Hello, this is Emi and I'll be represent Kohaku because... WE HAVE A CONTRACT!!! So. Me and the other characters have come to tell you what's wrong with the Seven Minutes in Heaven that SOME (Not all, please specify that not ALL people do this...) of you people do.
Emi: Okay, we're gunna start with Kankuro, because he seems to be the most sterio-typed.
Kankuro: ....Okay, First off, WHERE DO YOU GET THE IDEA THAT I WANNA 'Do it' WITH EVERY GIRL I MEET!?!?!
Emi: Kankuro, stop ylling, it's kinda offencive.
Kankuro: Me? Being offencive!? AGAINST THEM!?!? They're offending ME!?
Emi: Kankuro!
Kankuro: Okay, okay. Please, I would like to know: Where did the pervert thing START? Seriously (Me: No really, message me and tell me this). Also *Puts finger up* I like to say that I don't talk to Karasu, that was just a funny thing at the end of a Shippuden episode, put there so all of YOU! *Points at everyone* will be ammused and keep watching. I do these things for YOU! SO! I would REALLY appreciate it if you stop making me do stuff like this.
Emi: You done?
Kankuro: Yeah. And thank you to all who DON'T do this.
Emi: Okay, now that we got the most ripped-on one out of the way... Next is Kiba.
Kiba: Okay, okay, okay. I do NOT have THAT huge of an ego. I was only so mean to Naruto in the exams because I wanted to see if that was really his limit. I'm not such a bad guy! FURTHER MORE!! JUST because I have a dog does NOT mean that I AM a dog. Let me specify what you people do to me!!
1. And you didn't enjoy the kiss very much because he had dog-breath.
2. The kiss was wet and sloppy.
3. He started barking. (Kiba: SERIOUSLY!?!?!)
4: And you ran away because he was peeing on the couch. (Kiba: YES I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE!!)
Kiba: I AM NOT A DOG!!! Just because I enjoy the company of Akamaru and other dogs does not mean I act like one outside battle (Emi: Nice catch, huh? You coulda been like "Well in the fight..." *All proud of herself*).
Emi: That it?
Kiba: OH! And I'm not a pervert... That's it. Thank you all for reading. And thank you to all who don't do this.
Emi: Next is... Lee!
Lee: Hello! *Waves* How come in the quizzes that I'm IN (Me: Heh heh, I'm guiltly of not putting him in, BUT I said in the memo if you ask, that I'll make it. So it's your fault for not reading the memo. Seriously, those are important.) the quizmaker always runs away screaming "NOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Or they kiss me out of pitty. It's mean and I don't like it. And to all those that PUT ME IN (Me: Heh.) and make them NOT pitty me and/or run, thank you so much. ALSO, people have the tedancy to put me in a relationship with Gai-Sensai or say the same thing... Example:
1. He didn't wanna go in because he loves Gai.
2: He was too busy making out with Gai in the corner to realize it was his turn.
3: Lee: IF YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND I PROMISE TO PROTECT YOU!!!
Emi: The last is sweet, but gets annoying after a while.
Lee: Exactly, and it's in almost all my results. Thank you for reading this and I'd appereciate if you'd please stop with what's mentioned above.
Emi: Okay now... Sasuke.
Sasuke: e_o What is WRONG with you PEOPLE!? Okay, 95% of all my reasults are, or is close to, a lemon. And IF NOT, then the quiztaker/maker (Especially the maker) hates me. Also it's the same thing: After the semi-lemon fangirls BURST down the door, threaten to attack the quiztaker, then I jump infront and say "Touch her and die" ......................... No. EVERY TIME!! OR I get shot with a machine gun/bazooka/any other ungodly machine in a desperate attempt to be random/funny... That joke (If you can even call it that) is OVER-USED, NOT FUNNY. Or, the quiztaker, Sakura, and Ino get shot for being my fangirl... NOT EVERYONE'S A FANGIRL!!!
Emi: I think these are very good points, Sauske.
Sasuke: Thank you. And... That's it.
Emi: Next up is... Shikamaru.
