Pokemon Mystery Dungeon! A human soul in a Pokemon body!

Chapter 1:If Pokemon are real i'll eat my tail! Wait a second,tail?!

i was walking home from another terrible day at work,i work at a cafe as a waitress and i'm constantly abused by my boss who hates me and always wonders why he hired me,and yet,he never sacks me. Probably because his stupid rotting cafe has no other staff and the only customers are druggies who like topoke at the eye candy (me). Yup,he hiredme to be sexually abused by horny crack addicts. "So why don't you quit?" you ask? Because both my parents are dead and i have no other way to get money to buy food and drink. i live in a slum with a family of foxeswho sometimes nibble on me during the night. Not a great life huh? But hey,life's not fair,and it was extra a$$holish to me. So anyway, i was walking 'home' to the foxes,in my work uniform AKA the only clothes i've got,when i saw a strange light coming from around the corner. Being the curious person i am i looked around the corner. There were three 'things' shrouded in shadow,standing before a glowng blue portal,which made me wonder how they were in shadow but oh well. One of them turned and pointed at me. i gulped. i turned and tried to run but i was pinned with ease. i saw the figures standing over me and then everything went black.
i woke up in a beautiful green forest surrounded by flowers i'd never seen before. i got up and stretched,i felt good. i didn't know where i was,but i didn't care. Anywhere was better than there. i wandered through the forest and soon found a lake. i splashed my face and let the cool water drip down my face. i looked at my reflection in the water,and i realised it wasn't my own. i saw my eyes widen and i couldn't help but shout.
"Hey what the f*** is going on here? What happened to my FACE!? I'm an Eevee?! Since when?! I'm a human people! HUMAN!"
i then realised i was actually shouting at someone,not just myself. i opened my eyes. i was staring into the puzzled face of a Pikachu. He narrowed his eyes at me.
"And what's exactly wrong with being an Eevee?" He asked. i could feel my cheeks going red.
"Umm...well...you see i...i..." i could tell i couldn't lie to this guy,but it seemed so weired to tell him it,wait a second! i thought,this guys a Pikachu he shouldn't be talking!
"Hey you!" i pointed at him with my little Eevee paw. "You're a Pikachu! You shouldn't be talking!"
"Why shouldn't i? You're talking and you're an Eevee."
"No i'm not. i'm a human!" i holded my arms and glared at the Pikachu.
"No you aren't! You're just an average Eevee,even though Eevee's are pretty rare..."
"Rare huh?" i asked.
"Yeah,you never see many Eevee around,so maybe you are different?"
"Damn straight! Coz i'm a human!"
"Hmm,if you say so...ahh i'm kidding course i believe you!" He held out a hand,uhh,paw thing.
"I'm Xyphie and you are...?"
"Xyphie? Seriously? That's gotta be the coolest damn name i've ever heard! i'm Colie!"
"Uhh,Collie?"
"No dumbass! Collie's are dogs it's pronounced Coal-ee!"
"Ohh!" Xyphie blushed. "i'm sorry."
"Don't worry aboutit." i smiled. "Everybody makes that mistake at first."
Suddenly an ear-piercing scream filled the air.
"Help! i need help! Somebody brave possibly?! Oh i don't care anyone!"
A Butterfree burst out into the clearing we were in. She looked frantic.
"Ahh a rescue team! Thank heavens!"
"Uhh,what's a rescue team?" i whispered to Xyphie.
"i'll explain later but we definetly aren't one." He stepped up to the Butterfree.
"i'm very sorry but we aren't a rescue team."
"Oh you aren't? Oh what am i to do?!" theButterfree looked close to tears.

"What's wrong?" i asked her.

"Oh it's my baby Caterpie,you see i was flying along with him in the Tiny Woodsand i dropped him! And then a huge fissure opened in the ground and Caterpie fell in! i tried to get him but a Poochyena jumped out at me and,being the pansy that i am,was defeated! And now i can't help poor Caterpie!"
"Oh no!" Xyphie exclaimed.
"What's wrong?" i asked knowing what he was gonna say. Well at least,i thought i did.
"I left the back door open at my house!" Hearing the Butterfree snivel he quickly put on a big smile and said.
"I mean,umm..."
"That we'll help you're Caterpie of course!" i jumped in to save the day. Xyphie nodded.
"Yea that's right! C'mon Collie let's go!" We walked off together into the Tiny Woods.
"You called me Collie again." i whispered angrily.
"Sorry." Xyphie whispered back. "And thanks for helping out then,i just couldn't believe that she couldn't beat a Poochyena in the Tiny Woods!"
"What? Are they stupidly wimpy?"
"Yup and if such can't beat the wimpiest of the wimpy...then she must be a super wimp!"
"Lol you meanie! i probably can't do much better!"
"Yea but you're a human! You've got an excuse!"
So we walked off into the Titchy-i mean Tiny Woods,laughing and joking,probably p!$$ing off the Butterfree to no end.

