BUTCHER'S POINT OF VIEW
"You... love her? And I..." I stuttered out.
"But I can't understand, Butcher?" Sisky smarted.
I shook my head in disbelief. "You probably understand better than most."
I had loved, loved so intensely, only to have my heart ripped out of the black hole of my chest as I watched Kathy fall out of love with me.
And my best friend fall in love with her.
Mike had stolen her from right between my fingers, taken the love of my life away from me. And I couldn't ever forgive him.
I lifted my heavy head out of my hands, deadlocking Sisky in the eye. "Kathy wasn't happiest with Mike." If she had loved him a fraction of what I felt for her, I could have let it go. But she didn't. "I couldn't be happy for her because she wasn't happy for herself."
She ran off with the singer of a Chicago based band midway through the writing of 'Almost Here'. That was the only time I had felt most equal with Mike, the two of us sharing the same gut-wrenching pain the realization that you are not the love of your own love's life brings. "But Janaye..."
I was sick with knowing I had hurt Janaye in the attempt to get back at Mike. Because wasn't what Kathy did to him enough? What she did to me was enough, and it was the exact same I had been doing to Sisky.
My feelings had become so muddled between revenge and lust that I lost sight of anything else. My life had been colored a vivid green with the jealousy I felt for Sisky, in having someone special that loved him back.
I knew Janaye loved him back.
And for that reason, I could let her go.
"I would never hurt her again." Sisky interrupted my slew of thoughts. "It's not about my happiness anymore. What I've done... what I did... I..."
We paused in the silent realization that if it was me or him, it was him.
And I was okay with that. I lowered my head in silent and non-remorseful defeat.
Mike rose from his chair and approached Sisky. "Sisky." He rested a hand of comradeship on his shoulder. "I think we need to go see her."
MIKE CARDEN'S POINT OF VIEW
"Kathy wasn't happiest with Mike."
God, those words stung.
The truth is bitterest.
"I couldn't be happy for her because she wasn't happy for herself."
Even if she fucked me over, I knew Butcher was right. Kathy was right. The only person wrong here, was me.
If I was going to make things right, I had to make sure that true love got a second chance. I had to suck down my own selfish pity in walking up to him.
"Sisky." It was time to stop putting two hearts in between me and Butcher trying to rip each other apart. Even if I could look back at Kathy and acknowledge the mistake, Butcher still needed some time to heal. If I couldn't set that right, I could at least make the fight a little cleaner and keep my guilty conscience out of the way. "I think we need to go see her." I swallowed the lump in my throat.
They are going to get a second chance, Mike.
But will Janaye give one to you?
SISKY'S POINT OF VIEW
"Janaye." Mike whispered. "I think Sisky deserves another chance."
"No, no, it makes sense." He reassured her. "Nothing evergives him the right to hit you..." The strings in my chest tightened again, "but nothing gives me the right to take away your happiness, Janaye. I see the way you two look at each other, and how much pain you've been in... and none of it was because he hit you. It was because I hit him. I am your brother, but..."
I waited in baited breath outside of Janaye's room as Mike pleaded my case.
I couldn't help but feel petrified, virtually my whole reason for existing being debated a few short feet away from me.
"Then I think there's someone you need to talk to."
The threshold to my verdict was opened. The entryway seemed a million miles long, with the unknown waiting at the end of it. Mike finished the distance between the two of us. His eyes met mine, communicating a silent "Good luck" between us two.
The green behind Janaye's eyes was radiating something more unknown, uncertain.
And with that eye contact, I rushed to the side of her bed, clutching her hand into a million kisses.
"I am so sorry. So so so sorry." I kissed her knuckle again. "Butcher jeered me, and Josh talked me up... but that isn't even an excuse. Nothing, nothing is worth this..." My other hand faltered over her stomache, her delicate frame. "I promise, I swear, that even if it takes me a lifetime to get you to forgive me an ounce, I---"
The threshold to my verdict was opened. The entryway seemed a million miles long, with the unknown waiting at the end of it. Mike finished the distance between the two of us. His eyes met mine, communicating a silent "Good luck" between us two.
The green behind Janaye's eyes was radiating something more unknown, uncertain.
And with that eye contact, I rushed to the side of her bed, clutching her hand into a million kisses.
"I am so sorry. So so so sorry." I kissed her knuckle again. "Butcher jeered me, and Josh talked me up... but that isn't even an excuse. Nothing, nothing is worth this..." My other hand faltered over her stomache, her delicate frame. "I promise, I swear, that even if it takes me a lifetime to get you to forgive me an ounce, I---"
She moved a finger to my lip and shushed me. "Shhh. Consider this a pound, then."
And the most beautiful smile lit up her face.
The tension in my chest released.
Because for whatever reason, I was getting a second chance.
"I don't deserve that, Janaye." I cupped her palm to my face, so happy to have her near me again.
And the most beautiful smile lit up her face.
The tension in my chest released.
Because for whatever reason, I was getting a second chance.
"I don't deserve that, Janaye." I cupped her palm to my face, so happy to have her near me again.
Her fingers touched a curl. "No," she agreed, "But I deserve you."
She tugged my chin to her face, and there was no bittersweet satisfaction. There was no bittersweet taste of other boys on her lips, and for the first time in a long time, I could call her all mine.
She tugged my chin to her face, and there was no bittersweet satisfaction. There was no bittersweet taste of other boys on her lips, and for the first time in a long time, I could call her all mine.
I wanted it all, and I got it all.
And that's not so bad, is it?
THE END.
THE END.
Epilogue soon[:
