"Shit I hate breakfast." Jessie couldn't hide her distaste for breakfast as Shawna was being all 'Rachel Ray' and cooking a feast. Eggs were flying and pancakes were flipping and bacon was sizzling. Jessie sat all emo on the counter, sipping Kool Aide. "Oh, shut up. The navy kindergarten taught me to ALWAYS eat a nice healthy breakfast."
"Whatever, you and your Gavy."
Shawna laughed, you know, one of her famous MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA laughs. Suddenly Jessie shushed her by throwing a pancake at her face. "SHUT UP! THEY'RE GIVING AWAY TICKETS ON THE RADIO!" Shawna quieted down just as they were informing everybody that the ninth caller would get the two free tickets to the mystery concert.
"SHAWNA GRAB THE PHONE!"
"JESSIE GRAB THE THING!"
"OKA--wait...what thing?"
"You knooooooow. The THING."
"No, I don't know, just call." Shawna dialed the number quickly and switched the phone to speakerphone. It rang 3 times before they were greeted by a lovely "YOU HAVE JUST WON THE TWO FREE TICKETS TO THE MYSTERY CONCERT! Your tickets will be delivered as soon as possible. Bye-bye now. <3" Shawna hung up the phone. "I wonder when our ti--" There was a thud on the door.
"Uhm, I'll get it." Jessie said, a little cautious. She slid off the counter and openedthe door to find an owl, holding a package. "Sorry, uhm, I don't think any of us should be going to Hogwarts." She informed the bird and closed the door in its face. She was about to go back to Shawna when there was another knock at the door. She sighed and turned around, opening the door. This time was that guy who is on all those commercials, giving people those giant checks worth lots of free money. "CONGRADULATIONS, YOU HAVE WON 30 MILLION DOLLARS!"
Jessie sighed again. "You can just go away if you don't have our free tickets, Kay thanks bye." She shut the door in his face again, waiting for the next knock. This time, when she opened the door, it revealed a mail man, with green hair and purple pants. A scarred, painted face smiled at her as he offered an envelope titled TWO FREE TICKETS.
"OH THANKS." Jessie said, snatching the envelope out of his hand and closing the door in his face too. She hurried down the hall until she bumped into Shawna. "So you got the tickets, right?" Shawna questioned, still curious about the hooting she kept hearing upstairs. "Yeah, after some lame owl and money guy came. This shifty mailman gave me this." She held the envelope in front of her face, showing it offShawna.
The envelope was charred and covered with random blood stains. They took it into the kitchen to further examine it under the light. Carefully, Shawna slid her finger under the seal. The first thing that fell out was a Joker Card. They looked at each other and shrugged. Then came the tickets that were attached to directions to the venue.
"SHIT, IT STARTS IN 20 MINUTES!" Jessie screamed, sending them both into a frenzy. They hurried upstairs, got changed, and called Whitney to take them there. After all, she was the only friend with a car. :](psweloveyouwhitney<3)
They searched through Shawna’s room and couldnt seem to produce any wearable clothing.
"I know!" Shawna said, grabbing Jessie by the arm and pulling her down the hallway. "I can borrow an outfit of my mom's!" They arrived in the lace covered room and headed for the closet. Shawna pulled open the door to reveal a vast collection of leather, latex, and feathers. Whips and chains hung from the shelves while thigh high boots lined the floor. Shawna played EENY MEENY MINY MOE" and decided on a tight, reveling, leather outfit, complete with a hip and hooker boots. Shawna shoved her boobs in it (because they're big) and urged Jessie to pick one of her own.
Jessie seemed a little more hesitant, but searched through the variety nonetheless. In the back she found her Aunt's old Steak n Shake uniform.
"I'll go with this..." she declared, tying the red bowtie in place.
"GREAT LETS GO" Shawna said, pulling out her phone again and calling Whitney. "HEY CHICA BONITA, WE NEED A RIDE PRONTO!" She hung up the phone and lead Jessie out the backdoor.
"Why are we going out the back door?"
"Shut up, I wanted to."
They ran like moose from the cops to meet Whitney at the nearest red light district. "Hey Shawna, why do these old men keep stopping and asking us to get in?" Shawna shrugged and told Jessie to stay close. Once they got to the corner titled SHINY COCK HILLS, Shawnacalled Whitney to se how far away she was. Across the street, Jessie noticed something strange. There was a large man in a black body suit and mask. He had gay little bat ears and a cape too. The strangest part was the pimp hat/Cain, trimmed in leopard print. When he turned around though, Jessie recognized him right off.
"SHIT, SHAWNA! BRAD PITT IS OVER THERE PIMPING CHICKS!"
Shawna looked up, sighing. "Jessie, you idiot, that’s Batman."
"Same difference."
"I wonder why he's taking money from that chick in leather..."
"Yeah, me too, I wonder why he's slapping that other chick in tights..."
"Mhm, I was wondering that, but the REAL QUESTION IS..."
"..."
"WHY IS HE TAKING IT UP THE BUTT FROM THAT GUY WITH PURPLE PANTS AND CLOWN MAKEUP??????????"
"OMG HE IS????"
"No."
"Oh, okay, there's Whitey."
They climbed into the back seat, since there seemed to be a mystery guest in the passenger. Once they were inside, they noticed birdie making bird noises (again) and Whitney tapping her fingers on the steering wheel.
"HEY" The two said in unison and they all settled in for the ride.
-To be continued-
NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z, I MEAN THIS SHITTY STORY:
After the mystery concert, 'the gang' and not Scooby doo get a call form help from the Gotham City Prison. Also, a couple familiar faces are seen once again. THERE WILL BE HOT SEXY AFFAIRS, THERE WILL BE LOCKED DOORS, THERE WILL BE SKINNY JEANS AND YES. . .THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
