I'm Not Okay (I Promise) || [1] of [?]

Gerard Way's Point-Of-View; right after Katlin left his house.

Mikey passed me a folded piece of paper. It had 'Gerard' scrawled on it in messy writing. I unfolded it. Inside it had a lot more of the messy writing, but it was smaller. At first it was illegible, but the more I read, the easier it as was to read. It read:

"Dear Gerard, I loved you, I really did. I thought you felt the same way. But I guess I was wrong. You've hurt me now in more ways than I thought possible. I don't want to see you again. I was wrong about everything. You basically killed me. You'll just hurt me more. Just don't talk to me, don't try to make me understand, because I won't work and I'll just get hurt more. You'll get it one day. I would say sorry, but that's your job.

L (the 'l' was scribbled out), Always,

Katlin Noam."

I froze and shrunk. I felt so small and helpless. What I wanted to do was get in my car, find her, and explain to her that Julie was here because Matt dared me to ask her out and talk to her about art until she got so pissed that she left. It seemed funny at the time, but now it seemed foolish and not worth it. I wanted to take her into my arms and tell her how much I loved her and how I felt. But, she told me to stay away, just not in so many, or so little words. So I didn't do all the things I wanted to. Instead, I dejectedly ate my dinner and took a drive around. Well, mainly a drive around Katlin's neighborhood...

End Gerard's Point-Of-View; Next Day

I woke up late. I felt very groggy. Mu breath felt heavy in my mouth. I was still wearing my jeans and tennis shoes. I looked around. I was in my room. I had some recollection, albeit faint recollection, of passing out on the sidewalk down the street,Then why the fuck was I in my room?I looked around, picking up my pillow, as if that would give me an answer,and it did. My potential answer lie in the letter under my pillow, with 'Katlin,' scrawled on it neatly in a pretty mix of cursive and print, known only as the handwriting of Gerard Way.

I quickly opened it, not thinking too hard as I read it, which was easy because of theexcruciatinglyneat handwriting. I read it so quickly that I had to read over it a few times to understand it:

"Katlin, you passed out on the sidewalk, you shouldn't do that. I got you back home and in bed, using the key under the mat. I'll leave you alone. I won't try to explain.

-Always,

Gerard."

Before I knew it, his letter was splattered with my tears. I put it back under the pillow and got ready for school, even though I was already late. Very late.

I started the walk. I noticed a new mom walking her kid around. She had short, fluffy brown hair with sandy highlights. I wondered if like, people had to get that haircut when they became parents. Like, the 'suburbia' haircut or something. She scowled at me, and I realized that I was staring.

I didn't hurry to school, because you get the same tardy slip whether you're five minutes or two hours late. So I walked slowly, taking all the detours. School starts at 8:05. I got there at 11:07.

"You know, if you're late, you need an excuse, or it counts as one of the three tardies you get to get detention," the woman at the desk explained. I leaned in, trying to be convincing. "You know, my mom, like just died." It was worth a shot, right? I didn't care if I got a tardy, but it was worth a shot, "Uh-huh," she mumbled and handed me the slip. It had my name, the date, time, etc., but on the 'Reason' line, she had written 'just late' and checked the 'Unexcused' line. So she didn't buy it. It was funny though, because it really was true. I laughed in my bitter misfortune.

Reality set in when the bell rang and the halls became populated. Gerard passed me. And we didn't say a single word to each other. I remembered that this was all my fault that this was happening. My fault because I fell in love with someone who didn't love me the same way. I thought he did, though.

the hardest part is leaving you.