After I was nourished back to health, the hospital released me. Not without a bill of course… I promised to pay in off, slowly but surly.
Sense then, I’ve been rebuilding my life. Drifting from Job to Job, normally having 3 at a time, I’ve been raising money to pay my rent, and my hospital bill.
I live in a small, but sturdy, apartment, right above a convince store. The owner below is very kind to me, very welcoming to my life story. Together we’ve estimated my age to be about 14-16. He’s even given me a name. Honto Jibun. As in Honto no Jibun, which means ‘True Self’.
The owner of the store, Muji-san, introduced me to his Son, and his band. Which I soon joined on Drums. Sometimes I even sang, but only back vocals. The bands name? Chintsuzai, which means “Painkiller”
I’m satisfied with my name, life, and current location. But I still wonder, “Who was I before Honto?”
(ff)
“Honto, for such a young girl, shouldn’t you be going to school?” Muji asked from behind the counter. This was one of my part time jobs, here at the store.
“I know. But I don’t have time for that.” I quickly finished cleaning the floors. Shou’s school was about to let out and we had band practice over at Sado’s house.
Shou was Muji-san’s son, the vocalist for Chintsuzai. He also played the guitar and was my first friend around my age.
Shou introduced me to Sado, who taught me drums. He was the drummer before me, but he took the place of the bass player, Tori, who moved away.
“Oh, you don’t have time for school, but you have time for three jobs, and a band.” Muji teased. Being a middle aged man, he was kind, and understanding. He knew my position in life, and supported me with all my decisions.
“you better get going, Honto.” Muji-san took the broom from my hands, “Shou’s not patient; I’ll take over from here.”
“Kay..” I nodded, throwing off my apron and running out the door.
While I run, I guess I’ll explain my look. Like most J-rock bands, Chintsuzai follows the Visual Kei style. Their for my hair has pink ends. When I put on my make up, and style my hair, that’s when I really look Visual kei.
As for the school girl uniform. It’s from Shou’s school. Don’t ask me how a teenage boy got a hold of a girls uniform. I’d rather not know. The red, mad face button? They say I was found with it when I was in my coma.
So it being a symbol of my past, I wear it at all times.
“Your late!” Sado shouted from the schools gates.
“bite me! I was working…” Gasping, hunched over, catching my breath.
GiGi, the guitarist, patted my back. For a guy, he was rather girly. Like Bou…if I had to compare.
The other Guitarist, Ren, GiGi’s twin brother, just stood their quietly. He doesn’t talk much. But when he does, it either has nothing to do with the current conversation and is really funny, or its so complicated and well spoken, with hidden meanings, that no one pays much attention.
Except Shou, He’s tried, over and over, to unravel Ren’s riddles. Which I get a kick out of.
“Oh look! It’s no good Tusna!” GiGi pointed out.
“At least I’m not a cross dresser!!!” The kid yelled back. He seemed to be in a bad mood.
“Oh hush you know I look good!” GiGi strikes a pose, with his press-on nails glittering.
The Tusna kid’s expression was clueless.
“HEY!” another voice scratched the air, “Don’t diss the tenth!!” At that moment GiGi was on the ground.
A gray haired boy stood over him, in the middle of us.
“What the hell?!” I yelled. The boy had kicked GiGi in the back of the head.
“Gokudera-kun!” Tusna yelled; seemingly surprised of his friends actions.
“This homo will suffer for looking down on you! Tenth!” The gray haired boy, Gokudera, picked up GiGi by his collar.
“Put him down!” Shou shouted, angrily; the same expression as Sado. Ren expression was simple but deadly with hatred and anger.
“You JERK!” I, luckily, had my drum sticks. Actually, I had to bring them for band practice… But either way, when you get hit with drum sticks, it hurts… trust me.
“Ouch! The hell?” The boy turned to me. He was pissed, and ready to take that cigarette from his mouth and put it out on my forehead.
Ren tried to strike at Gokudera’s turned back. But his fist was caught.
“Yamamoto!” Shou gasped, taken back from the sudden appearance.
“Yamamoto-kun!” Tusna had made his way over.
“What’s going on here?” Yamamoto smiled, taking this all to lightly.
(ff)
“Oh… Well I apologize for Gokudera-san’s rudeness.” Yamamoto smiled, childishly.
“Shut up, Baseball freak!” The Gokudera kid was rather angry about the whole thing.
“And We’re sorry about GiGi’s impolite nature. He didn’t mean it.” Shou smiled with Yamamoto.
Sitting there twilling drum sticks in my fingers, I sighed. What were we doing just sitting in a peace circle in front of the school gates? What about band practice? The sun was already going down.
“When two illogical natures collided, chaos spews as a bitter conclusion.” Ren was the only one who was sitting up right and proper. I bet this was all an act he put up to look cool.
“Um… I think he’s calling GiGi, and Gokudera-san stupid.” Shou seemed so proud of himself.
GiGi was used to the verbal abuse, but Gokudera seemed to be irritated.
Just as he was about to blow up in Ren’s face, there was an interference.
“What are you all doing on school grounds so late?” We all turned to see a boy with black hair, and a red band on the sleeve of his jacket that just sat on his shoulders.
“Hibari-san!” Everyone around me seemed to gulp.
“Leave, before I bite you to death.” He threatened.
