~~Quotes by my favorite celebrities!!!~~Part 1

Bam Margera Quotes(I'm obbsessed with him!):

"You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter"
"Phil gets off work in ten minutes, and I've got twenty paintballs up in this bitch. He's gonna die"
"I'm Bam Margera, and I feel like kicking my dad's ass all day today!"
"I want you to punch me in the face one second prior to take-off, so that it softens the blow"
"This isn't Disney World. You're in Bam World now"
" These trees and these old people have one thing in common - they're both going in the ground soon!"
"Vito's finally number one but he's driving a car full of number two!"
"Going to a hotel would take too long. We need to sleep now!"
"Nothing is really "safe"."
''You gotta testdrive the car before you buy it Mum-Mum.''
"Basically, I tried to be a hot-ass and climb an Alp in the middle of the night with a Ferrari during a blizzard"
"I took H.I.M.'s tour bus!"

"Vito the whole world is laughing at you right now"

"Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3"."


Johnny Knoxville Quotes(He's HOT!):

"We hate you already."
"I love the spirit that makes people do things that they probably shouldn't"
"I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?"
"I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea."
"We killed Quack Quack!"
"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm about to get hit by a car real soon!"
"[to a cow] Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right."
"[Johnny Knoxville hands his fake grandson a flask] Don't hog it all you little prick..."
"[while Bam is in trailor with Cobra] You crying?"(I almost cried on that scene :(! )
"Ok, who brought crabs to the party? Ha ha. One of the guys had crabs!"
"[while gagging after Pontius drinks the horse semen] I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then."
"[under blankets, clearly suffering] No, you're just wafting Phil's ass in my nose!"
"[dazed, holding head after golf cart accident] I don't know what happened. I just remember we went in the air and the next thing I know, I'm just... fucked."

Dane Cook Quotes:
" It was Peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And you knew peace was coming because the priest would say it five times rapid fire. He'd go, "My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. While we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And I have a piece of lint in my peaceful EYE!""
"[holding hands up as if advertising something next to his face] Start out your day the holy way with Christ Chex!"
"[talking about time travel] I just want to run up and slap my dad's ass and run off screaming, "I'm your son from the future.! Ahh! I'm your son. From the future!""
"Mario Cantone is so gay, that when gay people walk down the street and see him, they're like, "Fag"."
"[pretending to read directions] "Beside the red house" [looks up] that's fuckin’ maroon you moron!"
"[as his friend Robert] Wait! Wait, du-... wait!... Dude, I heard a car! And I said uh... yeah, the world's full of them. You'll hear lots of them for the rest of your life. If you hear a humpback whale, that's weird. Tell me that shit, then I'll stop"
"Dude, smell my eyes!"
"And you know that family, every few months, for years, from time to time, whatever it is they're doing they would just stop, stop and look at each other and go... what the fuck did they take?"
"Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drive-thru?"
"It's the sound that makes me punch infants."
"Jesus Christ Timmy, do not float above me when I'm dying in the abyss"

That's it everyone!Stay tuned for part 2!!