{106 Things I'm Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts}

1. Lock Slytherines and Gryffyndors in a closet and take bets on which house will come out alive.
2. Wear my 'Death Eater and Proud of It' shirt to school
3. Call Ghostbusters on Peeves or any other ghost at Hogwarts and in the nearby area
4. Introduce Peeves to paintball guns..
5. Or paintballing as a sport..
6. Or any type of gun..
7. Even water..
8. Or water balloons
9. Throw balloons filled with bubatuber puss at anyone
10. Lick Trevor
11. Make callamari out of the Giant Squid..
12. Think about makeing callamari out of the Giant Squid..
13. Ask the Giant Squid if I can make callamari out of it..
14. Bring callamari to the Giant Squid
15. Walk up to Professer Trelawney, hit her in the face with a bat, and scream, "YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING DID YOU?!"
16. Make light saber sounds with my wand..
17. Pretend my wand is a light saber
18. I must assume that if the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds I can't use it
19. Slip dragon dung in any of the teachers personal inboxes
20. Everytime Harry says his scar hurts, ask him if his Wizard Senses are tingaling..
21. Or follow Harry around humming the Batman Theme song..
22. Or follow Harry and sing the Batman Theme song and replace Batman with Potterman
23. Use my socks to make Slytherine Mascot puppets
24. Bring fortune cookies to Divination for extra credit
25. No matter how great of a Steven Irwin accent I can do, I cannont pretend to be him during Care of Magical Creatures
26. Follow Harry around in a black coat
27. Ask Lupin if he needs tampons during his time of the month (i.e. full moon)
28. Ask Lupin if there are gay werewolves
29. Hide under Neville's bed and make scary noises (he might pee on me)
30. Use Umbridge's quill to write 'I Told You I Was Hardcore'
31. Write 42 to every question on my Charms' exam..
32. Or any exam for that matter
33. Tell McGonagal she takes herself to seriously
34. Ask Dumbledore to shoe me the pointy hat trick
35. Teach the first years to sing 'A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End'
36. Take out an insurance policy on Harry
37. Use the engorgio charm on a certain part of the girls' human annatomy..
38. Or the boys'..
39. Or any part for that matter
40. Walk up to Voldiemart and tell him to get a life..
41. Or ask him if he knows he's moldy
42. Dress up as Voldie for Halloween
43. Sing my own spy music when wandering the hallways
44. Take the Giant Squid as a date to the Yule Ball..
45. Or any ball
46. Call Flitwick Yoda
47. Sit on Dumbledore's lap and call him Santa
48. Bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
49. Feed first years to Fluffy
50. Ask Dumbledore if he has 'Nakie Time'
51. Say Voldy is mean because his father never hugged him..
52. Or Snape..
53. Or try to get everyone to give Snape a hug..
54. Or Voldemort either
55. Chase Snape around with a lighter and see if he lights on fire without gasoline
56. Take a trip to Egypt with Percy..
57. And try to shut him in a pyramid
58. If a student falls asleep in class, I should not take advantage of that and draw the Dark Mark on his arm
59. Walk up to a Gryffyndor, ask it 'How do you keep a Gryffyndor in suspence?' and walk away more than once
60. Declar an official Hug A Slytherine Week..
61. Or Hug Snape Month..
62. Hug Voldymort Year..
63. Or National Change Malfoy Into A Ferret Week
64. Change students into ferrets..
65. Or any other kind of animal
66. Lick random students..
68. Bite random students..
69. Say a student looks delicious and I wanna eat 'em up..
70. Try to eat a student..
71. Roast a student and try to eat them..
72. Flash fry a student (like chicken) and try to eat them..
73. Not even a nibble..
74. Be a cannibal..
75. 'Cuz it's frowned upon in most societies
76. Give Peeves fireworks
77. At random moments in Potions class yell 'Snape, Draco said Lucius wants his pink thong back!'
78. Spike Snape's pumpkin juice with weed or other substances..
79. No matter how funny a high and hallucinating Snape would be
80. Bring muggles to Muggles Studies class
81. Throw fake spiders at Ron..
82. Or slugs..
83. Or real spiders..
84. Or real slugs
85. Steal Hermione's books..
86. And burn them..
87. Or destroy them
88. Tell first years' that Snape's first name is Satan..
89. Or Voldemort
90. Tell first years' that Voldemort is Snape's father
91. Poke a hippogryff with a stick..
92. Or Fluffy...
93. Or play with fluffy
94. Call Snape a slimy toad
95. Ask Draco if I can polish his wand..
96. Or Harry..
97. Or Oliver..
98. Or Krum
99. Say that the reason Harry was single for so long is because he got it on with Dumbledore
100. Shave Mrs. Norris
101. Tell Filch Umbridge thinks he's cute..
102. And wants him to take her to Hogsmede
103. Shave 'We Got You Filch!' in Mrs. Norris
104. Hide in the suits of armor in the hallways
105. Patrol the corridors with the sword of Gryffyndor
106. Spend time during class writing a long list of 106 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts