible. Kirstie and Jess lunged for them, obviously desperate to search through the advancing pile in case it held the outfit they had been searching for so desperately.

A yellow halter dress caught Kirstie’s eye and captured her heart once she was dressed in it. It made her look incredibly beautiful, not that she wasn’t already, but it seemed to make her appear to be even more radiant. Jess decided on a dark purple lace strapless dress that hugged her every curve, highlighting her near-perfect figure. Nobody could have denied how amazing they looked and although they weren't exactly being somebody else, they weren't really being themselves since the dresses weren't theirs.

Much to my dismay, nothing in my mom's wardrobe jumped out at me, but I settled for a periwinkle blue silk dress, with a layer of chiffon on the top and two spaghetti straps securing it over my shoulders. The way it fell a few inches above my knee made it long enough to look relatively modest but still short enough to be stylish. The thing I liked most about it was that it didn't wash me out like most of the other dresses did, but rather enhanced my pasty skin tone.

As much as I loved the dress on the hanger, I didn’t seem to be the type of dress that hid all my flaws and highlighted all the things I liked about myself, unlike my friends’ dresses seemed to. Regardless of the fact that I knew that I shouldn't be so affected by it, as I looked reasonably decent, I couldn't stop it from dampening my spirits. It hung too tightly around my hips and stomach and the thin straps made my shoulders look extremely broad.

"Come on Mel! We want to see what it looks like!" Kirstie’s voice rang out from outside my bedroom door.

My limbs turned to lead, not wanting to let anybody else in. My lips pursed, ensuring that no sound would escape from them. I stood in front of my mirror, examining every detail of my reflection. I couldn’t even face my own eyes, as I knew I would be able to see all the self doubt that was currently taking over me reflected in them. Feeling it was one thing, but seeing that it was there and that it was real was something else. My eyes instead scanned over the rest of my body, subconsciously began picking at my flaws like dead skin. I couldn’t stop, no matter how much I didn’t want to be doing it. Hot tears burned behind my eyes before Kirstie and Jess reached the amount of time they would wait for me to open the door myself and thrust it open.

"Oh my gosh Mel, you look amazing!" Kirstie cried out, encasing me in a hug.

"That dress is so your colour. William will be ecstatic when he sees you." Jess added.

They obviously weren’t looking at the same person I was seeing in my reflection or they were just saying it because felt they had to. I fingered the side seam of my dress, not wanting to focus on the empty compliments they were throwing at me. As for William, I didn’t even want to think about what would run through his mind when he saw me. I had never worn anything so form-fitting in front of him and needless to say, I was worried.

"William, huh? Is he your mystery date?" My mom asked me, walking in.

My face flushed with embarrassment which I could clearly see in the mirror. I had kept the fact that I was taking William unknown to my mother, due to the fact that I knew I would be teased about it mercilessly. Sadly, the cat was now let out of the bag.

"He's not really my date. More like a guy I'm going with as friends." I mumbled, becoming even more focused on the seam of my dress.

I felt the burning tears at the back of my eyes melt away as the worries that previously occupied my mind were taken over by embarrassment and awkwardness. Although these weren’t exactly pleasant feelings, they were much more comforting than my earlier thoughts.

"That won’t be the case once the night is over!" Kirstie laughed. My already scarlet cheeks only burnt even hotter.

"I wouldn't mind. He's a lovely boy. Very polite." My mom said.

Despite the fact that she was completely humiliating me, it was a good thing to know. My mom approving him was a great thing, even if I didn't expect this to go anywhere. However on the off chance that he did end up liking me as more than a friend, I knew that I wouldn’t have to have some difficult Romeo and Juliet type romance. Although those were great in stories, I would prefer sometimes a little less stressful. Not that I’m saying it would ever happen, despite the fact that I would love it to, but a girl can dream.

"Good to know that you approve of your future son-in-law." Jess joked.

This was getting extremely ridiculous and although it was all in good fun, I needed to set some things straight. "Okay even if we were together, which we aren't, there's still no way that we would be getting married. I want to actually have a life before I decide to tie the knot, thank you very much."

"This is your life." Kirstie pointed out.

"And it's a pretty amazing one. I mean, you have us as best friends." Jess added.

"Not to mention a gorgeous future husband." Kirstie said.

I let out a small laugh while carelessly picking up a pillow off of my bed and tossing it at her. The four of us roared with laughter as it hit her square in the face even though I hadn’t put my effort into my throw. Despite how stupid my friends could be, I loved them to pieces. Nobody else could take my mind off of my worries this easily, even if it was only temporary. The fact that I only had a few friends hardly even mattered because the ones I had seemed to be all I needed.

***

It was now Wednesday and only two days remained before the dreaded dance was finally here. Everything had finally been sorted out, or at least organisation wise. We were all going to meet up at Adam's house, where we were going to calm our nerves and heighten our excitement with a few drinks before piling into a cab and getting dropped off at school for the dance. After the dance we were just going to go our separate ways.

