The Story of a Loser [PATD] 1

Ryan Ross Qoute:

Enter Ryan Ross

“You’re a dip shit.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Pft. Like that’s even possible!”

I groaned, opening my eyes a crack to see who the hell thought they could wake me up. Or better yet, to tell those assholes to shut the fuck up.

“You’re gunna wake Ryan up.”

“Ryan can suck my-“

“SPENCER!” I vaguely made out the sound of Hanna’s voice.

“-My balls and-”

“I swear to God Spencer. You’re a pig.” Hanna continued on angrily.

And that’s when I heard her voice. “Hanna, doll. You’re approaching this the wrong way. See, watch me.” I could hear Robbie shuffling around on the floor for something. “Ah ha!” And then I heard a loud thump.

“ROOBIIE! What the hell!”

“Converse meet Spencer, Spencer meet Converse.” Robbie laughed.

Before they could argue any more, I sat up abruptly.

“Oh look. You’ve guys gone and woken him.” Hanna groaned.

I shot her a tired smile. “Thanks for your efforts Hanna, but it was a lost cause. You guys are loud as fuck.” My eyes shot around the room until they found Robbie. She was grinning at me apologetically and memories from last night rattled around my head.

Spencer was still on the floor, eyes attached to his videogame. “And you Spencer, can suck your own-”

“RYAN! Common’! I mean seriously can’t guys go two seconds without mentioning their, uh, well, you know, uhm,”

“Penis.” Robbie threw in helpfully with her eyebrows raised.

“Don’t say it.” Hanna scowled.

Robbie’s smile widened. “Penis. Big juicy-”

“I’m leaving.” Hanna growled.

“Something tells me Hanna doesn’t like that word.” Brendon muttered tiredly while rubbing his eyes.

Spencer grinned maliciously. “What a shame for you Brendon. I mean, if she doesn’t like to say the word then she obviously won’t want to see your-”

“Shut up asshole.” Brendon grumbled, while turning a nasty little shade of red.

Robbie, who was completely oblivious to everyone else, was bouncing up and down on the couch singing. “Penis, penis, penis, penis, EVERYWHERE!”

I shook my head before grabbing her in mid bounce. I pulled her over into my lap while simultaneously covering her mouth with one hand. “Robbie. No more singing.” I said simply, before tucking her head under my chin.

I felt her sigh dramatically before sinking into my chest. I grinned. How easily it was for me to win her over.

And then, as if she read my thoughts, she spit in my hand. “EW! ROBBIE!” I laughed before removing my hand and trying to rub her spit on her.

She cackled evilly before squirming around in my lap. “Ryan has Robbie germs!”

I smirked before licking my hand and wrapping the other one around her waist. “Oh yeah? Well Robbie has Ryan germs.” I grinned while trying to wipe my spit on her. She squirmed some more, kicking and laughing happily when someone’s voice sliced through the atmosphere.

“Ryan. What are you doing?” Robbie stiffened in my arms instantly, and I automatically released her.

Christy stood in the doorway looking pissed. “Are you cheating on me with that? You’re such an asshole.” She growled.

Seems like a lotta people have been calling me that lately. I opened my mouth to protest, but it wasn’t my voice I heard. It was Robbie’s. This can’t be good.

“Listen Christy, nothings going on between me and Ryan. We’re just friends. So chill out and stop yelling at him about that. Nothing’s happened and nothing will.” It was one of those few times where Robbie sounded completely serious.

Christy’s face instantly relaxed, she got all the reassurance she wanted from Robbie. I know I should feel relieved too. But all I could feel was confusion. She said nothing would ever go on between us. What was that supposed to mean? I wasn’t good enough for her? But why would that matter anyways? I have Christy, right?

“Alright fine. But I’m watching you.” Christy glared daggers at Robbie before stalking out of the room to sulk. As soon as her back was turned Robbie started making faces at her.

“She’s only pissed cause’ she can’t go to the concert.” Spencer laughed from the floor. Apparently him and Brendon had stopped fighting to watch the show.

“Speaking of which,” Jon spoke from the door of the bus. “We’re gunna be late if we don’t hurry our asses up and get ready!”

Robbie, who was lying on the floor, starring at the ceiling, turned to look at Jon. She saluted him “On it fairy Godmother.”

Shaking off the tension from earlier, I stood up and kicked Robbie lightly before going to get changed. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see her throw a very nice one-handed gesture in my direction.

Enter Robbie Rosenberg

“SISKY!!! NOOOO! DON’T DIE!” I yelled theatrically, trying to keep a straight face.

But that was proving to be quite a challenge, due to the fact that Adam T. Siska was playing dead at my feet, whilst being covered in ketchup.

“Sorry baby. That’s the business.” William’s cool, fake, accented voice spoke from above me. I looked up and he held out his fingers in the shape of a gun.

“Ep!” I yelped out, before he pretended to shoot me.

“Okay. Cut.” Jack, the camera guy, laughed from 5 feet away. “Thanks so much Robbie, for standing in like that.”

I crossed my legs and twiddled my thumbs. “No problem.”

William sat down next to me. “And now comes the fun part.” He pulled out ketchup from behind his back. “You get to play dead now too!” He shot me a fake grin while lightly nudging Sisky with his foot.

I snorted, “I think he’s asleep. I mean the amount of times Jacky said cut!” I exaggerated, shaking my head.

