Kiss the Tears Away [Ch. 1]

My nightmares came back. This one is probably the worst one yet. I don’t even want to think of what I saw. I turned my head and squinted my eyes. The blurriness finally focused enough to allow me to make out the clock. It blinked 2:26 am.
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Gee is up. He always is. He’s either painting or doing something to make himself moan insanely loud. I think I should go down and see him. I’m really scared, but I need to grown up; that’s what he’ll tell me, too.
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Shadows crept across the dark room, making up my mind for me. I got up, sprinted quietly and quickly down the stairs into the kitchen, then down the ones that led to the basement, Gee’s room.
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Right as my hand touched the handle I heard a sound that proved my thoughts were correct on what he did at night. He was moaning and I could hear the bed creaking as he was, apparantly, writhing in pleasure as he jerked himself off. I could picture him as he touched himself and as he arched his back as he came, shouting whoever’s name that he was thinking about.
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I knocked on the door instead, feeling that was the better choice. I heard him cuss violently before he snapped, “What do you want?”
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I bit my lip. “Gee, I had another nightmare.” He cursed again and a couple second later he opened the door and said:
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“Sorry. I thought you were Mom or Dad again. You had another nightmare, eh?” I nodded. “Well come on, I just finished painting,” he lied smoothly.
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“Can I see it tomorrow?” I yawned. He nodded and lay on the bed. Gee folded back the blanket and held open his arms, welcoming me. “Thanks, Gee Gee.” I murmured and climbed into bed with him. My back was to his chest and I could feel his heart pounding, he was obviously just coming down from an orgasmic high.
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“What was the dream about?” He asked. He always asks. If I don’t answer him he knows not to push, if I do he knows how to comfort me. What did I do? I chose the latter.
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“Y-You died…” He didn’t say anything. He knew I wasn’t done. “After you tried to save me. I watched you try and fight but you were killed and then you watched me die as the guy told you my secret.” I finished, crying softly.
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“You know I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” His grip tightened. “What’s your secret?”
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My secret? God, I couldn’t tell you that, Gee. It would devastate you and make you hate me. If you hated me I wouldn’t and couldn’t live any longer. I love you. Maybe more than a brother should. I know it’s wrong. It’s illegal. It’s incest.

You’d be disgusted.
You’d hate me.
You’d disown me as your brother.
You’d stop talking to me.
You’d move away.
You’d stop thinking of me completely.
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I couldn’t let that happen. Everything would fall apart. Our brotherhood. Our friendship. Our family. Our lives. And most importantly, my heart.
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“Mikester? Mikaronie? Mikrophone? Mikey? Michael?” I love the nicknames you have come up for me. You started them when I called you Gee, then GeeGee, when I was like three. “You okay?”
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That has got to be the stupidest question among stupid questions, ‘Are you okay?’ When is asked that they are usually no okay. I’M not OKAY. Can’t you tell? I’m crying. I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want you to hate me. I’m not oh-fucking-kay.
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“No, Gee, I’m not okay.” I sobbed into the pillow that smelled like you. The shampoo you use on your black shoulder length hair. Your cologne. Your come. And just plain you.
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Gee turned me around to face him. He held me tight. My face was buried in the crook of his neck. He rubbed circles on my back and ‘Shh’-ed me.
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I felt tired so I turned around with my back to his chest, again. After a few minutes, I realized I was tired but I didn’t want to sleep. And I couldn’t sleep.
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“Mikey? You awake?” Gee asked.
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I didn’t want to talk so I stayed still hoping I could fool him. A few more seconds passed by and i still hadn’t answered. I guess he thought I WAS asleep.
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“I’ll take that as a no.” Gee sighed and then inhaled my smell before kissing the back of my neck. I froze up and bit my lip, trying not to moan as he pressed open-mouthed kissed to the nape of my neck and hair-line. His hands slid up to my bare chest and started to flick my nipples. I bit a little harder, determined to feign sleep.
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It was a useless effort as he pinched my nipples and I let a moan slip. He froze behind me.
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“Oh god! Mikey? I’m-I’m sorry. I-uh-I mean. Shit! I though you were asleep. He moved his hands and his body from me.
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I flipped over to see my brother about to hop off the bed. His eyes were wide and full of shame and fear. “I’m sorry.” I got up on my knees. “Mikey, please. Please don’t be-” Whatever he was about to say was cut off by my lips.
