"Where's Joe?"
Those were the first words to come out of my mouth when I arrived to school on Monday. I know what you're thinking; why did I not just get off my butt and walk across the street to talk to Joe, it is kind of important. The thing is I did go over there, I guess they were out of town for the weekend; probably for a concert no doubt. So my only option was telling him today.
"You miss a whole week of school and that's all you have to say?" Sophie demanded placing her hand on her hip.
"Not to mention not answering your phone, you could have died for all we knew" Rachel added.
"Sorry mom and dad but where is he?" I asked again standing up on my tip-toes searching the school grounds.
"So how are you feeling?" Taylor asked looking up from her drawing that she was working on.
"Taylor she wasn't sick" Rachel said with a laugh and an eye roll.
"Yeah we've been through this 10 times, she needed time to think" Sophie explained again.
"Guys where is he?" I asked for the 3 time that morning.
"We don't know!" they all yelled at once
"Well did you talk to him last week at all?" I asked curious.
"No, he really didn't talk to anyone, he was kinda down in the dumps" Taylor replied.
"Great" I mumbled through my teeth
"What could be so important that you need to talk to him this moment?" Sophie asked
"I just need to talk to him" I answered
It's not like they wouldn't find out that I felt the same way about Joe, I just felt uncomfortable sharing my inner most feelings with them. Well not just them, with anyone really, so I didn't exactly know how this was going to work out, going to talk to Joe and all.
"If you needed to talk to him why didn't you go over to his house?" Taylor asked
"Well he was out of town this weekend, and I even walked to school this morning hoping that he would be walking too, but no luck" I explained
"Maybe he's just running late, it must take him forever to straighten his hair" Rachel said with a smirk earning a laugh from Sophie and Taylor. Me, I wasn't really in the laughing mood, I really needed to talk to him.
"Come on Aubrey, chill out, he'll come eventually" Sophie said realizing that I didn't laugh at the joke.
"Yes deep breaths" Rachel said trying to keep a straight face.
"Shut up" I said glaring playfully as the bell rang.
"Bye!" I yelled as a sprinted towards Joe's locker thinking maybe I would find him there.
"Ok, bye to you too" Sophie said shaking her head slightly.
I pushed myself through the crowded hallway earning glares from my peers, but I didn't care. I took the stairs two at a time until I reached the 2nd floor lockers. I wasn't exactly sure which locker was his, its not like I spent a lot of time there or anything, but I knew the general area.
Then I spotted a head of dark brown, straight, shaggy hair. Knowing it was Joe I started walking over to him. He was kind of standing there in a daze grabbing books that he would need throughout the rest of the day. That's when the butterflies started fluttering around in my stomach, almost to the point where I was sick. The palms of my hands started sweating, and I had no idea what I was going to do about it. Those were the least of my problems though; I was the most worried about what I was going to say. I mean I hadn't thought about that part of it at all, in fact I hadn't thought any of this out. I had to basically push myself over to him.
"Joe" I said breathlessly
"Aubrey…" he replied hoarsely keeping his gaze in his locker
"I really need to talk to you, I really don't know how to say it but –" I began before Joe cut me off.
"Look, just save it ok? I had a bad week, and weekend, you might not realize it, but its hard to sing songs after you've had your heart torn out" Joe said not being so much rude, but it was kind of a statement.
"No, that's what I want to talk to you about" I tried again.
"Aubrey I understand, and when I'm ready to be just a friend, you'll be the first to know" Joe said shutting his locker finally looking at you.
"You don't understand, I don't want to be friends either" I said with I smile
"Why is that a good thing?" Joe asked taken aback
"No that came out wrong, I just this is like really hard for me…" I stopped as I searched for the right words.
"You really should go to your locker so you're not late for class" Joe said as he started walking away.
"No Joe please just give me a minute" I said walking after him.
"Aubrey I can't wait for you anymore, its eating me away inside because as much as I want to just forget you I can't, and you standing here isn't helping me at all" Joe said as he whipped around to face me.
"Joe, please" I said as I found myself begging like he had.
"Not today Aubrey" Joe whispered as he looked down.
"I know that inside Joe, you want to listen to me" I said
"I've been thinking that maybe your right, I should start thinking with my head instead of my heart" he said as he turned around and walked down the hallway.
"Joe I was wrong, totally wrong, about everything, Joe I want to give you my heart, I'm in love with you only you, that's why I can't be your friend either, and I know you love me, for the first time I'm following my heart for you, please Joe, come back" I screamed down the hallway as a lump formed in my throat and tears poured down my face.
I watched as he suddenly stopped walking and turned around to look at me for a long minute. I really thought that he was going to walk back to me and give me a hug, tell me that everything was going to be ok, and that he was in love with me, but he slowly turned around and continued to walk down the hallway; leaving me the one standing there. I suddenly knew exactly how he felt, but this wasn't over.
