All Time Low [One Shot] Jasey Rae

Okay, so I was just going to post this like your everyday story, but then I sent this to my friend Megan [sk8rgurl17] so that she could proofread it. Whenever she sent it back, she sent me a message that said "Alex seems like a total self-absorbed asshole in this". I don't think he does. I think he sounds real. I think that's why I love this song so much, because it's truthful. It's real. The song admits that they made a mistake, but it's not like they're dying for forgiveness. It's admitting that it's a jerk, and it deserves to be scolded, but it won't change who it is. Besides, I think that might be who Alex is. He seems cocky, like he can be a pretty charming smooth-talker. He wouldn't be who he is if he didn't make a couple girls fall in love with him on the way, without really wanting a lot from them. Anyway, that's just my view. Sorry if this makes some die-hard fans mad if they feel I made Alex to be a total asshole, but I just interpreted the song and added my own fantasies on it to make a one shot. I told Megan this, she read it again, and finally started to see that I wasn't making him a jerk, just a NORMAL, cocky guy. I'm curious to see what you guys think, your imput on this. So, please message and we'll talk. NOW! Without further ado, ON TO THE STORY
BY THE WAY: The sentences in italics are the parts that Alex is singing, if you can't figure it out.

The lights on the stage darkened, leaving only a single spotlight. The rabid cheering of the fans slowly died down with the lights. For such a small bar, it was a wonder how so many people could fit inside, crammed wall-to-wall.

Alex Gaskarth grabbed his lucky acoustic guitar off its stand, putting up his hoodie. He took a deep breath before taking a confident step into the beam of light. Again, the crowd stirred excitedly as he sat on the stool that had been placed there for him.

“You guys having a good time tonight?” Alex asked, a small smirk on his lips as he absentmindedly strummed a couple key chords for the song he was about to do. The fans cheered and whooped, whistling at their favorite lead singer.

He chuckled, looking out at the mass of people. It felt good, to only have one CD out and have the beginnings of a solid fan base. Fans were part of what made their music what it is.

“Good, nice,” Alex grinned, flicking his head slightly so his hair was out of his face, “I’m going to play you guys a new song.”

Again, more cheers. Alex figured that even if he yelled “FUCK YOU!” to the entire crowd, they’d still give him applause.

“It’s a little diddy I like to call Jasey Rae, you guys can find it on our next CD, So Wrong, it’s Right. Hope you guys like it,” his lips brushed lightly against the microphone as he spoke.

Bobbing his head slightly as he came up with the right beat, he broke into the opening part of the song.

The chords came easily to his fingers, he must have played this song over a thousand times ever since it was born.

It’s amazing how the crowd was now in a quiet lull, all listening to the soft music coming from his guitar. All of them looked intent with just listening to the music, enjoying it for what it was.

Alex wanted them to revel in it, he wanted them to feel every emotion he had spilled in this song. He wanted them to take from it what they could, to maybe be able to pull something away from this song that will help them find solace in their own lives.

By creating his experiences in a song, he was practically cutting open his chest and baring it for everyone to see.

He closed his eyes as the spotlight dimmed on him.

“The lights out, I still hear the rain-”

Jasey giggled, her legs felt wobbly underneath her as Alex pulled her away from the bonfire. The group that they were with suddenly scattered as the lightening shook the ground. He sloppily grinned back at her, one hand gripping onto her wrist and the other securely around a bottle of cheap beer.

“Where are we going?” Jasey asked, almost tripping from the soft buzz she had going on. Alex paused for a moment, making sure she was okay before he continued pulling her toward the back shed.

Everyone else avoided the sudden downpour by heading to the house, but Alex had other ideas as he tugged Jasey into the darkened shed, shutting the door behind them.

You could only hear the sharp rain hitting the roof of the small shed that smelled like gasoline, only see the soft features of everything by the pale moonlight. The beams cast an almost heavenly glow on Jasey.

A soft buzz came to his head, not because of the alcohol, but because of the girl sitting in front of him.

A year later, Jasey and Alex stood secluded in a small house.

“Alex,” Jasey said softly, stepping toward him. He fought the urge to selfishly enwrap her in his arms, comb his fingers through her dark hair as he lifted her mouth to his. His hands were itching to touch her again.

“These images, that fill my head, now keep my fingers from making mistakes-”

A flash of how she had looked at Alex the night they were in the shed came to the back of his eyelids. She had seemed so hopeful, so young…

So gullible.

Then, without warning, another memory came to him as he stared wordlessly at the beautiful, broken girl in front of him.

Jasey, standing with her arms crossed, eyes watering as he walked away, swiftly climbing into Zack’s beat up truck. It took a moment for him to fully shake the aching images out of his head

The small get-together chattered in the living room, their voices gently echoed around in the kitchen.

Alex gulped, looking over into the warm room just feet away from them.

“Tell my voice what it takes, to speak up, speak up and keep my conscious clear, when I wake-”

He told himself over and over just to talk to her, stop her before she got any further. Alex couldn’t believe that she was actually at this little party, that after everything he had done to her, she still could look him straight in the eye.

Almost in a forgiving way.

How could her eyes seem so soft as they looked at him, when he had taken everything away from her?

“Can we go outside for a moment?” Alex said, finally clearing his throat and pointing outside. Jasey slowly took her gaze away from him, looking out the nearest window to the dark, cold night.

“Why?” she asked, raising a delicate eyebrow. Her deep brown eyes searched his, giving her that puppy look.

“I just wanna talk,” he replied, gesturing to the vivid room where it seemed everyone was having a much better night than he was.

Jasey sighed, compliantly nodding her head. Alex permitted himself to gently grab her fingers with his, leading her to the back of the house. He couldn’t help but bitterly think about the night he had led her to the shed, only for his own selfish purposes.

When the back door finally shut behind them, Alex wasted no time in turning to Jasey.

“Say it,” he said suddenly, making Jasey’s eyebrows knit together.

“Say what?”

“You know what,” Alex murmured, running a hand through his shaggy hair and tapping his foot impatiently. Jasey looked at the ground, gulping as she slowly caught on. “Yell at me. Tell me everything you’ve been waiting to say to me ever since I left to work on the record.”

She looked up at him, still as beautiful as ever. It almost made his heart break, he couldn’t believe that he had used such an innocent girl.

Innocence.

Maybe that’s what had attracted him to her so much in the first place. She always treated everything like it was some wonderful new experience, like she never had a boring minute to waste.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this,” she said quietly, even though her voice was firm and unwavering. Alex could practically feel himself shaking in his shoes, trying to prepare himself for the whirlwind that was surely coming his way. “I forgive you, even though what you did to me was wrong.”

Shock spread quickly through Alex’s veins as cold wind brushed unforgivingly against his face.

“What?” he asked, “That’s it?”

“Yes,” Jasey said, staring straight up at him with a sort of confidence.

“Don’t make this easy-”

“Jasey, I can’t believe that’s all you have to say…” Alex said, shaking his head.

Alex needed her to yell, to scream, to show that he was finally getting the bad karma back that he seemed to have a habit of spreading.

“You were just wrong to use me like that,” she said. Her quiet, calm voice was killing him. He’s been carrying this monkey on his back for the past year, there never passed a day that he didn’t think about what he did to her.

“I want you to mean it, Jasey-”

“Say it to me like I deserve,” Alex tried, taking a step forward and placing a hand on his chest. He slightly leaned down to become more on an eye level with her.

A solid year of guilt, and all she could do was softly tell him he had been wrong?

“I can’t say it like you deserve to hear it,” Jasey said, “Because I’ve already decided that I’ve forgiven you.”

Alex stared at her, she looked too beautiful in her regular jeans and t-shirt, hair waving down gently past her shoulders.

“You’re dressed to kill-”

“Jasey. You can’t only have that to say to me. You’re holding back,” Alex said, shaking his head at her.

“I’m calling you out-”
And yet, she still gazed at him with that same hopeful expression she always used to. He had become almost an expert at reading expressions like that on girls. His heart felt like it was slowly crushing itself, why did he feel so guilty for never feeling the way that she seemed to feel about him?

Even back in the shed, he hadn’t exactly chosen her out from the other girls because the two of them had amazing chemistry. Alex had been surprised when she even followed him to that shed, not brushing him away.

“Don’t waste your time on me-”

Alex reached forward, brushing the hair out of Jasey’s face as he ignored the stinging smell of the shed and bend his face toward hers.

The first kiss was easy, smooth.

She warmly replied to him, wrapping her arms around his torso. He pulled her tight, letting his hands explore.

Her shirt came off.

