I stood at the curbside, waiting for Aidan to arrive. He was late and I found myself sitting around on the ground, just looking straight up at the sky.
Today was the day that Aidan would be dropping off all of my stuff. Originally, I had suggested that I would get movers, but he said that I didn’t have that many things and that he could just drive it over to the dorms.
But I knew that the real reason why I wanted to use movers was because I just didn’t want to see him again. It was awkward enough, being that we had already broken up, but having him pack up all my things and then drop it off at my place just made it even more official. Thus, making us broken. And it made me feel even worse.
I knew that it was my fault. Because of my unresolved feelings for Alex, I could never commit to a real, lasting relationship with Aidan. He deserved better. I was someone who was hopelessly in love with her former best friend and would pathetically lead her life on that, whereas Aidan needed to find someone who would love him, and only him, unconditionally.
But it still hurt. No matter what, I did love Aidan. I just didn’t love him the most. It was hard, all of it. Seeing him again would only make everything even harder. If I could, I would avoid all costs of seeing him again. But I knew that in order to get past this, to receive the closure we were both seeking, we needed to meet again for the last time and move forward afterwards.
So there I was, sitting on the curbside in front of the dorms, staring straight up at the clear, blue sky.
There was a car honk and I looked up to see Aidan’s sleek, black car pulling up by the curb I was sitting on. He pulled to a stop, parking, and opening his door to step out. I stood up, pulling down on my white shorts as I watched him round back to the trunk, opening it to take out some boxes. He tossed them lightly over to the curb, taking each one out one by one.
I watched as all my belongings were piled up on the side of the sidewalk, accumulating higher and higher as Aidan kept on tossing each box and bag he found in his trunk. For a moment, I wondered how much space he had in the back of there, but it all dropped when I saw the look on his face.
It was constrained, as if he was trying his best to show himself off as expressionless as much as he could. But I knew that it was harder for him than it was for me.
I walked over to him, taking his hand. He froze, half of him already bent over in his trunk. He didn’t move as I stood there next to him, taking a hold of his hand. I pulled on it and he finally turned towards me. I wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling the familiar form towards me as I rested my head lightly against his shoulder. We stood there, still, in each other’s arms for a long time.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out between us,” I told him.
He put a hand on the back of my head, playing with my hair.
“Do you love him?” he asked me.
I didn’t say anything.
He took my silence as his answer and sighed deeply, pulling away from me. He resumed pulling out boxes out of the trunk and then closed the trunk, turning away from me and opening the car of his door open. He paused and looked over at me.
He finally smiled and said, “I hope things work out for you. Call me if you need anything.”
I smiled back, tears already spilling, and nodded. “Sure.”
And with another halfhearted grin in my direction, Aidan got into his car and drove away.
While I turned to stare down at my boxes.
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Eh, short. I know. I just need to get back into the story. It’s weird with school and all. I’m just not used to it.
Hey, hey. I got switched into Fashion and Design by pure accident. I think it may be a sign. Stupid Chemistry.
