01 || Read Between the Signs || Chad Crawford

Weeks passed. I pushed myself more into a work mode. and avoided Steven's company. Tor and I opened a bank account and were saving up for a car, and we even made plans to move into a house later on. But we'd both have to get better paying jobs before that happened.

I guess I was surprised when I got a letter from Chad. To be honest I had been expecting a lot more letters and a lot more phone calls from him, but that's life. The letter was sweet though.

Dawn,

You wouldn't believe how hectic tour has been, and you'd believe even less if I told you about the fan base we've worked up. I never knew we were so popular!

God, I wish you were here, I was so excited to do what I love, with the girl I love right by my side. At least you got to see us play once, right? But I remember I was so nervous with you watching me, I must have looked like a complete dork.

I miis you a lot, you know. Oh, I wish things could have turned out differently. It's alright though; I love you and you love me and if this is real, we should be able to get through this. Don't you think?

You know Dawn. I've been in serious relationships before. I've had my heart broken, and I've hurt others just as bad. I've been though pain so horrific I really thought I'd rather die than even considering an attempt at recovery. But, despite my doubts, I made it through. But with you... I don't even want to think about losing you. I don't want to imagine a world without you, because that one won't be half as wonderful as the one that I want to share with you. I know we haven't talked much about what'll happen when tour is over and it's time for me to go back to Arizona. But I have been thinking a lot on the subject and we'll talk about it when I get there, okay? Just... Promise me it will work out? It has to work. I need it to work. I need you.

Love forever and always,
Chad


I can't say a letter was what I'd expected when he'd told me he was working on something, and to watch the mail for it. Not what I'd expected, but nothing less than what I wanted or needed. And although my heart swelled with all sorts of emothions as Chad's words filled my head, I didn't think about the letter much after that.

He would be back in about a month now, and there was just one thing left to do: make a decision. Maybe one of the hardest I'd ever made-- expressing my feelings, dealing with those of others, hurting myself, hurting other people... No avoiding the hurt.

What I'd wished for more than anything at that moment was that I couldjust ignore it, act like it wasn't there... Ride it out. But there's no such thing as that, is there? Not to mention, I couldn't wait any longer, for I had a lot of thinking to do. And I did not remember signing up for deprivation when I gave everything I had to one single person...

And now there was just one more thing to do before making my decision, and that to see Steven just one more time.