Rage {Chapter 3: Trust}

Reading the old letter made my heart quiver, but I felt no pain, no regrets, nothing. It was all over and done a little less than a year ago, and I had decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to let it bring me down anymore.

"So? What's it all about? And why does he mention a 'Cali?'"

He looked so concernced, I jumped at the chance to open up to him.

"We were going out for like three years, and then one day I found out that he had been cheating on me for a long time. I guess I had already known it, but he hid it so well I told myself I was being silly. One day I just came home, and he was standing there kissing her. In our room! We had even bought the house together as soon as we could. Everything was so perfect, we even said we were gonna get married, and then..Cali all of a sudden becomes this girl that he lives and breathes for. He didn't even say goodbye to me in person. He didn't talk to me at all after that day. And the worst part is, the way he acted was like he never liked me at all. It was like a big play or something, we were just together cause we thought we needed each other. So I just left."

"You should've yelled at him, or punched him or something." I looked up at him, surprised. He continued, "Well he deserved it."

"Thanks."

"But...why was he cheating on you? Was there something wrong?"

"I dont know. I mean I wasn't the best girlfriend, I had to work a lot, and he didnt really like coming to the shows, and I didnt always have time for him-"

"Dont you dare blame that on yourself."
"Why do you care?"

I felt bad immediatly after I said it. I had said it so harshly. Now I felt guilty, I shouldnt be so mean to him.

"I've tried so hard to keep you alive so far, I can't help but care."

"Ya know, for a guy who kills monsters for a living, you are kinda sweet."

Once again, I knew it would make him mad.

"I am not."

"Sure you are. I mean buying me all this food, feeling sorry for me, taking care of me all this time...Under that bad ass exterior you've got a heart of gold, don't you Jaydin?"

He jumped up and started counting down. I got the hint and started running. I was at the top of the stairs when I heard him shout 'One'. I knew he wasn't really gonna hurt me, but I ran for my life anyway. There were lots of hallways and places to hide in my house, so it would be easy to lose him. I ran around for a while without even seeing him. Then I found him standing outside of my art room, looking through the open door.

He started walking in and I walked over to him.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

I followed him in and clicked on the light.

"Is..is that me?"

"What?..."

I followed his eyes to a picture I had painted, still sitting on an easel. I had painted it before I moved here, and then decided to put it back up, because it was one of my better paintings. I realized that the boy I had painted did look almost exactly like Rage, the deep blonde hair, grey eyes, their faces were even almost exactly the same.
"You painted me? You're not like a stalker or something are you?..."

"No. I- I had that painted before I even met you."

We looked back and forth between the picture and each other.

"Then how can it be me? Are you lying?"

"No, you can even check the date. And I have proof, too, cause I have a picture downstairs of me and the band in my old art room, and you can see it in the background.

I ran downstairs and got the pic. I brought it back up and he stared at it with a look of disbelief across his face.

"Then how the hell does it look just like me?"

I knew exactly why, but I was reluctant to tell him. It would make my lines and what the lines were hiding a little more clear. He looked up and realized I wasnt going to tell him.

"Come on, you can tell me, I won't laugh or anything. Promise." Damn him and those eyes.

"Fine. Well...I guess, um, I drew that cause, it was a picture of my, my 'perfect guy'."

His mouth fell open a bit and he just looked at me.

"What?"

I just nodded.

"You really think, I'm, I'm that," he struggled to find a word that wouldnt sound girly, "...'perfect'?"

I could already feel myself blushing again.

"Yeah." I dropped my eyes to the floor. He started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Trust me, I'm not that great looking."

"Are you kidding me? You should see the way other girls look at you! There was a girl at Wal Mart that couldnt believe I was lucky enough to be with you.Trust me, you are that great."

I almost laughed aloud when I realized that saying that was probably the most torturous thing I do to him. He was blushing and wouldn't look me in the eye. I tried so hard not to laugh, but eventually, I let out a little giggle.

"What the fuck are you laughing at!!!!!" Even though he look mad, he was still blushing.

"Nothing.

"Tell me what you were laughing about."

"If I tell you its just gonna make you mad."

"I'm already mad."

"Yeah, over nothing..."

He glared at me and I glared back. I knew it. We were going to get in a fight right then and there. We both started to take a step towards each other, ready to beat the crap out of each other, when someone knocked on the door. We both looked silly, our fists still up in the air.

I glared at him as I walked out of the room. By the time I got to the door, Rage was standing behind me in the kitchen. I wondered who in the world it could be. Maybe the guys were home and came to visit me. I opened the door and was pulled into a hug.

"Chris!?"

"I missed you so much! I-" He stopped dead and I could tell he was looking over my shoulder. Oh no.