What kind of threat is that?! Bite me to death?
Everyone stood up. But not for the same reason. My band, and their classmates began to walk away, I, on the other hand, stepped forward to this Hibari-san.
“Honto!” Sado called out.
Hibari glared down at me. I, in return, glared back.
“You idiot!” Suddenly Hibari swung at me, but at the same time, I was pulled, back, just far enough for Hibari’s weapon to nick my wrist.
“ah.” It was surprisingly painful, the blow slinked my arm in a whole different direction.
“I won’t warn you again.” Hibari glared.
“We’re leaving, so cool it!” Gokudera said calmly, his hands place firmly on my shoulders.
(ff)
“Thanks for having us Tusna!” Shou and Sado said at once. Shou, smiling childishly, happily accepting free food. Sado, calming, and gratefully, sipping tea.
“It’s fine.” Tusna smiled nervously. He looked to me and our eyes make contact. “I’ve never seen you at school before, but your wearing our uniform.” He pointed out.
“yeah… Shou gave it to me.”
Tusna gave the same questioning look Muji-san did the first day he saw me wear it.
“how…?”
“I have my ways” Shou butted in.
“You playboy..” GiGi nudged his side.
“I don’t see why they had to come with us…” Gokudera said, irritated. He sat in the corner of the room, unwilling to socialize with anyone other then Tusna; who was talking with us.
I noticed, even though he wanted nothing to do with Chintsuzai, he kept a close eye on each of us.
“Don’t be like that Gokudera.” Yamamoto teased, putting a hand on Gokudera’s shoulder.
“Why are you even here?!” he yelled angrily.
“Shou….” I whined, laying on my back on the floor. Arms and Legs spend out. As if there was enough space for that in this tiny room.. “What happened to practice today?!” I continued to whine.
“eh… lets just call it a lazy day.” Shou pulled me into a sitting position.
“Practice?” Yamamoto asked, sitting back down at the small table in the center of Tusna’s room.
“Band Practice.” Sado cleared the questions, “We’re a visual kei band called Chintsuzai.”
“Visual Kei?” Tusna thought for a moment, “Isn’t that the kind of music Gokudera listens too?” Tusna smiled, turning to his stubborn friend; who just turned away embarrassed.
“Oh like a make-up band?” Yamamoto asked, getting interested in our business.
“Yeah. We we’re suppose to practice today…” I commented, slightly irritated.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” Shou waved my bad vibes away. I could never get him with my bad attitude. He was just to good natured.
“I’ll be right back.” Rising to leave the room, I straightened my clothes just a bit. I shut the door behind me.
“She going to the toilet?” Yamamoto questioned.
“iduno…” Shou yawned.
(ff)
Outside, the sun was just going down. The clouds looked like cotton candy with their new, and temporary color.
Reaching into my skirt pocket I pulled out a pack of cigarettes. My fingers continued to search in the pocket for my lighter.
“damn…” I muttered, a cigarette in-between my lips.
“Here.” A voice said, with a flame dancing before my eyes. Accepting the offer, I pushed the tip of my cancer stick in the fame and inhaled.
The flame ran away to a familiar face.
Gokudera lit his own cancer stick, the glow of the flame, brightening his face, ever so slightly.
“you smoke?” I asked him, with a curious, but accepting smile.
“I could ask you the same.” Good come back. “So this is where you ran off to.” He sat on the front porch of Tusna’s house.
“Yeah, it’s rude to smoke in someone else’s house.”
“Yeah, well, I’m only out here cause baseball freak thinks I’m killing his lungs.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at how serious this guy was. It was amusing to watch him make a big deal of small things. But he wasn’t half bad to talk to, smart for egotistic jerk.
I almost said that out loud… oopsie
“What’s your name again?” I asked, not really forgetting, just wanting a proper introduction.
“Hayato Gokudera.” He spoke.
“Kay, and I’m Honto Jibun.” I took a seat next to him; inhaling more smoke of death.
“that’s a strange name.” he mentioned.
Gokudera seemed calmer then before, must be the cigarette.
“Yeah, Shou’s father gave it to me.”
“Siblings?”
“naw. It’s a long story.”
“hm…”
The rest of the time was pretty quiet. He headed back in first. I staid out and had another cigarette, while the sky went dark.
(ff)
“Take me from this world, save me.” I quietly sang the stupid song that was stuck in my head, “What if we all die young?” hopefully singing it will get rid of it. “So take me from this world, save me. What if we all die young?”
“That’s a rather depressing thought.” I jumped in my skin, not noticing the baby sitting next to me.
“oh, hi? Who are you?”
“I’m Reborn.”
“Oh nice to meet you reborn, I’m Honto Jibun.” I introduced myself, putting out my cigarette. Don’t want to be a bad influence.
“ah, that’s more upbeat.” The baby, Reborn, seemed to be in a good mood. “Tusna’s in his room, right?”
I just nodded, and watched the baby walk inside.
Not to long after I heard loud screams coming from inside. The front door busted open; out ran, Shou, Sado, GiGi, and Ren, in that order.
Ren grabbed my wrist just was he past pulling me along. Sadly I dropped my pack of cigarettes.
“oh darn…”
[thank you for reading 2nd "Pretend it's your life" will be up soon if your interested.]