We were walking through Tiny Woods. i suddenly realised i still didn't know what a rescue team was.
"Hey Xyphie."i waved at him.
"Yea?"
"What's a rescue team?"
"Oh yea you don't know do you? Well a rescue team is a team of Pokemon who go and save wimps who suck so bad they have to get someone to go rescue them. So the rescue team goes and does that and they get a reward for saving them. And then you get rescue points and when you get a cetain number of points you're rescue rank goes up. You start off at crappyNormal rank,then you go on to slightly less crappy Bronze rank,then decent Silver rank,pretty cool Gold rank,funkyPlatinum rank,amazingDiamond rank and OMG how the hell did u get so good Lucario rank."
"Who the hell is Lucario?" i asked.
"Legendary."
"Right."
"Oh look a crappy Sunkern let's beat it up!" Pikachu pointed to a Sunkern that wasglaring at us,clearly asking for a fight. i stepped up.
"May i?" i asked.
"Be my guest." Xyphie stood back.
"Alrighty Sunkern," i said,cracking my knuckles. "Let's do it."
Sunkern did an average attack on me. 5 damage.
"Okay then." i smiled. "Pepper Breath! Oops wrong show." Xyphie buried his head in his hands.
"Hey i can do it now! Tackle!" i tackled the Sunkern and it creased up in pain andfaded away.
"Woah! What happened where'd it go?!" i looked around frantically for it. Xyphie laughed.
"You beat it." he patted me on the back. i blushed.
"Oh."
We went through the rest of the Woods without disturbanceand found the Caterpie shivering in a corner.Xyphie went and patted it on the back.
"Hey little fella,wanna come with us? We can take you back to your Mother." He turned and looked at Xyphie with big eyes.
"Really?"Xyphie nodded. So Caterpie came back with us and we took him back to Butterfree.
"Oh thank you so much!" She cried."Here, have this Oran Berry and a Cheri Berry and a Rawst Berry! Take them all!"
Caterpie smiled at us.
"Thank you so much for saving me." i noticed he was blushing slightly.
"Anytime,just try to stay away from fissures in the future."i grinned from behind the berries.
"But it wasn't my fault!" Caterpie protested. i patted him on the head,dropping all the berries in doing so.
"Course it wasn't,you just keep telling yourself that."
"But it really wasn't!"
"Didn't you knowthat it's rude to insult your rescuer?"
"Oh. Sorry."
"Never mind little buddy!" i turned to pick up the berries. Xyphie watched me,not offering to help mewith them,no not at all.
"Hey Colie." i looked up. Caterpie and his mother had gone andthe sun was blazing in the sky.
"Yea what?"
"Do you have anywhere to stay?"
"Whaddaya think? i woke up in these woods andiknow i'm a human and that's about it,oh yea and my human life sucked. Do you THINK i'll have somewhere to stay?"
"Well then i've got a spare place you can stay in."
"Alright then i'm bushed."
" 'k then follow me."
We walked out of the woods together and went to a little hut which looked like it had half a strawberry on it's top. Xyphie stopped in front of it. It was getting dark by now and i walked straight into his back.
"Owie. Are we there yet?" i asked rubbing my eyes.
"Yup,this is my base in case i ever make a rescue team. i haven't obviously,soyou can stay here."
"Joy a bed!" i yelled when we went inside the base. It was a straw bed,which was better than anything i'd ever had, so i was overjoyed. i ran forward and flopped down on it.
"Mmm,it's so soft." i curled up ready to sleep,but clearly Xyphie had over plans.
"You wait here and i'll make us some dinner." i lay with my eyes closed,listening to the Pikachu make dinner. It smelt delicious so i couldn't fall asleep. It wassoon ready and we sat at the little wooden table and ate. i'dnever seen food like it before,but it tasted good and warmed my belly.
"Umm,Xyphie?" i needed to tell him something.
"Yea?"
"Well you see i wasn't entirely truthful earlier."
"So you aren't a human?"
"No no,i am it's just...well i can remember my human life."
"So why didn't you say so earlier?"
"Well it wasn't exactly a great life."
"What was wrong with it?"
i explained my life to Xyphie and he listened,nodding while i spoke. When i was done,heshook his head and said:
"i guess you won't want to talk about this much anymore." i shook my head. Suddenly Xyphie's eyes shone.
"i know! Colie,let's make a rescue team!"

End of Chapter 1. Hope you enjoyed and will comment and rate. i no not a lot of people will read this but i hope if u do,you'll recommend it to others. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!