His shirt came off.

Just as he was fumbling with the top button on her jeans, Jasey giggled.

“Alex,” she said, pushing his hands away. As he slowly tried to think through where he had gone wrong, Jasey laid on the dusty floor next to where Alex kneeled. “Let’s just talk.”

Alex sighed, running a string of choice words through his mind. He had successfully gotten the shirt off one of the most beautiful girls he knew, and now, she just wanted to talk.

The rain still clanked against the tiny building, you could hear it silently streaming down the grassy hill where they had all just been sitting. Jasey stared out the window, placing a hand on her bare stomach as she gazed at the rain.

Biting his lip, Alex decided to lay next to her. He wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“When are you guys leaving to do your tour?” Jasey asked suddenly. The whole band had been talking about it nonstop ever since they had a possible record deal. First, they just had to go out and spread their music a bit before they could release a CD.

“Two weeks,” he said, nonchalantly smoothing his hand across her stomach, holding onto the curve of her smooth waist.

“Wow,” she whispered, still looking outside, “I’d give anything to get out of Lutherville.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty lucky,” Alex mumbled, only one thing on his mind. He gently kissed her ear, causing her to giggle again.

“Now there’s an aching in my back-”

He wanted her so bad.

Even if Jasey wasn’t the type of girl he’d want to make commitments with, there was no one in this world he wanted more than her right now.

“A stabbing pain that says I lack-”

A light guilt overtook him for some unknown reason, maybe because he was only doing this for his own selfish reasons. Alex shrugged it off as best he could, gently sliding his body closer to hers. If only he could get her to stop talking…

“Maybe I should go with you guys,” Jasey teased, slightly squishing her nose as she turned to face Alex. A cheeky smile graced his lips, and he said the first thing that came to his mind.

“That’s actually a great idea. If you really want to, you should come with us. It’ll be awesome. You’ll live with us on the road,”

“The common sense, and confidence, to bring an end to promises-”

Her eyes got big as she slowly realized he wasn’t joking around with her.

Alex reached forward with his mouth again, pleased when she happily replied. Jasey pulled away for a moment, looking him squarely in the eye.

“Alex Gaskarth, are you serious? Or are you just fooling around?” she asked solemnly. Alex looked at her like she was slightly insane, fingers already slowly inching toward her waistband.

“I’m dead serious, I think it would be amazing to have you with me when we go,” he replied, just as serious.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Alex replied without hesitating.

Her eyes lit up, hopeful, young, and trusting. Before she had another chance to talk, Alex kissed her again.

“That I make in times of desperate conversation-”

Alex took her hungrily, he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. With a self-absorbed thought about how he was going to tell his friends that he had gotten Jasey, the Jasey to sleep with him, he felt that little bit of guilt again.

“Hoping my night will be better than theirs in the end, just say when-”

Alex closed his eyes, picturing Jasey’s face behind his closed lids as he continued with serenading the crowd. How they absorbed this song without question made him feel that at least a little justice was served.

He wondered if they’d interpret the song the way it was meant to be taken.

Through Jasey Rae, Alex was admitting he’s an asshole.

There was a girl out there who was named Jasey who he had taken advantage of, lied to, then left. She had somehow buried in her heart to find the courage to forgive him, and even then, he hadn’t been able to give her the kind of love she deserved.

“I’ve never told a lie, and that makes me a liar,” Alex sang, subconsciously agreeing that he was a bit of a sneaky, lying bastard. But that’s what made him his usual cocky self.

“I’ve never made a bet, but we gamble with desire,”

Every chance he ever took on a girl was usually for his own wants and needs, but every now and then, he’d be surprised with a girl that would make him feel like he’s never felt before.

Unfortunately, Jasey hadn’t been one of those girls.

“I’ve never lit a match, with intent to start a fire; but recently the flames are getting out of control,” Alex sang on. Everything that he ever did always seemed to have the avalanche effect, he would be the first one to admit it. He could start forest fires with the small intent of lighting a sparkler.

Alex slowly started to remember his frustration with Jasey when they had finally had their confrontation behind his friend’s house.

“I’m not holding back anything,” Jasey had replied smoothly, crossing her arms. Alex shook his head, looking off into the distant black of the night.

“Tell me I’m a lying bastard!”

