Best Chain E-mails

there was an italian,a japanese,and a mexican.the italian died of aids cuz he was fucking too much,the japanese died in a car crash cuz he got drunk,and the mexican died of lung cancer cuz he smoked too much.the three went to hell and the devil told the italian your going to be locked in a room with the hottest girls in the world and if you dont fuck any of them in a year ill sent you to heaven.the devil told the japanese that he is going to be locked in a room with the best beers in the world and if you dont drink any of them for a year ill send you to heaven.the devil told the mexican im going to lock you in a room with the best ciggs in the world and if you dont smoke any in a year ill send you to heaven.a year past and he found the italian fucking the girls and he said well you stay,he found the japanese all drunk and he told him well you stay,then he went to check the mexican and the devil started to count the ciggs and he said there all here,then he said well you go to heaven.then he said,im curious,how did you do it?then the mexican said"dont act like a fucking dumbass,you didnt give me a fucking lighter."

there was a papa bear,a brother bear,and a momma bear.the three little bears where eating supper when suddenly,papa bear and brother bear get up screaming,"who the fuck stole our fucking soup!!!!"then the momma bear screams out,"shut the fuck up you fucking idiots,i havent even served you yet!!!!"

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not. Please it's too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
Girl : hugs him
Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.
(in the paper the next day): A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only 1 had survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.