Kiss me, Kill me. (Chp. 1 Death and Dreams)

(Chapter 2, the truth often hurts)
Three months later......

A loud rapping on my door broke into the lovely dreamless sleep I was having. "Wake up! God, Alex! Lazy much?" Came a snobby voice outside my room. Fiona, I realized with a mental growl. "Go away!" I screamed at the door angrilly. I was getting sick and tired of her preppy wake up calls.

A exasperated sigh wouldcome next, then Fiona would just walk away. She had been doing this for the past few days, and I had become aware of the vicious cycle of things.

But the sigh didn't come. Instead it was more of a determined growl. "I'll come in there, Alex! Don't make me come in there!" Fiona said, her serious tone not to be taken lightly. "Come in here and you'll be sorry, Fi! I sware to god I will smother you with a pillow." I said weakly. I heard a sigh, and it took practically all the energy I had to smile in triumph.

But there were no footsteps away, instead came her voice, "You can't spend all your time cooped up in there Alex. It's not healthy! Mom and Dad are worried." I snorted lightly at the thought of Rosemary and Jeff being worried about me at all.They weren't worried about me, they were worried about theirownimage. I mean, what would people say if they knew the adopted daughter ofJeff and RosemaryKoal were toskip school? I bet they would practically have a heart attack!
"You know as well as I do that the only reason this is a problem is because Jeff doesn't want to lose the 'power'. They don't care about me, Fi." I said, the truth no longer stinging. I had learned to block out some of the pain of the truth. the fact that nobody cared about me, the fact that the only person I ever loved had died in my arms, the fact that I could never kiss another boy ever again.......

I had come to accept those truths. It was hard at first....Hard to stop crying and think logically. Now, I was trying my best to become numb, and never feel anything ever again. Fiona didn't say anything at first, because she really couldn't argue the point. I was right and she knew it. "Oh, please. You think your life is sooo bad. Your all mopey all the time, but do you know what? Everyone dies. It's hard to accept, I know. Do you know how truly lucky you are? People in third world countries have family members die everyday. And you know what they come home to? Nothing. They have nothing, they own nothing. And look at you! You were lucky enough to get adopted by my parents who have money. Death is just another part of life, Alex." she said, her voice seeming almost brutally pained to have to say that to my face.....or rather my door.

A lump formed in my throat at the truth. I guess I had begun to accept my own truth, but not others. It was painful having to be slammed on like that. But the part that I hated most was that it was true.....Most people didn't have a lot and I was moping around. That was a deep moment for a snobby girl like Fiona. I opened the door and looked at her."I.....I...I'll get ready for school." I mumured. She nodded, and walked gracefully down the steps.

Closing the door again, I went to my closet and picked out a clean pair of clothes: Ablackshirt that said 'Beware, I bite.' on the front in red letters, some jeans, and some black flip flops. It was kind of plain in comparison of the outfits I would wear before, but I had to start somewhere.My bathroom was a mess, but I ignored it, because the maid would pick it up later. I stepped intothe shower and turned up the hot water. The hot water was a blissful euphoria on my cold body.

I stepped out of the shower feeling as though a small weight had lifted off my shoulders. It was small, but it felt better. I also very much like the fact that I smelled likestrawberries.

After my clothes were on, Idid my hair (Including straightning my shoulder length, wavy, jet black hair.)and makeup. Ismiled half-heartedly at the efforts and went downstairs.

Shockedfaces seemed to greet me at the breakfast table (All except Fiona, who was instead wearing a smug smile. I bet Rosemary had paid her to get me out of my room....), which washalf expected."Hi, everyone." I practically whispered to them all.Jeffpeered over the newspaper. "Ah, good. Your finally out." He grunted. I pretended I hadn't heard him and instead glanced over to Owen, my little brother. He was the only one out of this family that didn't seem to have something shoved up his ass.

He met my gaze with a smile. "Will you drive me to school today? I don't like riding the bus......there are second graders on there." he explained. "Of course. Wouldn't want those big mean second graders to get you."I said jokingly. His smile doubled in size. "I better get going. Don't want to be late." I said to no one in particular. No one said anything, so Owen and I went out to my caddy. Yes, I have a cadillac. It was a sweet sixteen birthday present, because heaven forbid we don't show off for once.

I waved goodbye to Owen as he slid out of the passenger side of my vehicle. He hugged me and ran inside the building.

I sighed as the High School came into view. I didn't have to be here, right? I was seventeen, I could drop out if I wanted to....I waved the idea off instantly. "No, you can't just quit like that. Make something of yourself." I told myself aloud as I pulled into the parking lot of Winslow High. People gawked and stared as I pulled in.

I could already hear the rumors buzzing in my head. The pitiful stares, the 'how are you feeling?' test. School had only started two weeks ago, and I could tell most people probably didn't think they would ever see my face again. I rubbed my forehead, plastered a blank look on my face, and stepped out of the car. My backpack felt heavy, and so did my entire body at the stare of the people in the parking lot.

'Just make it into the main office, Alex. C'mon, you can do that. Just go inside....' I thought to myself. I was paying little attention to what was in front of me, it was no wonder I ran into someone.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry it was-" I began, but I stopped as I stared into his eyes.

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Thanks for reading.