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His shock ended and he kissed me back with vigor. His tongue immediately flicked out to lick my lips. Now, it was my turn to be in shock. This is my first kiss. I don’t know how to kiss. I’m 14 for crying out loud! I don’t want to totally ruin my first kiss with my brother and have him realize I’m too young and innocent and inexperienced so he’ll never want to kiss me again.
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When I didn’t kiss back he pulled back. I opened my eyes and he was looking at me worried. “Are you okay Mikey?”
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“Um, yeah. I’m fine.” I leant back in to kiss him. He put his hand on my shoulder to hold me back.
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“I don’t care,” Gee whispered.
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“Huh?”
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“I don’t care that you can’t kiss.”
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“How’d you know it was that?” He smiled and leant in to whisper in my ear.
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“I’m your brother.” Gee licked my earlobe. “I know *everything*.” A bite on my ear caused me to shudder.
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“Isn’t that a bad thing?” Shouldn’t he be repulsed I kissed him? Well he did come onto me first, “What? Me being your brother is a good thing?”
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“Well not necessarily. It depends on how you look at it.” His hand rested on my neck. “And this is how I’m looking at it: I know everything about you and vice versa. So there is absolutely nothing to be shy about.” His thumb was rubbing my cheek.
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“So what do we do know?” I asked almost timidly.
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“Well, I *can* think of a few things.” He smiled and kissed me. This kiss was full of raw emotion. As if he wanted to kiss me for as long as I wanted to kiss him. Gee’s hand picked up mine and put it on his back. The same one picked up my other one and laid it on his chest. Gee then placed his hand on my waist. Our tongues danced with one another. I felt like I was falling. Which I found out I really was once my head hit the pillow. Apparently Gee pushed me back and climbed on top of me. His mouth didn’t leave mine when he reached for the drawstring of my sweatpants.
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“No. Stop.” I said in between kisses. He didn’t stop but just kept going and ravished my neck. “Stop. Please.” Nothing still. “Gerard! I said stop. Please, Gerard.” He looked up to me, eyes full of love…no lust. Full of lust.
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“What’s wrong Hun?” Gerard was playing dumb. He had on that innocent look that could fool anyone. But not me.
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“I said stop.” My voice was small and so easily shaken.
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“Right. I’m sorry. I forgot you’ve never done this before.” The look in his eyes faded and he rolled off of me. “Do you want to go back to your bed?” I shook my head. “Then let me take care of this.” His hands slithered down his body and he pushed down his boxers. His erection sprang free right away. One hand snaked its way down to stroke himself while the other grasped the bed sheets.
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His eyes fluttered closed as he fisted himself, having no care whatsoever that I was sitting right next to him. I stared at him. Gee’s eyes were shut tight and his back was slightly arched off the bed. Gee was starting to moan. His head was thrashing from side to side in bliss, and I had no idea what to do.
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Apparently Gee knew I was having trouble for he took his free hand and grabbed mine then placed it on his throbbing member. “P-Please, Mikey.” Since when did Gee resort to begging? I guess he does when he’s desperate. I laid my hand their and was planning on not moving it but the look in his eyes and the plead in his eyes were telling me to help him. After a few moments of consideration I finally started to move my hand; his head went back in ecstasy. Gee’s moaning became very loud. His hand landed back on mine, silently telling me to continue and go faster. “Come on Mikey!” He was crying out now. What was I doing wrong? “Mikey I think I’m gonna-” He practically screamed my name and arched his back all the way off the bed, thrusting into my hand as he came.
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His come was all thick and gooey. And it made me slightly repulsed. Gee’s breathing was still fast and he was trying to control it. “Um, Gee?”
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He looked up at me through half-hooded eyes. “Oh, right,” he chuckled. With his eyes still closed he felt around for something on the table beside the bed. “Here.” Gee handed me what felt like a tissue. I took it and quickly wiped the sticky come off my hand. He chuckled again, “If you didn’t want to then you didn’t have to. You coulda ju-” His words were cut off by my lips once more. I guess when I’m in a compromising position I resort to the only thing I can do. Kiss him.
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“Okay. I just had to make sure. Do you want me to take care of you?” He asked motioning to my ‘little’ problem. I shook my head. “Okay.” Gee pulled me down on top of him so my head was on his chest and my hand laid on his waist.
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“Mikey? You awake?” The second time this night he asked me that. But this time I answered:
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“No.” He laughed silently and his chest shook sending thrills through my body. “Maybe another night.” I said. God I hope he knew what I meant. I didn’t want to explain.
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“Whenever you’re ready, babe.” He did. Gee started to brush my hair with his hand and I purred. “I love ya, Mikes.”
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“Love ya too.”