“Call me a name, kill me with words-”

“No, Alex. I can’t say that if I’ve already forgiven you, I’m willing to move on. I want us to be able to move on. The only thing I regret is not being able to fully let you go,” Jasey said softly, starting to shiver a little bit from the chill. Even though it was cold outside, a small blush formed on her cheeks as she was truthful with him.

“No,” Alex murmured, kicking at a crack in the cement they stood on.

“Forget about me, it’s what I deserve-”

“Make this quick, man, we gotta get going,” Zack called out of the open window at his friend. Alex nodded back grimly at him, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking up to where Jasey stood outside of her house.

Even as they stood there and looked at each other, Alex could see the small quivering of her bottom lip.

“You promised,” she finally whispered. He sighed, glancing back at the car for a moment.

“I know,” he replied, just as quiet. For the past two weeks, he’d been getting as much as he could out of the relationship, knowing damn well that he was going to end up breaking up with her, leaving her by the end of the time limit.

The guilt was slowly growing inside of him, but his selfishness covered it up.

“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this to me…” Jasey forced herself to look up at him, making him see the pain in her eyes. Tears of false promises welled over her bottom lids, cascading sorrowfully down her cheeks.

Alex looked away, he couldn’t stand to look at her right now.

“I was your chance, to get out of this town-”

“I’m sorry,” he said, surprising himself by how dull it came out.

Yes, Jasey was beautiful, she was charming, but he had a whole world out ahead of him now. As bad as it sounded, he couldn’t bring himself to be held down by anything at this moment.

“No you’re not,” she said coarsely, her words came out like the definition of sadness. Alex couldn’t believe she’d really fallen that deep, that fast for his ways of weaving words.

“Look, Jasey. I gotta go. I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry, you can believe it if you want to,” Alex said, keeping the same dry tone to his voice. Jasey didn’t reply, a soft sob came from deep in her chest, as if she was trying to keep it in.

A moment passed where he was completely tempted to reach over and comfort the poor girl, at least brush her cheek.

But he clenched his fists to stop himself, turned his back, and gracefully strutted back over to where Zack waited.

“But I ditched the car, and let you down-”

Alex permitted himself one last glance before climbing into the car.

What a beautiful mess he was leaving behind.

“Jasey,” Alex sighed, shaking his head. He looked inside the window, looking past the kitchen to the doorway that led to the living room. If Jasey was going to try and act above it all, and not even yell at him, he didn’t know what he was doing with her outside.

Alex was a little bitter as he noticed how selfish, self-absorbed he was being again. The only reason he had wanted Jasey to yell at him was because of his growing guilt.

He was never in love, or falling in love, with Jasey.

Nor was he now.

“I understand that you never really felt the same way about me as I feel about you, and I’m slowly coming to terms with that. I guess I just want to let you know-”

“I’m going back inside,” Alex said suddenly, scratching his chin then quickly walking back into the warm house. He heard the door shut behind him, she didn’t follow. She stayed out in the back.

“Wait outside-”

Alex glanced out the window as he slowly retrieved another beer out of the fridge. You could see her breath raising in small clouds.

“I hope the air will serve to remind you, that my heat is as cold as the clouds of your breath-”

Shaking his head, the guilt being slowly stowed away in him again, Alex walked into the living room and plopped down onto the couch next to Jack Barakat.

“Hey, where’s Jasey?” Jack asked quietly as the others continued on their conversations. Alex sighed, cracking open his drink and taking a long sip of it.

“She’s still outside,” Alex said simply.

And the subject was dropped.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Alex replied without hesitating.

Then, ear-splitting cheers and applause filled the room, making it nearly impossible to hear what was going on a foot away.

Alex felt his normal, cocky smile float back to his lips as he leaned back into the mike.

“Thank you, I really hope you guys liked it,” he said, nodding his head then getting up. As he walked offstage to get his normal guitar, the lights lit back up on stage, and everything that had happened the moment before was now slowly being forgotten as the whole band made their way onto the stage again.

As Alex placed the guitar strap over his shoulder, he allowed himself to be lost in memories for one more moment. He let the image of Jasey run through his mind one last time, then quickly brushed her away, walking up to the mike.

“Okay, you guys have really been great tonight. This next song is one I hope you all know, it’s called Coffee Shop Soundtrack,” he said confidently.

The crowd erupted in cheers again as they led into the song.

“Should I write myself out of the history books-”

Another story slowly started to unweave.