Don't Try To Fix me I'm not Broken.

Dear Family,

I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. But I have to do this. I don’t want to live on this world anymore. This may seem confusing now, but maybe one day you’ll understand. Collin - my beautiful, young boy - look after yourself, do what you want to do and don’t let anyone stop you. Alexandra - my little princess - promise me you’ll be who you want to be and not what everyone else wants to be. And look after your brother - even though I’m sure he can look after himself. Robert - the love of my life - I wish I could tell you how much I love you. Look after everyone special to you. I’m sorry I can’t be there to help you. And I’m sorry I can’t be there to watch you kids grow up. Don’t waste your life like I have. Live it to the full. Find someone you love and cherish every moment with them. Good luck. I love you all more than I can possibly say and for that reason I’m not going to tell you why I’m doing this or how. Don’t grief for me, this is my decision.

I love you. I’m sorry.

Annabel - Mom. X

As I stared at the note that changed our lives forever, I began to sob uncontrollably. Brendon quickly wrapped his arms around me and I buried myself into his chest.

“Shhh, It’s okay. I’m here.” he soothed, stroking my hair. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I-I- was-s only t-ten.” I sobbed, my voice muffled by his shirt. “And I-I found m-my mom d-d-dead.”

He held me tighter. He was about the only good thing in my life at the moment and I was going to do what my mom said; I was going to cherish every moment.

* * *

“Eugh. We have Science today.” I moaned, as me and Brendon walked out of the familiar parking lot.

“Mmm.” he said. I looked at him. He was deep in thought, staring in to the distance.

“Yo!” I said, jumping in front of him and waving my hand in his face. “Anyone in theeerrreee?!” I sang, laughing. He grabbed my wrist, but I saw the hint of a smile on his lips.

“Listen, do you wanna come to mine tonight?” he asked. I narrowed my eyes.

“Why?”

“Cause I Want You Too Silly.” he said, tapping my nose lightly.

“I don’t believe you.” I stated, crossing my arms. “I think you don’t want me to go home to my dad. Well for your information,” I stabbed him in the chest with my finger. “I’ve been… putting up with my dad for 7 years since…” I lowered my voice. “Since mom died. And I’ve been just fine.”

He stared at me. “You call being beaten by your own flesh and blood just fine, then yeah, you’re peachy.”

“Brendon…”

“Brendon, nothing! I don’t want you going home to-to him!” he cried.

“Why do you care?!” I yelled, getting a few curious looks from passers by.

“You’re my best friend, Alex! Of course I care.” He blushed. I smiled, slightly.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? Come to your house every day?” I asked, taking his hand.

He sighed. I’d won. “Let’s just… go to class, ‘kay?”

He smiled, looking down at my hand around his. “Yeah, let’s go.” he said, gripping my hand.

First Lesson: English. I enjoyed English because we were studying poetry - another reason why I was called Emo. I had just begun scribbling down a few ideas for a poem, when yet another note was thrown onto my desk. I rolled my eyes and opened the note.

Hey.

How are ya, sunshine?

You know you wanna come to mine after school…

Brendon - You wish he was yours. x

P.S. Do my work for me?

I sighed, scribbling a messy reply, before throwing it over my shoulder to Brendon.

Yo.

I’m just dandy.

Yes Brendon, I do wanna come to yours… so I can finally make passionate love to you.

Sadly, I think my dad would kill me. Not literally of course.

Alex - I’ll be beauty, if you’ll be beast… X

P.S. No. Haha.

I glanced at the board at the front of the classroom and began taking notes, when another note - actually the same note - came my way.

Huh! How dare you laugh at my torment!

I don’t get this stuff though!

Help Me…

Ahhh come on, please come to mine… he’ll never know. Not that your dad doesn’t know you exist or anything. Cause he does. I’m gonna stop writing now…

Brendon - The Beast. X

I laughed under my breath at his careful wording. He was so cute. Whoa. Did I just think that? Weird. I was about to write back, when the bell rang. Class over already? That went fast. I stood up and as I was about to take a step, I went smack into someone. I looked up to see Chad. Your average jock - star of the football team, cheerleader girlfriend, blah, blah, blah…

“Watch where you’re going, Emo chick!” he yelled in my face. I flinched.