Shikamaru: Not everything I do has to do with clouds, sleeping, or shougi. I don't have my head so far up my ass that I have nothing else to talk about or do. In almost all the quizzes, this is what happens: Quiztaker thinks I'm asleep, confesses their love OUT LOUD, and I kiss them saying something close to "You troublesome girl, I wanted to tell you first." or "What a drag, I'm in love" etc, etc, then we go into a heated make-out session, and they open the door while our clothes are half off. Admit it, everytime!
Emi: True, true. That all, any after thoughts?
Shikamaru: ... Nope.
Emi: Okay, next we have Neji.
Neji: Alright, listen up. Everything I say has to do with destiny in your quizzes (Me: I'm also guilty of this, but back then, I didn't know much about Neji and on all the quizzes that's all he seemed to talk about -Hence his rant- I may change it soon so don't yell at me, please), such AS:
1. Destiny brought us here together.
2. Destiny says we should be together.
3: Maybe it's our destiny.
Neji: And the list goes on. Listen, after I got my ass kicked in the 3rd stage of the Chuunin Exams, I've stopped believing that. Also, people have been making me see through people's shirts with my byakugan. Okay, it won't even let me do that! I see the chackra network UNDER your skin! NOT under your clothes! So please, stop.
Emi: Okay, good. Anything else?
Neji: *Shakes head* I'm good.
Emi: Now we have... Ino and Sakura.
Ino: Now we don't have results very often, but it's the Sasuke result we'd like to talk about.
Sakura: As said bafore, we always rip down the door.
Ino: Or get shot.
Sakura: We DO have self control when it comes to Sauske. We changed after the chuunin exams. AND we can crush on other people.
Ino: Right. Also, I DON'T have a rivalry against Temari over Shikamaru. Where did THIS come from!? Also, Sakura and I are friends now. Seriously people, did you completely AVOID the Chuunin Exams? Seriously!
Sakura: An we don't apperciate getting shot, manslottered, sliced, shanked, blown up, blown AWAY, hit, or yelled at. It hurts, people.
Ino: There is ONE acception. If it's not for a game (Seven minutes in heaven, spin the bottle, etc.) and is used for a joke in which we are NOT killed. (Me: Not trying to be all special or anything, this is the only thing I could think of. My prank calls. 'You' chase her away with a chainsaw that WASN'T started and she DIDN'T get hurt.) Right.
Sakura: *Peace sign* Thank you!
Ino: See ya!
Emi: Now for Naruto!!
Naruto: Now, everytime I'm about to go in, it sais: Naruto jumped up, "I GOT ___-CHAN!! BELIEVE IT!!!" and grabbed your wrist and pulled you in the closet.
Then it either goes: Naruto shifted "Sorry if I emabarassed you out there, I'm pretty sure that you'd wanna be with Sasuke or Neji." then the quiztaker cuts me off and says "No... I wanted you."
or... I spend the whole time talking about ramen and training. NO!! That's NOT cool. And... *Taps his chin* That's it.
Emi: That was short... Anyway onto Gaara.
Gaara: Okay. I know what love is now. But, dispite that, in the results I always say "___-Chan, what is love?" then the explain to me, then I say something close to "Like how I feel for you?" I know what love is. Ever since the Chuunin Exams (Emi: Seriously, like, re-watch that or something, people.) I'm not a blood thursty... thing anymore, k?
Emi: I like that, short and to the point.
Gaara: Thanks.
Kakashi: Why are we even in there?
Asuma: And don't say "To supervise" because, honestly, we don't CARE about your teenaged relationships.
Gai: And I may care about Lee. But not like THAT! C'mon! Lee is my student who had low self-asteem and I just wanted to help him out.
Jiraiya: I have nothing to say... Kakashi took it.
Kurenai: And why woul we come to a party full of genin and a chunin-
Asuma: Ha ha ha.
Kurenai: O_o... When we have other things to do?
Asuma: And why put me in the result when me and Kurinai are together?
Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Emi: I KNEW IT!
Gai: What?
Emi: Are you all done?
Kakashi: I'm good.
Jiraiya: *Looks up* I barely said anything.
Emi: I'll take that as a 'yes'
Gai: I'm all good!
Kurinai: Got my point across.
Asuma: *Nods*
Emi: Um... *Looks up* I think that's the worst of it... *Looks back* now, they (Or the other characters) may find something else they hate and Kohaku will have to post all their complaints some more. so, if you think that there's something else, feel free to say so... she'll put it in if it's a good point.