Sisky emitted a fake snore into the air. I grinned, helping out with the TAI TV episode turned out to be a lot of fun.

“Okay,” I threw myself over Sisky, “I’m ready to play dead.” I heard William laugh and felt him ruffle my hair before feeling the sticky ketchup settle on my skin. Underneath me, Sisky began to squirm.

“No, bad Sisky. No moving.” I scolded, laughing.

“But, you’re fat!!” He whined.

“And you’re supposed to be dead.” I snorted. “Dead people generally don’t move.”

“But you’re fat!!!” He cried out again.

I pouted, pretending to be hurt. “I’m not fat! Take that back!”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“William, hand me the ketchup.” I demanded while holding Sisky down.

“Now, now, Robbie, play nice.” William chided from above me before passing me the bottle. I aimed it at a threatening angle. Close to Sisky’s head.

“Take it back.” I warned one last time. I saw Sisky’s eyes narrow before he shook his head stubbornly. Are all guys so egotistical?

“Just remember. You made me do this.” I said solemnly before squirting half the bottle in his face.

William laughed as Adam flipped me over, so that he was holding me down. He wrestled the bottle out of my hand as I kicked. There’s no way I’m going down without a fight.

“Eat ketchup!” He yelled triumphantly, before squirting the sticky substance in my face and hair. Jesus, I wonder how long I’m gunna have to wash my hair to get this shit out.

I yelped and squealed, trying to get Sisky’s fat ass off me, when suddenly, his weight was lifted. William had picked him up and placed him on the ground. “Annihilate Robbie time is over.” He shot me a sympathetic glance.

I glared. “Oh, and it couldn’t have been over, I dunno, 30 seconds earlier!” I groaned.

William snickered. “No, it was too funny.”

I pushed myself up off the floor. “William, give me a hug.”

His eye’s widened in horror. “No.” I leaped after him, and ignoring his protests, wrapped my arms around his extremely thin waist.

I cackled maliciously and Sisky watched, amused. “Wow William. She really got you there. Shall we check the score board? Smurf: 1 William: 0”

I let go of William immediately. “Shut up. Now where can I take a shower?”

William ran his hand through his hair, again. It most be some sort of compulsive habit. “You can go around the back.” He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s a shower there. Or at least a hose.”

Relief flooded through my veins.

“Wanna take a shower together?” Sisky wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively.

“Go play dead, asshole.”

-x-

“Showers, showers, showers,” I mumbled under my breath as I walked around the back of the venue. “Okay, no showers.” I concluded when I noticed the lot was empty. “Hose, hose, hose, hose.” Fuck. No hose. No hose means no water.

I sighed, very much so annoyed. Turns out I’m gunna have to sit through the whole show smelly and sticky.

“CAN I AT LEAST GET SOME FUCKING PERCIPITATION!?!” I yelled to nobody in particular.

But after scowling at the sky for five minutes, and noticing that no matter how much I yelled it remained as cloudless as ever, I began to pace.

“I swear to the fucking squirrel king, I will give out pounds of free nuts to homeless squirrels if I could just take a goddamn shower.” I rubbed my head, trying to think. When all of a sudden, and idea came to me.

Hotels have showers. Cars can drive to hotels. I can drive. Not very well, but that’s not the point. Grinning happily at my ingenious idea, I pulled out my phone. As I flipped open my crappy Samsung I noticed I had a missed call. Pursing my lips I checked the list and my stomach dropped.

Cassie had tried to call me 15 times. I had completely forgotten to call her. In fact, I don’t think I’ve called her in weeks. Sighing, I pressed “1” and waited to listen to a hundred messages that would surely be filled with tons of cursing.

Cassie has issues about reaching people.

But even though I knew I was in for some serious shit, I couldn’t help the smile tugging onto my lips. I anxiously fiddled with the zipper on my jacket as I waited to hear Cassie’s voice. I never actually realized until now how much I missed all my friends. Well, my only friends I should say. Besides everyone on tour, who somehow deal with me.

I think I even miss STD boy a little.

Hell must’ve frozen over, because I can vaguely recall telling Jason that I would miss him when it did.

“You have 1 new message.” My phone informed me.

Frowning, I nervously waited to listen to it.

“Robbie. Please. Answer your phone.” I was so startled that it was Jason’s voice speaking that I nearly dropped the phone. But what was more unnerving was the fact he was crying.

“There’s been an accident. I tried. I tried. I really did. But she’s gone. I told her not to leave. I-I,” For several moments my phone emitted a horrible crackling and choking sound. And I realized, with horror, that Jason had been sobbing uncontrollably.

“Jase.” I heard Kylie’s comforting voice float through my speaker. “Give me the phone” She whispered. “Robbie, hun, what Jason was trying to tell you is that Cassie’s been in a car crash. She was out to get chocolate milk and popcorn from Wal-Mart when a drunk driver plowed into her car. She-sh-” Kylie took a deep breath. “She died at the hospital, 20 minutes later. Please. I didn’t want to tell you this in a message. But I couldn’t reach you…I-”

Kylie’s voice was cut off and replaced with the detached, monotonous, one of the voicemail.

I wasn’t even aware of the fact that I had fallen onto the dirty black cement of the back lot.
Thank you for reading. And if anyone would like to send in quotes from any of the members of PATD then please do. You can also send in TAI qoutes too. I'm gunna be putting up a new quote for every chapter--xoxRADxox