The Battle's Aftermath (D.Gray-Man one-shot) [Lavi]

You hated this weather. Not a cloud in sight, the sky a startlingly deep blue. It was completely inappropriate as you stared at all the caskets lined up neatly, at the wounded Finders, some of whom were weeping quietly over a friend’s coffin. Thank God there had been no Exorcist casualties, none of your friends dead or wounded. But so many…. Your fist clenched, and a tear slid down your cheek.

“(Your Name)?” a voice asked quietly, and you turned to see Lenalee, who looked somber in her dark dress. “I’m fine,” you lied, plastering a fake smile on your face, then brushed past her before she could say anything else, not bothering to wipe away the tear, or the second one that joined it as you walked down the hall with the intent to lock yourself in your room.

Lenalee gazed after you, and sighed. “I wish I could help her,” she spoke to herself, “I worry so much.”

~~~

You sniffed slightly as you closed your bedroom door behind you, leaning against it and allowing several more tears to fall. “Damn you, Earl. Dammit, it’s so unfair,” you snarled quietly, hitting the wooden door with a fist, lowering your head to let your hair fall around your face. For the next few minutes you vented all your anger on the Earl and the Akuma, and on the idiots who made Akuma and the morons who threw their lives away so selflessly. You ranted against them inaudibly until your anger ran out, and left you feeling tired, and just so damn sad.

Now out of energy, you pulled away from the door, walking slowly over to your bed and sprawling onto it. Just as you started to drift off another disturbance woke you back up. “Oi, (Your Name)?” it was Lavi’s voice, ever cheerful, something you didn’t want to deal with. “Go away,” you stated tonelessly, and you heard him sigh. “I’m coming in, alright?” You gave no reply, and turned your back to the door as it opened and admitted Lavi in.

“What’s the total?” you asked, and knew he flinched before replying, “You don’t want to know.”

“Tell me.”

“112 dead, 97 wounded,” he stated in what you considered his “Bookman” voice; dry, emotionless, with utter detachment from humanity. You disliked when he used it, it was a reminder of his future, one without friends and supposedly without feelings. Despite his tone, you knew his forest green eye would glimmer with an unshed tear before he blinked it away. You didn’t look at him as he sat on the foot of the bed, instead staring at the wall, counting the cracks in the plaster.

“Why, Lavi? Why do so many damn lives have to be lost, people dying for a war they didn’t even have to fight! We’re the Exorcists, they shouldn’t have to face Akuma dammit!” your anger resurfaced, and you irately wiped away the tears the came back with your arm, blinking hard but unable to stop the flow. “We should be able to protect them. That’s one of the reasons I’m an Exorcist, after all,” you smiled bitterly, and finally glanced at him. He was watching you, his face blank and his arms in his lap. You stared for a moment, then gave in with a small sob, and pressed your face against his chest.

“Feeling a bit better now?” he asked, wrapping his arms around you and letting you cry. Times like this had happened before, and he knew to let you rant before offering any sort of comfort or consolation. “I feel like crap,” you mumbled into his shirt, and he grinned, rubbing your back in a soothing manner. “You just have to keep walking and fighting. Make sure their deaths weren’t useless,” he ran his fingers through your hair, and you sniffled, then nodded. “I’ll bring the balloons when Allen finally kills the Earl, though,” you muttered, and both of you giggled at the lame joke.

“Remember it’ll be over someday. Probably in our lifetime too,” Lavi continued, and you sighed before reluctantly pulling away. “I hope so. I’m just damned sick of all the casualties,” you rubbed at your eyes, then blinked when Lavi caught your wrist. “Huh? Lavi, what’re you-” before you could finish the sentence his lips were on yours and the war didn’t matter so much at the moment, and everything else wasn‘t really noticeable at all. His hand traced it’s way up your arm, fingering your silky strands of hair, caressing your cheek. You shivered lightly, then pulled away, your breath a bit ragged and your cheeks tinted red.

“What was that for?” you watched him in a slightly indignant manner, and he smiled. “To make you feel better,” he replied in a maddeningly happy tone, and you narrowed your eyes for a moment, then huffed and leaned back into him and allowed his arms to wrap around you. “Well, warn me next time,” you muttered, and he chuckled, placing a kiss on your forehead.

End