Why am i falling in love with this guy? Didn't I hate him yesterday?!?!?!

I woke up smiling.

It took my head a while to catch up to my lips but I finally remembered. Ah, Scott. Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott, Scott.

Scott Wright!

Yesterday, jogging up to my steps to see me. Oh, wonderful yesterday! I gave a pensive sigh, heading to the bathroom and turning on the water for a warm shower. I spent a good 20 minutes in there, nearly emptying my Vive Pro conditioner, glossing up my hair. 10 minutes later found me combing out lingering wet tangles while ransacking my closet. Just what I needed, another clothing crisis at seven in the morning! Though in the end, I settled on my best fitting black corduroys and a teal plaid blouse. Staring into my bathroom mirror, I was satisfied with my just-enough wavy hair and raspberry lip tint. I was so ready for Scott!

Throughout the car ride, I felt like I was listening to a broken record player: “I can’t wait to see Tucker! I can’t wait to see Tucker! I. Can’t. Wait. To see Tucker!”

By the time we drove up to the curb, I was bubbling with anticipation. I scrambled out but found that I couldn’t. At every tug, I felt something restrain me, specifically my back pack. It was entwined with the seat belt and the more I struggled to liberate my bag, the more ridiculous I looked. Alas, it all went slack and seatbelt material slinked into its crevice to the side as I fought to regain balance. Ali was leaning over from the driver’s seat, her finger on the buckle button, her face smirking. The Problem: I had somehow idiotically buckled before I’d ever settled into the seat. Great job, stupid.

“Is, chill! I get that you’re excited but have some common sense! You don’t see me acting retarded.”

“Yeah? Well you don’t hear me squawking Tucker every other second!”

“You’re jealous,” she countered.

With a final glare, I slammed the car door in her face and sauntered away calmly, like her words hadn’t stung me. It seemed like I was the only one missing a guy. Ali had her romantic Tucker. Ashley had Jake. Even though they’re over, Ashley has Stephen, and even snooty Heather had snatched up Jake. And Scott was stuck with Miss I-Don’t-Deserve-Him Brianna.

Ashley has Stephen. Well, that’s not wholly true, but the way they’re heading, completely unaware of anyone but each other, they are bound to end up in a relationship. I mean, they have a date…

Tonight.

Oh shoot.

My frown deepened upon remembering. A date. Another. And this time, it had been Stephen to proffer the invitation. What if Stephen really liked Ashley? Like, really like likes Ashley?

Well, what did I care? I like Scott.

And Stephen could date whoever he wanted. I wouldn’t care.

Or am I lying to myself?

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

I stalked into math first thing, my early morn’s hyperactivity knocked out. With a scowl residing my face, I was like a radioactive jug of toxin; back off unless you wanna suffer the consequences. I mean, I’m nowhere near as “Ooh, Look At Me!” as Heather Petrini or other such man-eaters but when I’m acting outa my status quo, I’m noticed a lot more than I’d ever expect to be. I don't ever start my day off grimacing. I believe if you smile or laugh, the rest of your day will unfold as pleasantly as you appear to be, but today, I couldn't. So when I entered the room, I swear some hearts stopped. They were probably thinking, “O God, it’s the apocalypse!”

I silent eyeballs follow me, fearful of my every move. Amongst the eyes, were Stephen and Ashley’s, side by side. I tossed my bag to the floor beside the desk on Stephen’s other side, but before I could even react, scum slid into my seat.

What’s up with Jude Richard always stealing people’s seats?!

“My bag was there, Jude.”

“But you weren’t. Maybe you’ll be faster at practice later,” she said with a fake smile. I wanted to tear it off her face for the violent pleasure of it.

Without wasting another breath on her, I took up my bag and stomped past to a seat in the very back row, where all that could be heard was the loud screeching from earphones. I took out my own ipod, stuck the ear pieces in firmly, and relaxed as N.E.R.D. blared. The punks and other hoodlums around me who had also observed me uncomfortably, seemed to relax in acceptance. “It’s all good! She’s not gonna snitch on us! She’s one of us,” I heard them loudly whisper.

Up ahead, I saw Ashley and Stephen’s mouths moving, but all I could hear come out were the lyrics:

Sooner or later,
It all comes crashing down
Crashing down
When everyone’s around…
…So you’re sad
About the moment you lost your love
You couldn’t see her leaving…

I silenced the song and took out one side, trying to pick up what I could hear above the raucous.

“You think she’s alright? I haven’t seen her this gloomy in forever.” Ashley.

“I don’t really know… I don’t know her too well.” Stephen.

“You don’t know her too well? You’re her best friend!”

“I am?” Silence. Did he really not know that, after all those times he spoke like we were? We are? Well, we are best friends… Aren’t we? Does it count if one of the best friends doesn’t know he’s best friends with the other best friend? “Well, you’ve been her best friend way longer, Ashley.”

“Like it matters cuz I think this is my fault… I guess I’ve kinda been ignoring her… I don’t blame her for being shady… Ugh, and that Jude!”

“Sh! She’s right next to me!”

“Like I care… hey, do you think Is knows about… about our date tonight?”

“Why does it matter?”

Whatever was said next I didn't catch because my surroundings became increasingly louder.

“Wake up, class, because we’ve much to review before Friday’s test.”

Great. Just what I needed, a test I’ll fail. But despite my apparent need to study, I brought out the Spark Book and completely ignored Mr. Wolfe. Like I’ll ever learn!

Up ahead, I saw Scott, sitting with his usual jock friends. His face was screwed up in concentration, but it didn’t last long cuz one of the guys whispered something, and Scott began struggling with silent laughs. He really too cute.

When the quaking laughter ceased, Scott turned around, as if he’d known I’d been watching, and smiled, making me squirm with surprise and joy. I instinctively grinned back. Wow, that was weird… but in a very nice way! It was then that I was glad I’d gone outa my way to look nice.

I was still staring straight ahead, not seeing or hearing Wolfe, only Scott and the famous visit of yesterday. Breaking my trance was tapping on my shoulder. I turned to my right to stare back at Jay Mastermen, confusion scrawled on my face. “Pen,” he mouthed. Without a second thought, I grabbed one from my sack and carelessly sent it his way. He caught it, just barely, but he still had both his eyes intact so I went back to daydreaming. Remember how I said Jay looked kinda smug on the first day? Well, I take that back. Turns out he’s actually a nice guy, real quiet and laidback.

I suddenly felt bad that I was coming off as hostile, especially to a guy who hasn’t hurt me in anyway. I turned back to see him and found two glassy hazels on me, which kinda freaked me out. Immediately, Jay diverted his eyes as if he’d been casually looking around. He wasn’t fast enough.

Weird thing number two…

A smile was gradually slipping back into place as the day wound on. Stares I could easily avoid, hands however, was not so easy. She slid her arm through the crook of my elbow, and we walked that way for two eternal minutes, my small smile straightening out into pursed lips. I didn’t need to see to know.

“Is, are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Are you mad at Jude?”

“Yes.”

“Are you mad I didn't save you a seat?”

“Look, I’m fine! So what if I didn't sit next to you? I don't got to everyday!”

Eek. Temper, temper, Ms. Santos.

She pulled me to a full halt to fully face me.

“What’s up that you’re not telling me? Is… is it me and Stephen?”

That’s one of the things I love and hate about Ashley; she hits me right between the eyes.

I bit my lip. “No.”

She didn’t buy it. “So it is us.”

Us? Maybe if she didn’t refer to Stephen that way I wouldn’t be so… so… so… UGH!

“Fine Ashley, you know what? I’m sick of being ignored… like I’m not your friend anymore!”

“You feel like I’m ignoring you for Stephen?”

“Yes!”

“Well that’s how I felt.”

Realization dawning.

“But, why is it sucha big deal that I like Stephen?”

“It’s not! Well, it is but… You know, both you and Stephen are my friends, and having both you guys zoning me out sucks. And… I don’t want either of you guys hurt.”

“Stephen’s a great guy. I know he’d never hurt me, and I wouldn’t him. And I’m sorry we haven’t been listening to you lately. And I… I don’t know exactly what you think about but I hope you can put your own opinions aside and be happy for me. Jake really hurt me, and Stephen’s what I need right now. So, don’t abandon me, okay?”

God, I felt bad. All that energy wasted complaining, when I was just being selfish. Ashley was right; I should be happy for her. “Oh, I’m sorry too Ashley. I’ve just been… really confused.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just go and fill out our sign ups!”

It was after lunch that we finally got to the bulletins. My spirits renewed, I gently but determinedly pushed through the current of people to the hanging sheets that were my club and org. options.

“There it is!” shrieked Ashley. She swooped and grabbed a pen suspended by a string, and scrawled her name, grade, and a one on a line. The sheet was titled “Social Events Committee”. “What are you gonna go for, Is?”

“I think I’ll try something new this year.”

Ashley was surprised but said nothing. I read through the titles: Social Events Committee, Student Council, Painting, Drawing, Woodshop, Ceramics, Eco Club, Computing, Greenhouse Group, Comm Serv, A capella, Chorus, School Orchestra, Home Ec, and other such that I was too lazy to read. Oh, and Photography too.

Hm, Photography sounds good. I mean, it can’t hurt to widen my creative horizons right?

Under the uncomfortably eye of Ashley, I filled it out, placing a one on the line like she had. She didn’t say a word. We filled out our second choices, mine being painting and Ashley’s being chorus. Just as I’d finished, someone brushed my arm while groping for a pen.

Jake. Lucky me.

“Watch it, jerk.”

“Jeez, calm down…”

“Excuse me?”

“Just cuz I don’t like Ashley doesn’t mean you have the right to always be treating me like dirt. I want respect, Isabelle.”

He was two inches taller so I had to look up at him. That didn’t change the fact he was dirt. I took a step closer till I was sure he could feel the anger radiate from me. I met his gaze with mine and his seemed to suddenly waver.

“Like you know anything about respect,” I spat. He faltered, taking a step back. I ate in the moment; tormenting Jake was becoming pretty fun. That done, I fiercely turned away, my hair whip lashing him, and dragged Ashley out with me.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Tugging. Struggling yet again to retrieve a bag of mine, this time from the clutches of my locker. The hall was cleared by now; everyone had either gone home at 2:15 or was already down on the fields for sports practice. God, this was not my fault to begin with! If only Physics hadn’t let us out so freakin late!

I had both palms wrapped around worn strips that were the gym bag’s handles. Even with one foot on the ground and the other pushing off against the wall, the obese bag would not budge. God, make a miracle happen, NOW!

Ironically, the whole kaboodle came sliding out with ease, as if the sides had been greased with slippery oil from the start. However, I wasn't braced for this sudden accomplishment and with the help of gravity and force, all my weight went toppling backwards. Spine and head met linoleum as sports bag met stomach as silence met my “Oof!”

“O jeez, I’m so sorry! I was just trying to help!”

Holy, was I hearing God’s sent angel?

I stopped wincing long enough to peel my eyes open and see the face of Jay, my “savior” if you wanna call him that.

“Head hurts,” was the smartest thing I could think of through the throbbing. Really, why is my big head such an easy target?

Jay moved my bag off of me and grabbed my arm as he helped me up. I laid my head against his shoulder, which was surprisingly firm, until my senses rushed back and I jerked away.

“Um, thanks… a lot, really.” I stared down at my sneakers. O God, I could feel my cheeks burn.

“Yeah, it’s cool. I just came to give you back your pen but I saw you seriously struggling so I thought I’d try and help.” He extended my pen, the pretty purple and pink one that had my name on it.

Holy, that’s embarrassing. I must have looked pathetic getting worked up over a bag! I also must’ve looked like a tomato by then; I needed to get out, fast!

“Thanks Jay, f-for everything but I really n-need to get to practice cuz I’m so late!” I spluttered. Snatching my pen and my sports bag, I turned to leave, stumbling all the way down the hall and around the corner before he could say anything more. Yet my thoughts still lingered to the encounter. He could’ve just kept the pen till tomorrow or something, but instead he scouted me out long after school let out. Wait, no time for thinking! Late, late, late!

Running out onto the field five minutes later, I was still adjusting all my gear. After a brief “How was your summer?” “Good thanks, and yours?” “Wonderful! Good to see you again!” with Coach Guy, she pointed me to a small circle of five girls. I jogged over and the girls spread out to make room for me as we stretched. To my dismay, Jude was opposite me in the circle.

“It’s about time, Is. Trying to play hooky, were we?”

“Haha. So funny how I’d try to play hooky on the intro practice.”

“Have a sense of humor. You’re so uptight!”

“Maybe I’d laugh if you were actually funny. You’re just faking your way to Ste-”

“Calm down girls. We’re a team so let’s act like one and teach the newbies something,” advised Shanti, a twelfth grader. I went back to lunges without seeing Jude’s face, determined to outplay her today. Refocusing my attention, I saw that there were two ninth graders and a junior that were new to the team in my warm-up circle. One of the ninth graders was standing beside me, so I tried opening up conversation.

“I’m Isabelle,” I said, waving slightly.

“Hi, I’m Maya.”

“You been playing for a while?”

She looked utterly confused so I indicated her lacrosse stick, smiling. “Lacrosse I mean.”

“Oh! Uh, not really. I just started last year so I’ll definitely be the teams weakest link…”

“You’ll be fine! I mean, at least you’ve got some experience. I don't think I saw you on campus last year.”

“You didn't. I transferred this year from Park School. I like Mobles way more though! There are better facilities, great teachers, and way friendlier kids,” she said smiling.

I laughed. Not because anything she said was funny but because this must be the same overwhelming thing Stephen’s going through. The same huge transfer that’s marks a new chapter for him, a new beginning.

I should be happy for him…

“Girls, time to come in!” boomed Coach Guy. “We’re gonna go through some exercises then have a good long scrimmage. Now get back into your circles and I’ll come around in a bit. Oh, and welcome all.” Wow, how heartfelt.

Alas, scrimmage arrived and to my huge relief, I was playing against Jude. It was my opportunity to destroy the trash.

My team of 9 huddled, and I immediately chose attacker, simply because I was good at it. Shanti got goalie, hands down. There’s no one more made for goalkeeping than her. We decided for three midfielders and three attackers, defense lacking a person, but Shanti would keep all shots out anyways.

Maya, on my team, was at face-off against Jude. O God, I was scared for her. Richard’s the most competitive person in this school, and when she’s got a lethal weapon in her hand, she’s the last person you wanna come near. Seriously, she’s scary evil! Hence the whole interference with Stephen and Ashley. Like she said herself, she goes after what she wants, and this time, she had a stick in hand and was probably gonna crush Maya to get the rubber sucker. Rarely does Jude ever lose in a face-off. They stood facing each other, Maya’s back blocking Jude’s figure.

Coach Guy’s shrill whistle pierced all ears as the sound of metal on metal commenced.

Sprinting up, my eyes still on Maya, I was stunned to see her pass the ball to one of our midfielders and was satisfied to see a stricken Jude. Wow, so the new girl does have some moves.

After just a few minutes, everyone was breaking a sweat, the pace was slowing, and no goal had arrived.

“Getcha head in the game!” someone shouted. Ha, like I’d listen to advice straight from High School Musical.

Everything changed quickly. I jogged around the attack area, waiting for a pass. The ball landed in the open midfield and Maya sprinted after it, a sophomore chasing her. As the sophomore closed the distance, I became frantic: “Hurry, Maya! Pass!” She made it just in time to scoop it up flawlessly and project it my way. It was straying; I’d have to sprint to catch it. Then I panicked. Jude was on defense and could easily catch the ball before me. I felt fire spark in me and hunted down that ball, determined to reach it before Jude could even react. I snaked up beside her, our sticks colliding to catch the gold. Jude’s weak grip sent her stick astray and I took control of the ball as she watched, paralyzed. I ran a short distance until I was close enough to the goal but away from their defensemen, and then the baby flew, flew like Colly flies, riding on the wind and breezing right past the goalie above her head.

My team cheered and Coach blew her whistle to dissect the highlights of that portion. Everyone jogged passed me, giving me a congratulatory pat or five. I walked slowly, exhausted, thinking no one was behind me. I was staring straight ahead at the rest of the team, huddled around Coach’s booming voice.

As the team came nearer, something collided with my skull, and the ground became all I could see.

“I warned you two to stay away from him,” was the last thing that echoed through the dark.