hello, morning.
open your eyes. has it been a dream all this time?
the freedom. of uninturupted thought. god, i love sleep.
i smell something. look. it's raining. tiny blue dots everywhere. no, not blue. dull, grey. almost clear. they would be clear, if they hadn't been polluted by humanity. just like our minds. do this. do that. conform. be normal. god, i never realised how much i hate that word.
if nobody listens, then who's gonna hear?
if nobody listens, will we disappear?
sam roberts, them kids.
oh, it's my alarm. it must be time to wake up. 6:30. why did i get up so early, again? oh yeah. i need to help prepare myself for school. it comes so soon. a place where learning and friendship is twisted into failing and enemies. i just love it there.
oh yeah, i need to meet jenna at nine. she wants to change her courses. today is that specail day the school let's us. oh, yay. note my sarcasim. hey, wait a minute. i smell drugs. weed, actually. someone is smoking on another balcony. great, now i want some. okay, just breathe it in a little. mmm, nice. my window is glorious. it lets this scent in so perfectly. well, the rain stopped. thats intresting. i did'nt notice. what's the time? 6:42. i better get in to the shower.
hot. very hot water. that's what i like. this water is clean. clear as glass. we get to bathe in clean water. the earth can take our pollution. it'll be okay. as i bathe in clean water, i use chemicals to get clean. shampoo, body wash. i bet there is something up with this soap. but, nevermind. it works. i hear my dad leave for work. i havent done anything productive all summer. i am a blob. now i rinse away the chemicals. my heart, the water drownds out all other sounds. past the raging splashes on my body, and my head. i hear it. pumping. again, and again. the sky is blue here, in this place. and the grass is oh, so green. open your eyes. not again. who knows how long i have been standing here. oh great the knob is broken. it's always so hard to turn off. there, i got it.
hmm. that's my reflection. i am not good enough.
where is that bag. there it is. make-up. you make me alright, i guess.
foundation, first. a foam one. then powdered cover-up. then of course, a little blush. now it's time for them eyes. blue, like the polluted rain. they're almost grey. just the same as rain. first eye shadows, browns, tans and beige. then comes the thin black liner. mascarra. i am presentable. who came up with makeup? i should kill them. this is barely worth my time.
well, barely.
toast. i want toast.
crumbs. pick at them. i wonder if i will ever be loved. by a boy, i mean. some beautifulboy. who can save me. it's so cliche and well, lame. but i want it. i want to go to some amazing concert and sing along with an arm around me. i want to sneak around his house and do things we shouldnt. we might regret. but, hey. we're just kids anyways. now i am getting carried away. ring, ring. it's the phone. i answer. the time is now 8:12.
"Hello?" why is that always a question. Why is a phone answered with a greeting. why not, who is there? that makes sense.
"I am downstairs. I got here early. Want to leave?" jenna. it's her. i guess i am ready and everything.
"Sure. Hold on." i hang up. after i have a jacket and my bag, i leave. the lock is golden. and fake. and ugly. i hate it. i don't even know why. i just do. it's like me, i guess. all painted up, fake almost. i run to the main entrance of the apartments. jenna and i instantly spring up a conversation. i love her. she's the best. i look at her slightly as we walk. she trys to conform. alot. her long blonde locks and blue eyes get her far in the world of popularity. why does she fidget so much? always touching her hair, clothes, make-up. perfecting, i guess. school. we've reached hell.
i hate it here.
exspecailly in the summer.
why am i here, again?
oh, jenna's courses.
and there are other kids around. waving us down.
i hope i look okay.
a plaster a fake smile on my face and walk towards them.
i know jenna is thinking the same thing. we all are, right?
"I am so happy we get to see people, eh, Elena?"
okay, so maybe we arent thinking the same things.
it's just me.
i hear it again. my mp3 is playing.
if nobody listens, then who's gonna hear?
if nobody listens, will we disappear?
i just don't understand why the kids don't know how to dance to rock and roll
i said the kids don't know how to dance to rock and roll
they're always on the phone and they always gotta have control
and now the kids don't know how to dance to rock and roll
sam roberts, them kids.