I pushed him away from me.

"Lie, who is he?"

"He's a friend of mine thats been helping me out." I tried to get Chris to read the message in my eyes that we truly were just friends, but he wasn't taking his eyes off Rage. I had never seen Chris act like this, he was always the quiet type. Probably because of his jackass of a brother who treated him like crap.

Finally, Rage broke the scary silence and walked over to shake hands with Chris.

"Hi, I'm Jaydin. I'm guessing you're Chris? Lie's told me a lot about you. You should hear the way she goes on and on about you." Wow. Jaydin really knew the right things to say. Chris smiled at me, over his anger.

"So, Chris, did you drive out here all by yourself?"

"Yeah. I was the first one home, and the others said it would be a while before they got back, so I came to see you."

"Are you staying here?"

"I am allowed to right? I brought all my stuff."

"Of course you're allowed to stay. Are you hungry? Want something to drink?"

"Both please. I havent eaten since this morning."

"What do you want?"

"Whatever you have."

"Trust me, I have everything. Whatever you want."

"Um... can I just have a PB J sandwhich? And some Coke? Oh and some cheese?"

"Cheese?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Ok..."

I was starting to get the idea that Chris was asking for a bunch of stuff just to show off that I was getting it for him so eagerly. He really was jealous of Rage. It was even weirder because I had never seen him be jealous of anyone else ever.

After I got his food, he ate it in the living room. When he was done, he ever so politely asked me to take his plate out. I came back and noticed that Rage was sitting with his head in his hand with his eyes closed.

"Jaydin do you feel okay?"

"I just have a headache. Can I lay down on the couch for a while?"

"Go ahead."

Chris reluctantly got up to let Rage lay down. Chris moved to the chair and I sat on the floor leaning against the chair. He started playing with my hair. It started to make me sleepy. I was almost asleep when I realized that Rage was glaring at me while Chris was staring at the TV.

I mouthed a "what?" at him and he just rolled his eyes and turned on his side, groaning a little.

"Hey, Lie, I think I'm gonna go get my stuff and put it up in the room I'm staying in."

"Kay. I'll help."

"No, its okay, I only have a few bags. Which room am I gonna be in?"

"You can pick one. There's three other bigger rooms, and one tiny room. They're all on the first hallway. He smiled at me and then walked towards the door. I couldnt help but notice that for a split second he glanced at Rage with a menacing look in his eyes. As soon as he was out the door Rage sat up.

"So he's your loverboy?"

"No, hes my friend."

"Sure."

"How come you're fine all of a sudden?"

"Oh, I feel fine."
"Then why are you acting like you're sick!"

"Because I'm not gonna leave you alone all night with him." When he said 'him' he nodded towards the door with a scowl on his face. I laughed.

"Ok, first of all, since when are you my dad, and second of all, be serious. Its CHRIS we're talking about. He's like the most nicest innocent caring guy I've ever met. He's not gonna do anything."

"Liabeths's famous last words..."

"Trust me, it'll be fine. And besides," I said, "You dont have any other clothes to change into tomorrow."

"Oh yes I do. I accidently left some here when I used the shower in the guest bedroom that one time. I'll just put it in the washer. Or I could run back to my hotel and get stuff when you and him are asleep."

"Will you quit calling him 'him'! He has a name."

"I can call HIM whatever I want to.You're not the boss of me."

"Well you're not the boss of me either, so I say you have to leave."

"Since I'm training you, and I've saved your butt so many times, techinically, I am the boss of you."

The front door opened and Rage quickly sat up on the couch.

"I think I'm gonna puke."

I knew I wasn't gonna win. I decided to play along. I ran over and put my arm around him to lead him up to the bathroom. As soon as we were upstairs, he turned around to face me.

"In a couple minutes go back down and tell your little boyfriend that I have to stay because I'm too sick to drive home, and I cant see right. Tell him I'm in the tiny bedroom at the end of the hall asleep. Go."

I went back downstairs and relayed the message to Chris. At first he looked a little pissed, but I could see his mind working. He knew that if Rage was too sick to even drive, that he would probably be asleep in his room all night. I helped him get his stuff upstairs, and he picked the room right across from mine. I set down the suitcase I was carrying. As soon as I turned around he pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back, even though it didnt feel right.

"You look tired. You should get some sleep."

"You should too." I said.

"Good night Lie."

"'Night." I was a little afraid that he would try to kiss me again, I wasn't really in the mood, so I just turned around and walked out.

I went over to my room, took a shower and crawled into bed. I realized that if I left my door open, the way that Chris's and my beds were, we would be able to see each other. I felt grumpy. Chris was starting to make me mad. He had never acted like this before. I wished he would just go back to being normal. I heard his bathroom door open and pulled the covers up around my chin and turned the other way.

