You had better read that mofo moose disclaimer, you toe biter.
"HEY LOUIEY BABY, COME ON, WE'RE GONNA BUST OUT OF THIS JOINT!" Jessie called over to Louis who seemed to be getting frisky with the green emo haired stranger. You know, the one with the face paint. :]
"But I wanted to stay and wat-"
"I COULD GIVE TWO SHITS BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY THAT YOU'RE NOT ALREADY LOCKED IN MY CLOSET!"
"Uhm...what? I still don't even know you..."
"Don't mean a thing baybay. -wink-"
"Okay, well just hold your horses, I want to eat them."
"OKAY HOLDING HOR-wait, what AM I holding?..." Right about then, Jessie felt the purple skinny jeans move under her grabby touch. The face paint guy smiled and laughed all maliciously. The look on Louis's face was of hurt and betrayal. "Well if THATS how you want to be, I think I will go ahead and leave with Shawna and erm...what was your name again?"
Jessie frowned a little, "Jessie...let's go see what Shawna is doing." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to where Shawna was attempting to pick the lock. Jessie looked over her shoulder.
'THIS FUCKING MOFO MOOSE ASS LOCK IS SO FUCKING STUPID. WHY CAN'T I PICK IT??!!"Shawna screamed, almost incoherently. It was clear that her moose/locked door rage was almost as bad as her road rage. Jessie only added to her frustration as she tried to unlock it too.
Louis looked around the area when he noticed something, written clearly on the door. He sighed, "Please move."
"Damn, I don't think I've ever heard you say the word please, Louis" Shawna looked up form her provocative crouching position at the door. The girls moved aside as Louis stepped forward, turning the knob and opening the door, then pointed to the sticker that read 'PUSH.' Louis proceeded through the door with an awes truck Jessie and annoyed Shawna in his wake.
The girls followed him to his blue car and climbed in. Even though Shawna was aware of Jessie's affections for Louis, she called shotgun anyway. (:[ ) However, Jessie got behind his seat, sliding her hand..
"So where are we going now?" Louis asked. Shawna settled in and told him about the phone call. Louis nodded, turning on his band's shitty music and making the necessary turns and routes to the Gotham City Prison.
When they arrived, Louis opted to wait in the car while Shawna and Jessie found the main doors and approached the nearest officer. He wore purple pants and had his grimy green hair combed to the side. The face paint he wore seemed to compliment the various guns he had attached to his belt.
"What can I do for you two ladies today?" He asked, flashing a scarred smile.
Shawna spoke up since Jessie seemed to be pondering a familiarity that was in the officer’s presence...
"We're here to get the Wonk-ster out of the pen, homes." She said all cool like. Even Jessie was impressed by the coolness. The cop grinned and magically produced an official looking paper that informed the two of Willy's bond.
"1,000,000 dollars?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! WHAT DID HE DO ANYWAY?!" Shawna demanded.
"He was caught giving little boys pieces of candy. This is mandatory bail for creepers, trust me, I've been an officer of the law for roughly 52.836 years now."
"Oh, weird..." Jessie pitched in. Shawna grabbed her arm and pulled her outside. "Listen Jessie, I'm not getting paid till like Tuesday, so I won’t have the money today. Do you think he could wait?"
Jessie frowned, shaking her hand. "Nooo, I don't think so. You can't get your hos to pay you a couple days early?"
"No way, José. They all might as well be meese anyway."
"Meese?"
"More than one moose."
Jessie gave a confused look, but what was new? She thought for a moment. "Call me crazy, but I bet we could bust him out and not have to worry about the monies at all" Shawna smiled at this idea, heading back to the car. "Yeah, we could get Rainbow to help us!"
Louis raised his head. "Who is Rainbow?" Jessie and Shawna looked to each other as if Louis was like, the third stupidest person alive.
"DUH, RAMBO" they said together.
"You said rain-"
"No I didn't, shut up and drive, ho."
"I hate how you two interrupt me all the time..." He put on his best emo face and began to drive.
"Yeah, so I heard he was he hospital cause he got in this crazy bar fight to save African kids or something." Jessie informed them.
"Yeah?I heard he beat up a couple hobos who stole this kid's taco. He's so dreamyyy...." Shawna faded as if imagining the two of them holding hands, walking through Vietnam, 7 kids (one for every day of t week) running around them happily. Jessie performed A THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH on Shawna to snap her back to reality.