“Sorry.” I murmured.

“Hey! Get the hell away from her!” Brendon yelled, standing up.

“Oh! Look who it is! New kid, standing up for Emo chick?” he laughed. “Are we the ’knight in shining armour’?”

“Don’t call her ’Emo chick’, or anything else!” Brendon shouted.

“Brendon. It’s okay.” I whispered, blushing. “Let’s go.” I begun tugging on his arm.

“Yeah, go with your new girlfriend, Freak. Run away!” he mocked. Brendon glared, but let me pull him away.

“What a bastard.” he muttered under his breath.

“Just ignore him.” I said, stroking his arm so that he might unclench his fists.

He smiled. “Sorry about that.”

“No problem. I don’t mind having a knight in shining armour.” Hang on. Was I flirting? Eww.

Brendon didn’t notice my accidental flirting and we walked to Music as normal - talking about everything.

* * *

“Okay, students. I want you to get into groups of two or three and play a piece of music of your choice.” Mrs. Daniels said in her normal, monotone voice.

“Yes!” I whispered, high-fiving Brendon.

“You can use any of the instruments in the room.” she continued, motioning to the instrument cupboard, where - funnily enough - she kept the instruments. “Starting .. Now.”

I jumped up, pulling Brendon too. “What can you play?” I asked.

“Uh… Piano? Guitar? Do vocals count?” he smiled.

“Ok… What song do you wanna play?”

He pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I dunno.” he said, eventually.

I sighed. “Fine. I have an idea. Go sit at the piano, before anyone else takes it.” I ordered. He obeyed, and I went to retrieve two microphones.

“Here.” I said, handing one to him.

“What are we playing?”

“You know: Fall For You By Secondhand Serenade?” I asked, hopefully.

“Mhm!” he smiled. “But who sings?”

“Both of us. I’ll be gracious and let you sing the verses and we’ll both sing on the chorus… Is that okay?” I smiled. I’ve always been kinda bossy…

“That sounds just awesome.” he said, smiling too.

“Okay then! Let’s start practising!”

Brendon nodded and turned to the keys. He begun to play. It was beautiful, the way his hands moved across the ivory. But when he started to sing… Wow. His voice was like melting honey.

I stared at him.

“Um, Alex? It’s your turn. Alex?” he lifted a hand from the keys and waved it in front of my face.

“Oh! Sorry! I just- I didn’t know you could sing like that.” I muttered.

He smiled. “Yeah, well, I don’t like to brag.”

I opened my mouth to say something, when Mrs. Daniels called us all to attention.

“That’s enough practise! Time to perform!”

I gulped. “Uh-oh.”

“Seeing as you two appear to be ready, you can go first, Alex & Brendon.” she said, attempting to smile - and failing might I add.

I took a deep breath and nodded at Brendon. He begun playing the introduction, and begun to sing into the microphone.

He looked toward me and I put the microphone to my mouth. Together we sang…

I took the microphone away and Brendon continued with the verses. I smiled to myself. I heard a booing sound coming from the back of the audience. I looked over and saw it was none other than Chad. I rolled my eyes as he continued to boo and laugh with his other jock friends. I glanced down at Brendon as I began to sing the chorus with him again. He looked as though he was struggling to concentrate. I smiled at him in encouragement and he smiled back. He kept eye contact with me as he continued to sing without me:

We kept singing until the very end, despite Chad’s childishness.

I grinned as Brendon played the last note. The room erupted into applause - except for a few, can you guess who? Even Mrs. Daniels looked as though she enjoyed it, and that’s saying something! We took a bow and sat down together. I gave him another high five.

“You were awesome!” I cried.

“Not as awesome as you!” he said. “Seriously, give me singing lessons!”

“Shut up! You are so much better than me!”

“Yeah right! You-”

“Let’s just say you both suck!” yelled Chad. Cue stupid giggling. I glared.

“Oh, and I’d like to hear you try!” I said, turning away from him.

“You tell him, Emo chick!” Brendon laughed.