I couldnt sleep. It was just one of those nights. Every time I would finally drift into sleep, I would have some sort of nightmare. A lot of them included Alec and Ariana. I couldnt open my eyes either, because it was pitch black in my room and I would just start seeing things. I tossed and turned and tried to think of something else. I fell asleep again, and everything was fine until I had a new occurence with Alec. I sat straight up in my bed and screamed. I felt stupid when I realized it was just a dream. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Chris.

"Lie whats wrong? Are you okay?" It seemed that he was finally starting to act normal.

"Yeah..I just..I just had a bad dream."

"It seemed like you were having a lot of bad dreams, you kept squeaking every 10 minutes."

"Sorry, was I keeping you up?"

"No. I couldnt sleep either." I could see by the pale moonlight that fell over Chris's face that he was blushing. We had never really been this close to each other, and he was probably nervous.

"What were you're bad dreams about?" I asked.

"Adin."

We both laughed quietly. I stopped when I thought I heard a soft, scratching sort of noise, but Chris didnt seem to have noticed it.

"And what were your bad dreams about?"

"A lot of stuff."

"Like what? Talk to me a little bit so you forget about it." For some strange reason I felt like crying. I dont know what made me feel that way. Maybe it was just some overly dramatic reaction to Chris being normal. It relieved me. It was like I had a little piece of home sitting beside me, but I never felt so out of place. I started crying.

"Whats wrong? Were your dreams that bad?" He put his arms around me and my arms fell around his neck.

"No, I just, I miss home. I miss all you guys so much."

"We've all missed you too." I was already stopping the tears, and I moved away from Chris.

"Are you gonna be alright? Don't keep yourself awake all night cause your're afraid."

I didnt answer.

"Do you want me to sleep on the floor in front of the door like I used to?"

I was surprised he even remembered that. On nights when we would have to stay at hotels, I would get almost delirious from lack of sleep and start hallucinating. Chris would ususally be freaked out too and sleep in front of my door to make me feel better.

"Sure."

I layed down while he brought blankets over. I noticed that, even though the door was already flat against the wall, he took great care to close it. He hadn't even laid down yet when I heard a yell.

I jumped out of bed to go see why Rage was moaning so loud. As soon as I opened the door, he sat up and turned on the light.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked me. I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and I also couldnt help but notice that he had a perfect body. He had kept his jeans on though.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why is Chris in your room?"

"How do you even know he came over?"

"I've been listening forever. Why is he in your room?"
"I woke up screaming and he came over to see what was wrong. He's sleeping in front of my door."

"Yeah, I'm sure he's gonna stay there too..."

"He will! Why are you acting like this!"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt!"

There was an akward silence. I heard Chris down the hall, "Lie, whats going on?"

"Tell him you'll have to stay here with me a while because I'm so pitiful."

"Shut up! I am not staying over here because you wanna play the hero! You're just making him hate you more!"

"Thats kinda the point."

"What? He's MY friend, you cant decide whether he stays here, or what he does, or anything!"
Chris started walking down the hall and Rage laid back down in bed. I sat on the edge of the bed and put my hand on his forehead.

"Whats wrong?"

"He's burning up, I'm gonna have to take care of him for a while."

"But are you coming back?"

"Yeah. You can sleep in my bed until I come back."

"Ok..."

Chris left and I brought my fist down on Rage's chest.

"You are ruining my relationship with him!"

"I dont care. I dont trust him."

"Why not? You dont even know him!"

"Well, in those notes, he was really desperate for you to say yes, and he knew that none of your other buddies would be back so he could be alone with you. You can't tell me he doesnt have an ulterior motive."

I hit him again and stood up.

"You are pissing me off! Why are you making him sound so horrible! And how do you know his whole plan? Huh? Maybe you're the twisted little perv, cause you seem to know so much about it!"

He jumped up and put his hand in front of my mouth.

"Shhh! He's gonna hear you!"

"Dont touch me!"

"Would you calm down. I can tell, he looks nervous every time you're around him and he keeps flaunting you like you're his wife or something."

"So. Maybe I will be his wife."

"Dont say that. Please."

"Why not? I like Chris a lot and he likes me. It's not like I have to ask your permission for everything. If I wanna let Chris sleep in my room then I can. So-"

He was scowling at me. Before I could say anything, he jumped up, grabbed his shirt and left.

"Wait-" He slammed the door shut. Now I felt horrible. How was I supposed to stay inside my lines if he didnt ever talk to me again? I went back to my room. Chris was asleep in my bed, so I went over and slept where he had left his blankets on the floor. I didn't have any more dreams that night.