"Either way, we need to get to the hospital pronto. Head that way, Louis."
At the hospital, a nice, green haired nurse showed them to Rainbow/Rambo’s VIP hospital suite.
"Just this way now, " she said in an oddly manly voice Shawna turned to Louis at the door. "Go to the store and buy a box of fruit loops for Rainbow. They're his favorite. Louis shrugged, "Whatever, I'll be back." He left down the hallway to the exit doors.
Jessie knocked lightly before entering into his room, Shawna behind her. Rambo was sleeping, reading glasses perched on his nose and a copy of 'Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' lying on his chest. Shawna tapped him on the cheek repeatedly until he jolted awake.
"HE RAPED HER FIFTY TIMES!" he screamed as the book went flying off his chest.
"Oh...yeah, so we kinda had a favor to ask you, Rainbow-"
Rambo grimaced, "Its Rambo."
"Yeah, uh, so I know that Shawna was dying to ask you, so she will now." Jessie shoved Shawna forward until she was right next to Rambo. "Uh-uhm, so like, we were wondering, you know, THAT THING, the one where you...uhmm..we need you....speaking of aliens...moo-"
Sudeenly Louis bust through the door, upset and frustrated looking. He has his hand on his hip, tapping his foot. He threw the box of fruit loops onto the floor and took a deep breath. Jessie looked worried, "Louis, baby, wha-"
"OH MY FUCKING GOD. SO IM ON MY WAY TO PUBLIX, BUT LIKE THIS BAT MOBILE WAS TAILGATING THIS BIG TRUCK AND WOULDN'T GET OUT OF MY WAY AND THEN I GOT THERE ONLY TO BE STOPPED BY THIS COP WITH GREEN HAIR WHO WANTED TO DO A STRIP SERCH. ONCE I WAS PROPERLY DEFILED, I WENT INSIDE AND THERE WAS SOME RED HEADED CHICK WITH A GUY, POKING AT THIS ALIEN THING IN THE FROZEN FOOD SECTION. I GOT PASSED THEM, GOT THE FRUIT LOOPS, AND GOT IN LINE. BUT THEN SOME KID WITH A FUCKED UP SCAR ON HIS FACE WAS ALL BRITIS AND SHIT, LOOKIN OUT FROM THOSE ROUND GLASSES AT ME LIKE HE WANTED TO TEAR MY CLOTHES OFF AND EX ME RIGHT THERE. HE KEPT ASKING IF HE TOUCHED MY TRA LA LA. IT WAS WIERD. SO ANYWAYS, YOU OWE ME 3.99, HO."
They all just kinda stared while Louis found a chair and sat. Shawna turned back to Rambo and blurted, "WE NEED YOU TO HELP US BU-" but she was interrupted again. The green haired nurse walked in, holding a chart and cup of meds. "So mister Rainbow, is it?"
"Rambo."
"Why are you so serious all the time? Anyway, your assistant called about your law suit against the sewing company for making sharp needles. He wanted me to tell you to bring the little flower dress you were sewing for your 'build a bear' flower girl bear to the hearing. He also wanted me to tell you that the bear wedding is rescheduled for Thursday. Now these pills are for your loss of blood when you came in contact with the needle." She handed them over and left the room.
Shawna and Jessie looked at each other, trying to hold in a laugh.
"CAN I JUST ASK WITHOUT BEINGINTERUPPTED??" Shawna demanded.
"Now you know how I fe-"
"SHUT UP LOUIS, NO ONE WAS TALKING TO YOU~" Shawna screamed, "So yeah, will you help us bust Willy Wonka, also known as the 'CANDYMAN' out of prison? We could nurse you back to health and strength." Jessie nodded, imitating huge muscles that he would have.
After he agreed, Shawna, Jessie, and kinda Louis put him through vigorous, bad ass hardcore training in the hospital. He was running laps around the hallways and using old people as punching bags. Jessie had suggested he use Shawna’s boobs, because they're so big, but as much as she wanted his hands on them, she was having none of that. He was double dutch jump roping with IVs and urine tubes as well as lifting Louis as a weight. Within at least 18.539 minutes, he was totally hard core and buff.
They snuck out without the mystery face painted nurse noticing. They all piled into Louis's car and headed to the Gotham City Prison.
-TO BE CONTINUED...I think
