Confessions Of A Not-So-Holy Guardian Angel {1}

Hey Readers! Don't worry!I didn't get confused with the titles. I'm just experimenting. I dunno if Ill continue this.I tend to be a whimsical writer...

Kevin Lewis is the sexiest boy at Thornton High. He’s captain of the football team; lead guitar in his band; dresses strictly in Abercrombie and Fitch; and has been blessed with the cutest dimples.

Drooling, yet? Well, I would be too…if I wasn’t his guardian angel.

Confession # 1: Kevin Lewis is scheduled to die in about…oh, I don’t know…a month and a half? And I’m supposed to save his soul before he dies.

God’s idea, not mine. You see, Kevin has a problem. Actually, he has several problems. He’s basically guilty or regularly indulging in ALL seven deadly sins. And if he doesn’t morph into a saint before he kicks the bucket, I loose my job.

And that would totally suck. Because then the Minister of Guardian Angels, Gabriel, would make me guard the Gates of Heaven instead, which is like the most boring job EVER in the history of angelic duties.

Perhaps it would have been a little easier trying to coax Kevin into doing something right for the first time in his life in I had paid a little bit more attention in Angel School instead of checking out pictures of Michael, the archangel, in our textbook. But you really can’t blame me…I mean, the guy is IMMACULATE (no pun intended). In fact, he’s more breathtaking in real life than he is in the textbook.

I remember approaching him with shaking hands, asking him to sign his autograph on my wings. Oh, but that was so long ago…

Confession # 2: Sometimes I tend to go off on random tangents and end up gushing over Michael for an hour. If it happens again, you’ll have to stop me.

At the moment, Kevin is staring intently at the back of the girl sitting in front of him in class. He reaches forward, slipping his hands under the collar of her blouse and toying with her bra strap.

Oh dear…duty calls. Stop doing that Kevin! You know it’s wrong!

Kevin shows no sign that he has heard me in his head. Either way, he doesn’t stop and the girl doesn’t protest. In fact, she leans back, her face red with adolescent fantasy.

Kevin! Stop that now! What if the teacher sees?

I should know better than to scare him with authorities. They don’t scare him. But what else am I supposed to do?

I floated around him aimlessly, trying to figure how to make him stop. I prayed to God that he would say something like “Freeze, mortal! Your sins have condemned you!” But atlas, God was currently in a meeting with the Department of Divine Intervention. He wasn’t going to hear me now.

I watched as Kevin snaked his arm around her chest, reaching for a certain body part I shall not mention. The teacher has still not noticed at this point.

“SERAPHINA!” A voice in my ear boomed. I looked up started to see Gabriel floating in front of me.

“What do you want your highness?!” I said, sarcasm oozing from my tone.

Confession # 3: I am totally jealous of Gabriel. I mean, we’re the same age and we studied together and yet HE gets the Minister post while I’m stuck here looking after stupid mortals that won’t listen to me.

“I came to fire you.”

“WHAT!?? But I’ve been with Kevin since he was conceived! And it’s not MY fault you paired me up with a juvenile delinquent!”

“He wouldn’t be a problem if you’d just taught him properly!”

“He won’t listen!”

“That doesn’t matter now. We’re replacing you, Seraphina. You are now appointed to guard the Gates.”

“You suck.” I informed him.

“I know you have picked up the colloquial dialect of the mortals, but please, refrain from using them in my presence.”

Ugh…what a prick.

“Okay, how about this?” I said. “You tell God to turn me into a human for a month and a half. If I can get Kevin to see me, meet me, HEAR me… then maybe he’ll listen.”

Gabriel thought for a while. “I think that goes against the Guardian Handbook.” He said, mindlessly taking it out of a pocket in his cloak. Omg, he actually carries it around.

“Just ask God! He’ll be willing to negotiate the changes!”

And so that’s how it all started my mortal friends. One moment I was a guardian angel screaming every five seconds at Kevin. And the next, I became a new addition to the class, disguised in the skin of a human girl.