Gossip Girl: The Review Blog. Book1:Informative Entry.

Ichigo Kurosaki, Bleach

Hey people! This section is pretty short as well, so I thought I’d do it quickly. This section wasn’t boring like the last one. The events in the previous chapter, we could have done without…except for maybe the breakfast scene but everyone thing else was pretty much useless. Now, for non-readers of Gossip Girl I foreshadowed that Jenny’s calligraphy thing will come in handy…it does in this section. The title…yeah, I couldn’t think of anything else, and it does sort of make sense, I mean after reading the first chapter of this section, you can tell she’s Asian failing.

Well, in the first chapter, Serena visits her college advisor, who tells her about her grades. Now, let me sum it up for you, Serena is Asian failing. For those who don’t know, you’re probably Asian failing too, or you’ve just never heard of the term and that’s completely normal. Asian failing is when you have all A’s and an B. When you think it’s enough, it really isn’t…well some for Asian anyways. So us Asians, like to overachieve, we like to go above and beyond. And well, frankly speaking if you get an A- that’s an Asian fail. So anything, an Asian parent would yell at is considered an Asian fail. It’s not really a failure but you didn’t try your best. And well, as the chapter title says, Serena is Asian failing. She doesn’t do any extra-curricular activates which doesn’t make up for her average grades. And so because of this problem her college advisor advises (XD) that she take part in a school play since her English grade is so great. She decides to try out for Gone with the Wind, a play that the Interschool Drama club is going to do. After mooching around school she goes home. They describe her house for a bit and then she finds an invitation to an art opening which is going on right that second. So she goes and hangs around there for a while. And the funny thing is while there is scouted by the artists that run the opening, the Remi Brothers, two twin brothers who are…(as the book describes) extremely gorgeous…but are gay. They ask her to model for them, which she does and…Hehe, they take a picture of her belly button area and title it, “Serena.” Apparently, all of their pieces were like that so it wasn’t anything weird. A lady from the New York Transit Authority (They’re in charge of the buses) wants a new picture from the Remi brothers to put on the buses… and surprise, surprise, they choose Serena’s waist.

In the next chapter, the author tells us more about the Kiss on the Lips party. For one thing, the idiots who are planning the f*cking party don’t even know what a peregrine falcon is. My god, they’re seniors in high school and they don’t even know what a peregrine falcon is…well, that certainly explains a lot. Another thing is, it’s a no parents party…yes, that’s certainly gonna foreshadow something isn’t it? Blair, also, doesn’t seem like she wants Serena at the party considering the fact that she hasn’t changed the mailing address for her invitation yet. Well, anyways, the party committee is having some trouble with the cost of the stuff because apparently, they’re so rich they can’t afford it. However, Jenny comes to their rescue when she offers them her calligraphy skills and ends up doing the invitations in exchange for a place on the guest list. I have to admit that’s pretty slick. So yeah, that’s how Jenny’s calligraphy talent gets her into the party along with Dan and Serena, but that’ll come later.

In the final chapter of the section, Serena goes to the rehearsal for Gone with the Wind…but then she gets bored and leaves to go to try out for Vanessa’s film instead. If you forgot, it was the War and Peace love scene movie she was making. When she arrives, Dan is lying on a park bench (because they’re in a park) and Vanessa is giving instructions to Marjorie, a girl who is obviously the wrong choice for the part. After Marjorie totally “nails” her audition, Serena steps up to the plate, which causes Dan to get more into his role as well. Wow…I mean really, what a bum. Serena actually does a wonderful job, however, Vanessa, who is clearly jealous of Serena doesn’t give her the part…well, she doesn’t actually say it but she implies that Serena will not be getting the part…which she doesn’t. That was really lame of her. I mean really. While Serena is on the subway with Marjorie, they have a lighthearted conversation. Marjorie obviously thinks she’s going to be the one getting the part. They’re both playing the sympathy game in their heads. Marjorie even apologizes to Serena when she gets off saying, “Sorry if you didn’t get the part. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Man, this book is full of annoying people…

If you know me in real life, you’ll notice that I’ve been reading the Gossip Girl books all the time: during class, after school waiting for my ride, and so on. The number one comment I get is: “Oh my god, I love Gossip Girl.” I mean, wow, you’d think that people actually read the books but when I ask, “The books or the show?” they reply with, “The show…isn’t the guy that plays Nate is so hot?!” followed by a fan-girlish squeal. I’m like, “Umm…no.” According to the fans, one book is equivalent to one of two episodes. I demand to know why the f*ck the show goes by so fast so that the stinky freshman at my school can have their fan-girl fantasies about Nate’s actor while I have waste my precious time reading these stupid books. I mean, it’s not that I don’t like it, I find them entertaining but still, why do the writers have to rush everything? Shouldn’t they just make two or three chapters for every one episode so that the series can be longer and have more views? I mean really. One girl took the book, opened it up and was like, “Oh my god, this is so old. This is like the first season.” I was like…Wow, really? My cousin told me that the show’s plot is completely different from the books but the overall concept is still the same. I didn’t know that many people watched Gossip Girl. I thought it wasn’t that popular. Oh well, the people that are actually old enough to read the series and have actually finished it, tell me that the show is really good. They picked the right actors and everything but the books are still better. There! Now, that’s the kind of response I wanna hear. Jeez! The show pisses me off, and I probably won’t ever watch it. But if I get the chance to, you’ll be hearing about it, and there will definitely be a paragraph reserved for a rant about god knows what.

Until next time,

Jay