“Cut the crap, Sophia,” Aaron muttered as he sipped his morning coffee. The harsh tone of his words wasn’t alarming to me. This was how it always was with us. A few words jabbed back and forth between us in a harsh, awkward manner. Our rapport was definitely not good. We had horrible communication, but our problem was more than that. I’d gotten used to it by now, but at first I almost couldn’t stand it. My brother and I weren’t always like this. When our parents were alive, he was happy and full of life. We used to play together every day, and sometimes he would even take care of me. Hide and seek was probably our favorite game. He would always run behind my bed and immediately shut his eyes. As soon as he started counting I’d rush to the closet with the wooden doors to hide. One day, I ran to the kitchen instead. I guess I figured if Aaron always found me in my closet, I should try something different. I strained my small ears to hear Aaron’s playful voice counting.
“27…28...29…” I didn’t wait until he got to thirty. I scrambled to one of the bottom kitchen cabinets in the corner of the room. I squished my tiny body into the cabinet, and I shut the door. It was very dark, and all I really remember is feeling alone inside. After Aaron didn’t immediately find me, I panicked. I couldn’t believe that I was still waiting. The cabinet was dark, cold and lonely. My closet was cozy with stuffed animals and teddy bears lining the floor. I couldn’t believe how different it felt in the kitchen cabinet. How alone. Unfortunately, the lonely feeling only got worse because Aaron didn’t immediately shove open the door with a huge smile on his face. I felt the urge to burst out of the cramped cabinet and find my big brother. Somehow, I felt like if I did that, I would disappoint him because I wasn’t as brave as he was. It seemed like Aaron was always so brave and smart. He always knew what to do in any situation, and he stood up for me when no one else would. I wanted him to think that I was as brave as he was. Maybe if I stayed in the cabinet long enough, he would consider me more than just his little sister. Looking back on this memory, I know it was stupid to think that, but maybe he would be proud of me. I guess since he spent so much time caring for me and protecting me, I wanted to do the same for him. I wanted so much to just run out of the kitchen cabinet, but I convinced myself to stay just a while longer. When Aaron finally opened the cabinet, tears were streaming down my face. I wanted to stop them, but they would not stop. I expected Aaron to open the door with a wide grin on his face. His smile always made me smile. But when Aaron saw me sobbing, he just stood there with the cabinet door wide open. To this day, I’m not sure why he didn’t immediately hug me and tell me to shut up or stop crying. His unique sense of humor would always make me smile and laugh. Instead, Aaron just stood there staring at me stupidly. I guess he didn’t expect to find me in a kitchen cabinet, and he definitely didn’t expect to find me with a tearstained face. Once he recovered from finding me, Aaron scooped me up in his brotherly embrace. Then, he did something even more alarming. My brother actually scolded me. He had never really yelled at me before. If I ever did anything stupid, he would speak his mind and tell me it was wrong. But this was different.
“Why did you run away?” His voice wasn’t the humorous laughter that it always was. “Why didn’t you hide in the closet like you always do? Don’t ever do that again, you hear me? I was worried sick about you!” His voice turned to a harsh noise that I had never heard before. It surprised me so much that I immediately ceased crying. I looked up at him with my now red, puffy eyes. He was staring down at me with a strange look on his face. Aaron was wearing a very concerned expression. Now I was certain of how much he cared about me.
Two things happened that day that I will never forget. One was that I developed claustrophobia. The time I spent in the dark, kitchen cabinet rubbed off on me. Ever since that day, I can’t stand to be in small, cramped spaces. I never thought that my fears would become a big deal in life, but it has proved to be that way. Sometimes I just feel like I have to get out of a room right away, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Sometimes I dream about that day when my fear first came upon me. And sometimes I don’t always sleep at night.
The second thing that happened to me that day is probably the most important. I actually realized what went on in Aaron’s head. He was not only a kind and loving person, but he actually needed me. This surprised me because of how much I needed him. I always thought that it was the other way around. It seemed like he always protected me, his little sister, and I would always need him because of that. I thought I would never stop needing him as long as I lived. I just couldn’t believe that he felt the same way about me. Even though we were small children, we had a bond that I thought could never be broken. His need for me was as strong as my need for him. If one of us fell, so did the other. Most siblings would always be fighting, so that was how I knew we were special. I never dreamed that there would be a day when I would stop needing him. However, such a day eventually came. It was probably the most important day of my entire life, and I’ll remember it until I die. This was the day that I became what I am now. I became someone important; someone with a purpose in the world. It’s hard to imagine that I was once the little girl crying in the kitchen cabinet. Maybe someday I’ll need Aaron again. In a strange way, I hope to death that I will need him again, someday. In fact, deep down inside, I might need him still. I hope that someday I’ll be able to recognize the feeling that I might still need Aaron. After all, even heroes need other heroes to look up to. It felt nice to have someone like Aaron for a brother. Of course, he still is my brother, but ever since our parents died, he’s never been the same since. I hope that someday I’ll be able to find out why he never talks to me anymore. I want to know why he’s changed since the car crash that killed our parents. It’s strange, but every time he looks at me, I feel hard and cold inside. I think that’s because he’s changed so much that he is hard and cold inside. I hope that someday he’ll change back to the brother I once needed, but for now I must concentrate on other things. Like my identity. The day I stopped needing Aaron was the day my identity changed. That fateful day was the day I became Leopard Lady.