Although I knew that the event wasn't really as frightening as I was making it out to be, my nerves were pestering me like a restless two year old. My mind would play out different ways the events of the night could unfold and they would either surpass a perfect night or be worse that I could ever handle. All I wanted was to be able to imagine an average night. Dreaming of perfection set my expectations too high, while thinking of the worst that could happen just made me want to stay home and spend my night with a tub of ice-cream and a lame movie instead of my friends. There didn't seem to be a happy medium that I could play out in my head and believe it.

Even with all my worries, I had been able to decide that my costume would look decent as a modern day Cinderella, seeing as my dress was relatively the same colour as the Disney Cinderella's dress. I had managed to dig a pair of heels I could actually walk in out of my mom's closet, as well as a silver necklace with a crystal heart pendant that rested in the hollow of my neck. I was confident about my outfit, but I just wasn't sure if I had what it took to pull it off. Every night of the past week I had spent the time wearing my outfit and examining myself in the mirror, trying to think of ways to tweak my attire with hopes that I could end up looking as beautiful as Kirstie and Jess were going to. Obsessive as it may sound, I just wanted my look to be as perfect as it could be, seeing as it was one of the few things I had control over. I didn’t have the entire say on how the dance would unfold, but I knew that the way I ended up looking was in my hands so I wanted to make the most of it.

As I was threading the hook of an earring through my ear, to see if this pair would look better than the ones I was previously wearing, my phone began vibrating on my dresser. I set down the other earring and made my way over to my phone. It didn't stop vibrating after a few seconds, indicating that it was a phone call rather than a text message. I felt my body tense as I read William's name on the screen, but forced myself to answer it regardless.

"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver, trying to act calm although I was feeling the opposite.

I didn’t get why he was calling me. He rarely calls me. We just send text messages to each other.

"Hey Mel, it's William."

Like I didn’t know that already.

"Oh hey." I replied. I didn't know what else to say.

"Are you excited about Friday?" He asked, a certain happiness embedded in his words.

"I am. I have my dress and everything." I replied, not mentioning the fact that I had been wearing it every day since I had decided on it.

"That's great. Hey I was thinking about the dance and I was wondering if you want to stay at mine after the dance. That way your mom wouldn't have to pick you up and you wouldn't have to ride with a sketchy taxi driver."

Wow. This was not what I was expecting when I saw his name flashing on my phone. What the hell was I supposed to do? I would have said yes in a heartbeat, if it weren't for the nagging voice in the back of my brain, telling me that I wasn't ready for this. Where was I going to sleep? What was I going to do about my awkwardness with Mike? How was I going to get my stuff to his house? Those were only a few of the questions that were circulating through my mind like a rabid tornado.

"I...I'm not sure if I should..." I started to say.

"Well then I want to taxi to your house with you." He said this statement with a strong voice, as if I wasn’t meant to argue with it.

"William, that's just stupid. You live in the opposite direction from school." I tried to coax him out of the idea. It was worth a shot.

“Which is a good reason why you should stay with me. You can get dropped off at mine, then leave your stuff there and we can go to Sisky's together. Then I can take you home in the morning. Because you know, if I do have to spend extra on a taxi, it will be your fault."

I could just hear the smirk on his lips as he spoke. He was making a logical point though and once again, he was causing me to cave. My heart beat faster at the prospect of me staying the night with him, even if it was in a completely platonic way.

"Um...what about Mike? Won't it be awkward?"

"What about...oh. No, it will be fine. It was more than a month ago. Don't worry about it." He brushed it off as it was nothing. Maybe I was worrying too much.

"Hang on. As lame as this is, I need to check with my mom." I confessed.

"No problem."

I left my room, in search of my mom, who I found in the kitchen. She seemed to be attempting to make some sort of pie.

I inhaled deeply before I started. I knew a long winded speech would be needed in order to make her say yes, even if she was pretty lenient. "Mom, I know this is probably a long shot but can I stay at William's after the dance? I know it probably sounds kind of-"

"Sure." She interrupted me with a smile on her face. "I trust you Melissa. You're not stupid enough to do anything I wouldn't do myself."

My mouth dropped open involuntarily with shock. I was not expecting it to be this easy. I was supposed to have to bed and propose all the reasons why it would be a good decision. She wasn’t just supposed to say yes right off the bat.

"Okay, I'll go tell him now." I said slowly, making my way back to my room.

"Yeah, I can do that." I spoke, once the phone was near my ear.

"Great.” He sounded genuinely happy, which sent shivers through my body. I hated how he could do that just by saying one word. “Around what time will you come over?"

"Around quarter to seven. I'll see you then?"

"Sure. I can't wait."

My mouth curved into a smile as he said this, despite my efforts to repress it in order to try and prove to myself that I could control my emotions. I guess I was wrong.

"I should get going. I have an assignment to do and I really should finish it."

It wasn’t a lie but the assignment wasn’t due for two weeks and I had almost completed it. I just needed to get off the phone to prevent any awkward conversations from presenting themselves.

"I'll leave you to it then." He said carelessly.

"Yeah. Bye, William."

"Bye Mel."

I brought my finger to the end call button before playing the phone back on my dresser. I took another glance at myself in the mirror and although I only had one earring in my ear and my hair had just been put in a loose ponytail I knew that of all the times I had worn this dress, this was the most radiant I had looked so far.