I Hate Everything About You [[Gerard Way]] Why Do I Love You? 001

Note to readers once again (I’m doing a lot of these tonight lol) I’ve decided this is not the last chapter. I’m aiming high with this story. There is many more chapters to come because I can’t let go of my characters with just 20 chapters. Yes, so roll on the next 100 chapters :)

Normal POV:

“Oh don’t be like that,” I muttered at Cleo who was sitting beside me on the bed. She gave me an unimpressed glare and then snuggled next to me before going to sleep. I envy dogs that way, they can just go to sleep so easily, regardless of the time of day and nothing clouds them while they sleep either. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t, for one I was a little cold and kept telling myself that in a minute I’d get up and close the window to stop the cold getting in, secondly Cleo was snoring delicately and that was interfering with my resting and thirdly they were in my mind. I couldn’t get them out at all. She was a poisonous snake. I could hear Frank walking in his room next door and I could hear the television buzzing downstairs, like the background music to my life. “That’s not my theme song,” I muttered to myself, shifting off of the bed and walking over to the c.d. player. Jimmy Eat World: The Middle. It was a mixed c.d. that I had made eons ago, showed how often I used my c.d. player. I-pod’s kicked c.d. player’s ass. I listened to it, ignoring the protests from the next door and Frank trying to block it out by playing the Misfits. I didn’t care, the two song blended together was actually kind of soothing. Then the next song came on and I jolted up.

“Frank shut that off!” I screamed, running into his room. “Please, I need to hear this song, I’ll keep it quiet,” I begged. He grudgingly put on his headphones and I walked back into my room. Until The Day I Die by Story of the Year used to be a song that didn’t connect with me on any level but now it connected to me so much it hurt. “He’s a douche,” I told myself quietly. My mum poked her head around the door. “First sign of madness,” she warned and I rolled my eyes and said goodnight. I was going to miss her. Tomorrow was a new day, it was a new life. I lay down on the bed, still unable to sleep and wondering if it would ever go away what I was feeling in the pit of my stomach or was it a permanent fixture of a broken person. It was two o’ clock when I decided I needed to do it. “You have nothing to lose,” I reminded myself quietly. “You have absolutely nothing to lose, you just need to get all of this crap off of your chest,” I was wearing these woolly boots that were apparently fashionable but I had packed all of my converse and any other respectable shoes. So in late summer, I trudged across the garden in my pyjamas and some boots that I hated. It was not exactly what my dream wardrobe was, but I wasn’t exactly there for a dream. I was there for a serious conversation which would end in me fleeing the state of New Jersey. I was leaving in six hours. I took out my phone and rang him. “Hello?” he sounded like he was wide awake.

“Hey,” I said quietly. “Can we talk?”

“We are talking,” he pointed out.

“Can you come out and talk to me?” I asked him, with a roll of my eyes. He sighed and told me he’d be right down. I bit my lip and waited for him at the fence. He had his hands shoved inside his jacket pockets and he walked towards me with a bit of a scowl. “If you’re here to try and start up the same conversation as earlier-“

“Gerard, I love you,” I blurted out. “I know keep saying that I hate you and I know I never say it because I hate saying it because I’m supposed to hate you for what you’ve done but I don’t,”

His mouth went into the shape of an “o” He didn’t say anything so I continued and let him stand there and listen. “I hate everything I’ve done because I know if I hadn’t gone off to Boston like a childish brat that I am, we probably would be together now and we wouldn’t be in this mess and I hate everything you’ve done because you should have just let me forgive you last year and we’d still be together,”

“No we wouldn’t,” he spoke eventually. “You’d resent me,”

“And I don’t resent you now?” I giggled. The two of us laughed a little. I bit my lip. “I know that you want to stay with Sara and everything but I just thought I should let you know that before I jet off to the other side of the U.S.A. but I just wanted to say that I hope you’re happy with her and I hope there is a baby,”

“There is a baby,” he insisted.

“Okay then,” I smiled briefly. “I’ll see you around then Gerard Way,” He nodded and we shook hands before laughing and hugging each other over the fence. “Have a good time in California,” he called after me.

“Oh, I will,” I winked at him before returning indoors. Frank came down the stairs, blinking in the light. “What are you doing?” he asked in an unaffectionate tone.

“Saying goodbye,” I replied.

“To who? The fucking monster in the back garden?” he asked crossly. I laughed a little and he couldn’t help but smile at me. Then I was crying. “Oh,” Frank realised what had happened. He hugged me and I sniffed, giving out to myself for crying. “It’s okay,” Frank assured me. I shook my head and clicked my tongue. “It’s not okay.” I murmured.

“It’s never okay with you-you drama queen,” Frank lightened the mood and I hit him playfully on the arm.

“I’m not a drama queen,”

“You should go into acting, not journalism,”

“Free press for you my dear brother, I picked this career for you,” I smirked.

“No you didn’t you picked it because you’re so opinionated you have to get paid for it,” Frankie corrected me. I rolled my eyes because I knew it was true. Eventually I went to bed because I knew I had to get up and be ready to move in four and a half hours. I slept for four hours and crawled out of bed and changed into my “California-friendly” clothes that had been carefully selected by my mother. A t-shirt and a pair of three quarter length denim trousers were appropriate apparently. I wasn’t a fan of the three quarter length fandango. I rolled my eyes and wore them away and then spent time digging around for my navy converse in my bag. “Have you got everything?” my mother demanded as I got into the car. I looked behind me and nodded.

I’d decided to leave, once again, without any fuss. I had said goodbye to everyone at some party they threw me a couple of nights ago and I didn’t need anyone to be standing there making me feel bad for moving. I knew the flight would be long so I had brought everything that I could possibly need. An i-pod, three books and a personal DVD player. Oh yeah, I was so spoilt it wasn’t even funny. I got into the airport eventually after an extended goodbye with my mum. She was actually kind of tearful. Funny, I distinctly remember her telling that she couldn’t wait till I “fucked off to California,” I sniffled as I got on the plane and waved bye bye to New Jersey but I felt very liberated for some unexplained reason.