Episode Two: Adequate Ami
ON THE PLANE
Once I had gotten my food and Greenboy had stopped flirting with the flight attendant, we had boarded the plane and learned our attendant's name. Her name was Yaminasha Sancho, and she was from India.
"When's this f**kin' plane gonna land? I'm f**kin' tired of this sh*t!" Greenboy whined.
"Soon. Only an hour to go," I smiled.
"That's too f**kin' long! Where's our hot-ass flight attendant?"
"In the kitchen, making your special dessert."
"But I don't need no f**kin' dessert!!"
It continued on like this for a while, until Ms. Sancho came back.
"Here's your homemade cherry pie! I made it specially for you, Kyle," She smiled,
showing her beautiful, white teeth.
"Oooh, cherry pie?" he grabbed it and dug in.
"Ha," I giggled.
"Most boys are suckers for cherry pie," Ms. Sancho told me.
"Oh, really? That gives me an idea..." I smiled evilly.
"Heh. Good luck with whatever that is," she gave me a thumbs-up.
"Call me Greenboy, and can I get a piece of you, too?" Greenboy asked, replying to the sound of his birth name.
We girls laughed.
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AFTER THE LANDING
"Well, that took f**kin' forever!" Greenboy threw his arms up in the air.
"Yeah, well, look at the bright side: It's over."
"Whatever."
After gettting off the plane, Greenboy and I had found our way into baggage claim. I
got my one suitcase in a matter of five minutes, but my misfortune then decided to kick it up a notch.
"I can't find my f**kin' bag!"
"Did it have anything of importance in it?"
"F**k, yeah! My f**kin' clothes!"
"We'll buy you new clothes! 'Sides, I thought you only had one outfit."
"I have more than one f**king outfit!" he frowned.
"Isn't that your bag?" I pointed at a green bag with black lining, completely ignoring him.
"Oh, yeah!" he picked it up and started towards the front of the airport.
"Tsk, tsk. Boys," I followed him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OUTSIDE
"How the f**k are we getting there, exactly?"
"Uh..I dunno. Got fifty cents?"
"Yeah, my last fifty cents!"
"Can I have it? Please?"
"No! And how the f**k is fifty cents gonna solve our problem?"
"I can call my other friend, Kyle. Or Stan. Or possibly Cartman."
"Oh. For f**k's sake, why didn't you say so in the first place?" he handed me two
quarters, and I walked over to the payphone on the side of the building. I slowly
started to remember Kyle's phone number and dialed it.
"Hello?"
"Oh, hi, Ms. Broflovski!"
"Ami, honey, is that you?"
"Yeah. Look, I was wondering if you could come pick me and my friend up at the
airport?"
"Oh, of course! Anything for Kyle's little friend!"
"Thanks!"
"You're very welcome. But I'm going to send Gerald, my husband, because I have to watch my other son. Is that okay?"
"That's just fine! Bye, and thanks again!"
"Good-bye! Stop over later, okay?"
"I will. Bye," I hung up the phone,"He'll be here in a bit!" I yelled to Greenboy.
"How long is a bit?" he asked when I came back over to him.
"About ten minutes," I smiled.
"Damnit, that's too f**kin' long!"
I giggled, and heard a car drive up beside us.
"Are you Ami?"
"Yes, I'm guessing you're Mr. Broflovski."
"That would be me," he smiled and gestured for us to get in.
Once we had driven a ways from the airport, he asked,"So why were you guys at the
airport?"
"Oh, I went to visit my aunt in Oregon, and I met Greenboy here, who is from
Colorado. I told him I'd take him back, but there wasn't enough room in the car, so my mom gave us money to take a plane instead."
"Oh. I see," the rest of the ride was silent. When we got there, I hopped out of the
car and walked up the doorstep, but stopped upon reaching the door.
"You didn't tell Kyle that I was coming, did you?"
"No, and I'm pretty sure my wife didn't either."
"Good."
"What the f**k you guys talkin' about?"
"My friend, not you, Greenboy."
"Oh."
We all walked in, the two males following me. I saw Kyle sitting on the couch, watching Terrance and Phillip. He turned his attention to the door.
"Ami!? Thank God you're back, dude!" he got up off the couch and ran over to us.
"Miss me much?"
"Kinda. Cartman was totally f**ked up while you were gone, though."
"Oh, really? Like, f**ked up how?"
"He was mumbling things like 'not much longer now' and 'just wait, be patient'. And he did worse than he's ever done in school, he didn't rip on me for anything, and he wasn't acting like the normal anti-semitist, racist, potty-mouth Cartman we've come to hate."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, dude!"
"We'd better go check on him. Greenboy, go next door, the red house, and pick one of
the two extra rooms. Unpack and then do whatever the hell you want. I'm going with
Kyle."
"'Kay," he ran out the door, closely followed by Kyle and me.
"So, which way's Cartman house?"
"Down this street," we walked down Bonanza Cir, and finally found Cartman's house.
"Finally!" I yelled and walked up the steps. Kyle knocked on the door and Ms. Cartman
opened it. Cartman appeared behind her and gasped.
"Ahmee?!! Yer back!!" he smiled brightly.
"Hi Cartman!"
"Woah, dude!"
"Eric, why don't you go play with your little friends?" his mom asked.
"Okay!" he closed the door in his mom's face and squeezed in between me and Kyle.
"So..where we goin'?" I asked.
"I don't know."
"How 'bout we go ta Stark's Pond?" Cartman asked cheerily.
"Uh, okay,"
"Dude, why do you wanna go to Stark's Pond?"
"Shut up, ya goddamn hippie! Ami, you can go ahead of me."
"Um, thanks."
"Anytime."
"Dude, you're crazy!" Kyle yelled.
"Yeah, Cartman, what's gotten into you?"
"Oh, nothin'..." he mumbled, and blushed.
I gave him a weird look.
"Yeah...well..I think I'm goin' home or somethin'," I pointed behind me and slowly
backed away.
"Wait, Ahmee!" Cartman said quickly, just before I ran.
"What?"
"Kahl likes you."
"What!?" Kyle and I yelled in unison.
"He told ma."
"Damnit, Cartman! I just said that 'cause you wouldn't leave me alone!" Kyle balled his fists and ground his teeth together.
"Oh my God!! That is so funny!!" I laughed, and was nearly on the ground.
"Ya don't believe ma?"
"No! Why the hell would I? You're a fat, lying son-of-a-bitch!"
"Bu-But he's Kosher Kahl!!!"
"Yeah, and I'm Adequate Ami! Get a grip!" I turned around and walked toward my home.
